Gremlins – Don’t Feed at All
By Bethany Maines
The premise of my Carrie Mae Mystery series is that in the
sixties, while other ladies were burning their bras and inventing Tupperware,
Carrie Mae Robart founded a door to door / friend to friend cosmetic selling
empire – Carrie Mae Cosmetics. Her goal was to give women financial
independence without having to work outside the home. However, the more women
she met, the more she realized that there were some problems that couldn’t be
solved with just money – some problems needed a fist in the face. So Carrie
Mae set up the Carrie Mae Foundation. Financed by proceeds from the cosmetic
sales, the foundation is part non-profit – working on pro-bono legal cases and
lobbying government on women’s rights issues – and partly a women only,
black-ops, elite fighting force. The heroines of my stories Nikki Lanier, Ellen
Marson, Jenny Baxter and Jane Rozmarek are part of that force and they travel
the world, fulfilling the Carrie Mae mission statement: helping women
everywhere.
sixties, while other ladies were burning their bras and inventing Tupperware,
Carrie Mae Robart founded a door to door / friend to friend cosmetic selling
empire – Carrie Mae Cosmetics. Her goal was to give women financial
independence without having to work outside the home. However, the more women
she met, the more she realized that there were some problems that couldn’t be
solved with just money – some problems needed a fist in the face. So Carrie
Mae set up the Carrie Mae Foundation. Financed by proceeds from the cosmetic
sales, the foundation is part non-profit – working on pro-bono legal cases and
lobbying government on women’s rights issues – and partly a women only,
black-ops, elite fighting force. The heroines of my stories Nikki Lanier, Ellen
Marson, Jenny Baxter and Jane Rozmarek are part of that force and they travel
the world, fulfilling the Carrie Mae mission statement: helping women
everywhere.
Now the thing you’ll notice about this premise is that it’s
only partially based in reality. I
mean, sure, it’s possible for a woman in the 1960’s to found a peer to peer
make up sales company. Not that I
know of any… ahem. But sadly, it
has apparently never occurred to anyone to found an elite fighting force for
women as part their non-profit. (If someone knows of one, please email me
immediately; I would like to join up.)
The problem with all of this lack of reality is that I have to make it
sound plausible when writing. And that means all the other bits have to sound
real. I have to research the guns and the locations and I try to make sure that
my characters emotions feel authentic.
But if I spend too much time in reality, I suddenly look at my own
premise and think, “That’s ridiculous!
I can’t write that.”
only partially based in reality. I
mean, sure, it’s possible for a woman in the 1960’s to found a peer to peer
make up sales company. Not that I
know of any… ahem. But sadly, it
has apparently never occurred to anyone to found an elite fighting force for
women as part their non-profit. (If someone knows of one, please email me
immediately; I would like to join up.)
The problem with all of this lack of reality is that I have to make it
sound plausible when writing. And that means all the other bits have to sound
real. I have to research the guns and the locations and I try to make sure that
my characters emotions feel authentic.
But if I spend too much time in reality, I suddenly look at my own
premise and think, “That’s ridiculous!
I can’t write that.”
That’s right; I tell myself, “I can’t.” Those are some of the worst words in
the English language. (Although,
they’re still not as bad as, “We need to talk.”) I’m two books and two short
stories, and half a manuscript into a series, and… I can’t? How does the Can’t Gremlin sneak into
so many places? I thought I was
well fortified behind the Walls of Fantasy; girded by the Armor of Gumption; defended
by the Holy Force of Imagination.
And yet… I can’t. Why is it
so hard to get that jerk of a gremlin out of the house? Can’t have an elite
fighting force? You might as well
suggest that a woman can’t write books. The cycle of Can’t can be extremely
hard to break, so when I get too down in the Can’ts, I like to read other
people’s books. There’s nothing
like a good trip through someone else’s imagination to leave the Can’t Gremlin
in the dust. But still, I know
he’s just waiting around the corner to trip me up. Which is why I prefer to visit reality infrequently and for
only brief periods of time. Feel
free to visit me any time, but leave your gremlins at the door – I can’t be
bothered with Can’t today.
the English language. (Although,
they’re still not as bad as, “We need to talk.”) I’m two books and two short
stories, and half a manuscript into a series, and… I can’t? How does the Can’t Gremlin sneak into
so many places? I thought I was
well fortified behind the Walls of Fantasy; girded by the Armor of Gumption; defended
by the Holy Force of Imagination.
And yet… I can’t. Why is it
so hard to get that jerk of a gremlin out of the house? Can’t have an elite
fighting force? You might as well
suggest that a woman can’t write books. The cycle of Can’t can be extremely
hard to break, so when I get too down in the Can’ts, I like to read other
people’s books. There’s nothing
like a good trip through someone else’s imagination to leave the Can’t Gremlin
in the dust. But still, I know
he’s just waiting around the corner to trip me up. Which is why I prefer to visit reality infrequently and for
only brief periods of time. Feel
free to visit me any time, but leave your gremlins at the door – I can’t be
bothered with Can’t today.
Bethany Maines is the author of
the Carrie Mae Mystery series and Tales from the City of Destiny. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube
video or catch up with her on Twitter and
Facebook.
the Carrie Mae Mystery series and Tales from the City of Destiny. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube
video or catch up with her on Twitter and
Facebook.
Hilarious, and yes you can!! For the record, I think it's an awesome premise, and believable too. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if someone has done this, but hello! They're secret! The CIA, MI6, etc, are just the ones we know about, though what they do is pretty secretive. Women are underestimated pretty much worldwide, we look approachable, nice, non-threatening, trustworthy… weak to some people. Someone's gotta be taking advantage of that, beyond individual women who use it all the time! The enemy or mark has a stereotype of women in his head, great! Use it to get close, as your cover, then do whatever you want. Its soooo believable, its been done with individual women in fiction forever, why not a whole secret agency? Why not non-profit funded by a company? It saves them from having to deal with government funding, etc. Its brilliant and I love it! Kill the damn gremlins! – Karen