I Swear…

The title of today’s blog is not facetious.  I do swear. 
Kind of a lot.

I try not to in public. 
Much like public displays of affection, I find it inelegant to be
assaulted by profanity that I’m not participating in.  I think keeping a lid on my foul mouthed habit
is only polite and try to reserve it for private situations and friends who
have known me long enough to not take offense. 
As a result, a few of my acquaintances have been surprised to find
themselves on the receiving end of a periodic f-bomb.  (Yes, I’m the person who should receive this paperweight
as a gift.) In the past curbing my tongue has not particularly onerous, but
since my child has moved into speaking and comprehending, you know, actual
words, life as a purveyor of profanity has become more difficult.  Now I can’t even swear in my own home?!  Word swaps and humming the Star Spangled
Banner do not really help.  (Son of a
goat monkey, keeping my swearing on the inside is hard!)

In most of my books, I’ve minimized the swearing to a solid “hell”
or “damn” because well, my grandmother likes to read my books.   But recently, I’ve begun working on a story
that moves my swearing habit to the forefront. 
Rather than really “messing some stuff up”, I am straight  “f***ing some s*** up” for a change.  And ooooh, does it feel good.  Ah profanity, how dost though trip lightly
off my off my keyboard and onto the page?  Very lightly indeed. 

Many comments on profanity seem to insist that profanity is
the crutch of mind unable to think of something else to say.  I completely disagree.  To correctly use profanity one must have an
understanding of language that allows you to use the f-word as a verb, a noun,
and an adjective. (Yes, it really can – see examples here). 

Will my completed manuscript stay chock full of profane
goodness?  I don’t know, but I’m sure as f*** interested to find out.

***

Bethany Maines is the author of the Carrie
Mae Mysteries, Wild Waters, Tales
from the City of Destiny and An
Unseen Current.  You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.