CHOOSING THE GLASS HALF FULL
by Kay Kendall
Tradition says that when a calendar year draws near its
close, people often describe their feelings about the year that has passed and
the one that looms ahead. 2016 appears likely to be nominated for the dubious
prize of the worst year ever—or at least in recent memory.
Wherever we looked in 2016, there were troubles galore.
The weather was extreme. Global populations were fleeing miserable conditions and
causing disruption in nearby peaceful countries. International relations were
frayed. American presidential politics were extreme.
Finally in the last quarter of this benighted year, I ran
into a personal health scare. This was amplified by the fact that exactly two
years earlier my husband had endured a similar health crisis. After coming down with a pinch of PTSD, in order to keep
myself from plunging into a pit of despair and staying there, I vowed to manage
my own head. It became almost a full-time job, but I did it.
number, let’s say when I was less than 25 years old—I enjoyed experiencing my
strong see-sawing emotions. Mood changes made me feel alive. I loved the wild
feelings of euphoria and actually did not mind a touch of mild despair.
Over time I realized that
being emotional could be overdone. After all, I never yearned to go on the
stage. When I married and raised a
child, I began learning to control my emotions. One emotion I could never
control, however, was dread. Playing the game of What If came naturally to me.
But whenever I got stuck playing that game in my head, the What If questions
always came out with bad answers. Nothing ever came positive.
anxiety disorder and actively sought to control my own head. Reading in psychology
and philosophy enabled me to see that whatever moment you are in is your only
reality. If you are too busy worrying about the future or regretting your past,
then you are not fully alive to the wonders of the present.
One of the habits I’ve
acquired that helps me most is to seek evidence that the glass is always half
full, never half empty. This in turn leads to a feeling of gratitude. I have
had many blessings and much good luck in my life. By emphasizing these things
rather than sorrows or slipups, I have found more joy in my everyday living.
people who handle trials and tribulations with grace and forbearance. Even
though I have dodged the recent health scare with the assistance of fantastic
medical professionals, I know that there will be more ordeals ahead. That is a
fact of life—and of aging.
Often I think of the story I
was told about two boys who were given the task of mucking out stalls filled
with manure. One boy dragged his feet, whining and complaining. The other boy
set to cleaning the stall while he whistled. When asked about his happy
attitude, the second lad explained, “I know there has to be a pony in here
somewhere.”
time these days. I am always looking for the pony.
Her first novel about Austin Starr‘s sleuthing, DESOLATION ROW, was a finalist for best mystery at Killer Nashville in 2014. Visit Kay on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KayKendallAuthor
A wonderful post, Kay! Here's to a bunch of half-full kind of days…
So glad you have been able to get help for your anxiety! May we all keep looking for that pony 😀
Yes, I learned long ago what "self talk" is, but it took me much longer to know how to change it. When my son was sent to Iraq with the US Army the FIRST TIME, I knew that I needed more help. That's when a little anti-anxiety medicine was useful. Life is a learning experience! and exciting, if approached right, even the downs in the ups and downs.