Is it Worth it?
Is it Worth it? by Debra H. Goldstein
Recently, I lost interest in writing. It wasn’t a matter of writer’s block. Plenty of ideas constantly swirl in my head. Those ideas exist right next to my excuses for not writing. The latter include having two new grandchildren and babysitting requests from their parents, medical issues with my husband, the need to play Wordle or solitaire, the promise to blurb a book which meant the book needed to be read, or the desire to simply read a book for pleasure.
Somehow, the excuses took precedence over putting my ideas on paper (or into the computer). The problem, as I diagnosed it, was a case of periodical motivation. The symptoms were simple: the excuses I already mentioned coupled with an almost non-existent urge to sit still and write.
There were limited bursts of writing energy. In fact, three short pieces will be published in 2023. Unfortunately, the energy dissipated quickly. Instead, there were hours of meditating whether writing was important enough to continue doing it. Did the worth of seeing my words on paper outweigh the isolation and time demands actual writing necessitates?
Frustrated, I started listening to a Master Class. An hour into the course (taught by James Patterson), something clicked. Although he was talking about plot, conflict, research, and other mundane writing topics, his words excited me. They shouldn’t have, but they did. That’s when I realized that writing is still a relevant part of me.
I don’t think I’ll ever be a wake up and write a few thousand words a day person, but I firmly believe that whether it is a letter expressing my beliefs on a topic, a short story, or a novel, I am condemned to spend the rest of my life playing with words. Tell me, if you are an author, have you ever undergone a questioning period of time in your life like this? If you are a reader, have you ever second guessed the path you seem to be following in life and concluded that it is where you are supposed to be (or not)?
Debra, I think most, if not all of us, go through these periods. We’re all pulled in multiple directions. Sometimes we can hide away in our writing caves and tune out the world. Other times we can’t. Sometimes we sit in that cave and stare at a blinking curser, unable to focus. Other times the words fly faster than our fingers can keep up. We also arrive at points in our lives where things we once thought of as important no longer seem so. Being of a “certain age,” at this point in my life, I choose to spend as much of my time as possible doing that which makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. So I write. Except when my muse decides to take an unscheduled vacation! 😉
Thanks, Lois. Nice to know others have the same issues at times with the muse.
I think it’s normal to go through periods of doubt, and that’s not just for writers. As an educator, I’m really interested in what James Patterson did in his delivery of information to re-ignite your muse.
From an education standpoint, his presentation (5-13 minute snippets that total 3.5 hrs) cover all aspects of craft, but also gives some insight into his methods. His punch of the topics and sincerity of presentation include motivation without using that word or calling the lessons motivating. He basically takes the craft tools and does much of what Lois (above) and others have said – we write because we must and because the words on the page make a difference to us in the long run.
Debra, I can relate. While I was going through the process of trying to get an agent, I began having serious doubts. Whether I was good enough, whether anyone would ever publish another word I wrote, whether I had it in me. I had to reassess why I wrote in the first place. Taking a break from querying brought back the joy I derive from crafting a novel. I went back to writing before going back to querying. Since then, I’ve been lucky enough to get an agent and get a publishing contract. But I always try to keep in mind why I’m doing it in the first place. I love to write. I’d taken that for granted and forgotten it along the way.
My tough period is just ending, thank goodness. I started writing the third book in my mystery series in 2017 and had the first draft to almost 300 pages before a series of illnesses and deaths took away my ability to write a coherent sentence. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s taken so long, but that book will finally appear this year, fingers crossed.
My fingers are crossed for you, too. May the things that brought it to a stop be in the past and may 2023 be a year of only health, happiness, and prosperity for you and yours.
Debra, thank you. I have a meme that reads, “Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed.” Funny thing about what you’re doing is your muse is talking you through this. You don’t want to quit, else you wouldn’t have taken James Patterson’s Masters class. Our muses are sneaky creations. I love that you’ll be playing with words for the rest of your life. Great blog.