More from BAKE, LOVE, WRITE–advice on love and writing!
By Kay Kendall
The last time I posted here on The Stiletto Gang, I talked about the new cookbook of desserts called BAKE, LOVE, WRITE. I shared the recipe I contributed, called Aunt Martha’s Oatmeal Cake. Now I will also share my contributions for the love & writing parts!
What’s your recipe for a lasting, loving relationship?
Four ingredients make for a lasting,
loving relationship. The four C’s are:
Caring
Commitment
Communication
Conflict resolution.
loving relationship. The four C’s are:
Caring
Commitment
Communication
Conflict resolution.
If your relationship has those elements,
then chances are yours will go the distance. If things feel rocky, then analyze
against those four C’s. Get yourself to a trained therapist if you are having
trouble with conflict resolution, which of course rests on being able to
communicate well.
then chances are yours will go the distance. If things feel rocky, then analyze
against those four C’s. Get yourself to a trained therapist if you are having
trouble with conflict resolution, which of course rests on being able to
communicate well.
Many couples have the first two—caring and commitment—but
founder on the next two. Luckily, with help and persistence, communication and
conflict resolution can be learned. And just because you and your partner talk
all the time does not mean that you are actually communicating. That’s a tricky one.
founder on the next two. Luckily, with help and persistence, communication and
conflict resolution can be learned. And just because you and your partner talk
all the time does not mean that you are actually communicating. That’s a tricky one.
What’s the best writing advice you ever received?
Be persistent and never give up. Most authors I know
make some false starts before they publish their first novels. It may take a
decade to accomplish your goal, but if you burn to write, then do keep at it.
The manuscript for my first novel I cannibalized for my second, so all that
work was not wasted. And my second manuscript became a published book last
year. One male mystery author says that writing
is like an informal game of golf—you get all the mulligans you want. While
you are practicing, take time to learn the craft. The internet provides a
wealth of information.
make some false starts before they publish their first novels. It may take a
decade to accomplish your goal, but if you burn to write, then do keep at it.
The manuscript for my first novel I cannibalized for my second, so all that
work was not wasted. And my second manuscript became a published book last
year. One male mystery author says that writing
is like an informal game of golf—you get all the mulligans you want. While
you are practicing, take time to learn the craft. The internet provides a
wealth of information.
Take writing classes. Attend book signings. Find a
mentor. Participate in a writing group, as I have for many years, but finding
the right fit for yourself is key. Constructive criticism should be the rule,
and if the group or even one member delights in tearing people down, then run
for the hills. Writers’ psyches are fragile, and you want to be around
supportive folks. Also, attend writing conferences. You can learn from them,
but they’re also networking opportunities. All writers should
network—publishing is a relentless business.
mentor. Participate in a writing group, as I have for many years, but finding
the right fit for yourself is key. Constructive criticism should be the rule,
and if the group or even one member delights in tearing people down, then run
for the hills. Writers’ psyches are fragile, and you want to be around
supportive folks. Also, attend writing conferences. You can learn from them,
but they’re also networking opportunities. All writers should
network—publishing is a relentless business.
A dessert cookbook with contributions by 105 authors…Bake, Love, Write is for sale in the major e-book formats at 99 cents and also on Amazon in paperback.
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Kay Kendall set her debut novel, Desolation Row—An Austin Starr Mystery, in 1968 in an anti-war group. The sequel is Rainy Day Women (summer 2015), and this time her amateur sleuth Austin Starr must convince police her best friend didn’t murder women’s liberation activists in Seattle and Vancouver. A fan of historical mysteries, Kay wants to do for the 1960s what novelist Jacqueline Winspear accomplishes for England in the perilous 1930s–write atmospheric mysteries that capture the spirit of the age. Kay is also an award-winning international public relations executive who lives in Texas with her husband, three house rabbits, and spaniel Wills. Terribly allergic to the bunnies, she loves them anyway! Her book titles show she’s a Bob Dylan buff too.
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