Ridding the World of Word Clutter, One Description at a Time

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By Lois Winston

I’ve recently had several requests from authors and publishers to write blurbs for soon-to-be-published books. In addition, I’m currently judging a writing contest for recently published novels. Although all mysteries, these books run the gamut of various sub-genres within mystery, everything from cozies to suspense. Disturbingly, I’m seeing one issue that crops up in many of them: over-writing.

Many years ago, the agent who owned the agency that represented me gave me the best writing advise I’ve ever received. He said that every scene and all dialog in a book must do one of two things—either advance the plot or tell the reader something she needs to know about the POV character AT THAT MOMENT. If the scene or dialog does neither, it’s filler and doesn’t belong in your book.

Filler usually manifests in dialog as chit-chat. In narrative, the culprit is often description. Excessive description is the downfall of many of the books I’m reading. Description done well enhances a story. It gives the reader a deeper understanding of the character and the world she inhabits. However, when not done well, description pulls the reader from the story and drags down pacing. No one wants to read a mystery, suspense, or thriller with pacing that induces sleep, but that’s what I’m finding in too many of these books.

Some authors are of the misguided notion that they need to describe all characters from head to toe every time they appear in a scene. They also believe they need to describe every aspect of the setting, from the color of the curtains on the windows to the knickknacks on the shelves. A well-written book only describes that which is pertinent to the character and the scene.

Adjusting your thinking to view filler as word clutter, enables you to adopt a Marie Kondo attitude toward your writing. Doing so will not only aid your pacing but will allow the words that remain to have greater impact.

Here’s an example I’ve used when giving writing workshops. The following is a paragraph describing a fictitious character:

Joe wore a threadbare navy blue and forest green plaid flannel shirt. Two of the buttons were missing, and one was hanging from a loose thread. His legs were encased in bleach-stained black jeans, torn in some places, patched in others. I glanced down at his feet. The cuffs of his jeans were frayed, and his big toe peeked out from a hole in the top of his scuffed and dirt-caked tan work boots. A ratty, stained camouflage ball cap sat sideways on a head.

And this is a one-sentence description of that character that says the same thing in only five words:

Joe wore Salvation Army rejects.

There is no reason to use eighty-two words to describe something that can be described in five—not to mention, described better. Unless there is something about Joe’s clothing that will have an impact on the plot or one of the other characters, the reader doesn’t need to be pulled from the story by having to focus on such minute details. Less is more.

Do you have a pet peeve about books you’ve been reading lately? Post a comment for a chance to win a promo code for a free audiobook of Handmade Ho-Ho Homicide, the eighth book in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries.

~*~

USA Today and Amazon bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and nonfiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is a former literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Learn more about Lois and her books at her website www.loiswinston.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter and follow her on various social media sites.

The-saga-of-the-thought-stolen-purse/

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Happy Monday!  Because I’m traveling today, I thought I’d leave you with something that ideally will brighten your day.  Note:  My thought-stolen-purse saga happened some years ago, and yes, I’m still married to the guy.  For the record, I didn’t even change the names to protect the innocent.

By Donnell Ann Bell

My day starts out great.  I have Toastmasters at seven-thirty; and at ten till seven, amazed I’m well ahead of schedule, I gather my books, prepared to grab my purse off the counter, which is tucked inconspicuously inside my gray Adidas gym bag.  After Toastmasters, I’m off to the gym.

Only problem is when I scan the counter on this start-to- a-perfect day, my bag is missing.  I can swear I left it right there. Obviously mistaken, I search my usual places—my office, bedroom, the car.  My gray Adidas gym bag is nowhere to be found.

The minutes tick by and I start to sweat.  Now I’ll be late for Toastmasters.  I call my husband at work.  “Have you seen the gray gym bag I left on the counter?”

“No, honey, very busy,” he says.

I hang up on the verge of hyperventilation.  The gym bag in itself doesn’t worry me; it’s my drivers’ license and the valuables inside.  Where can it be?  I know I left it right here.  But now I’m not so sure.  Could I have left it at the gym?  I must have.  I pick up the phone.

woman with lost purse blog

“No, ma’am,” an employee says at my query.  “It’s not in the lost and found and we don’t see it in the locker room, either.”

My great day continues to dwindle.

With no other choice, I search my house a second time, and when I’m positive it isn’t anywhere inside, I phone my husband again. “Les, are you sure, you haven’t seen a gray Adidas gym bag?  I know you’re busy, but it’s really important.  My purse was inside that bag.”

“No,” he replies adamantly.  “I haven’t seen it.”

I scour the house a third time; I miss Toastmasters, becoming more confused and agitated by the second.  I think back.  I came straight home from the gym yesterday.  I made no stops.  And now my poor little ol’ mother in law is in on the action, determined to help. She looks everywhere, including the freezer and the bathtub.

Yep, I’ve been known to put my gym bag in those places!

During our rummaging, I walk into the den and discover a navy gym bag on the couch.  Frowning, I unzip it, discovering my DH’s [dear husband’s] running shoes and his workout clothes inside.  Frankly, I’m ashamed of myself.  I’m jealous that while my gray Adidas bag has gone missing, he still has all of his gear.

All right.  My bag is not in the house, it’s not at the gym, and I went nowhere yesterday.  It’s been stolen.  Time to call the security company that patrols my neighborhood.  The officer reports no calls of intruders, but says a few cars in our area have been broken into.

I call my neighbors, my critique partner and we connect the dots.  While Les and I were out taking a walk last night, someone entered our house.  Thinking it was empty, the intruder became startled when he heard my mother in law. In his haste, he took the closest thing within reach–my gray Adidas gym bag.

I spend the rest of the morning canceling my checks and my credit cards, totally creeped out at the thought of someone invading my home.

When everything is cancelled, I breathe a sigh of relief and tell myself it could have been worse.  At least no one accessed my credit.

Determined to move on from this disastrous morning, I pause to answer the phone.  It’s my husband.  He’s on his way to his run.  He’s calling to inform me he’s taken the wrong gym bag.  You see, his is on the couch, while mine is in the backseat of his car!dead body on a gurney

Before you take undue sympathy and ask if my husband is colorblind, the answer is no.  But he is the victim in my next murder plot.

About the Author:  Donnell Ann Bell writes both romantic suspense and multi-jurisdictional task force plots, keeping close tabs on her theme SUSPENSE TOO CLOSE TO HOME. Black Pearl, a Cold Case Suspense was her first mainstream suspense and was a 2020 Colorado Book Award finalist. Her second book in the series, Until Dead, A Cold Case Suspense was awarded Best Thriller Novel at 2023 Imaginarium Convention in Louisville, KY. Follow her on social media, sign up for her newsletter or follow her blog at https://www.donnellannbell.com

 

 

 

Bethany Maines drinks from an arsenic mug

In Defense of the Day Job

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A Day Job? Really?

I know a lot of writer’s for whom the dream is to ditch the day job and become a Stay-At-Home-Writer.  It would be lovely to be solely supporting myself on my writing. But that’s not financial reality for most writers and I would argue that it shouldn’t be.  I think the day job, while being a pain in the tuchus, also gives something valuable to the writer.

It Keeps Us From Going Feral

First there is the emotional and mental well-being that comes with being forced to rub elbows with the weirdos out there.  Like having kids, having a job, means that we are forced to get along with the wider community. It rubs some of the rough edges off.  Staying home means that we come to live very much in our own bubble in terms of information intake and who we talk to. Finding a wider network of people to interact with is an asset for learning to write more diverse characters who think and speak in different ways.

It Provides Ideas

The second value, I see for having a job is related to information intake.  As a writer, I never know where I’m going to find an idea.  Which can be frustrating if I’m supposed to come up with an idea RIGHT NOW.  However, what I’ve learned over the years, is that ideas exist in every field and it only benefits me to talk to people. An AV owner who travels the state setting up for concerts, conferences, and private parties? Expensive parties and rock bands – how could there not be an idea there?  A conference for estate planners?  Turns out there are about 100 murder plots just littering the tax code if you can manage to stay awake long enough to find them.  The front desk staff at a hotel? Oh, don’t get me started on the amazing slice of humanity that traipse in front of them.  But would I know about any of these ideas without my day job?  No!

So…

So if you’re a writer appreciate your job and if you know a writer then help them out by making them talk to you. Know that you’re only helping that little cardigan wearing introvert out by providing them fodder for a novel and keeping them sane. They’ll thank you for it.  Or kill you off in their next novel. Whichever comes first.

 

**

Bethany Maines is the award-winning author of action-adventure and fantasy tales that focus on women who know when to apply lipstick and when to apply a foot to someone’s hind end. She participates in many activities including swearing, karate, art, and yelling at the news. She can usually be found chasing after her daughter, or glued to the computer working on her next novel (or screenplay). You can also catch up with her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and BookBub.

 

photo holiday gathering

Characters, Holidays, and Changes

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by Sparkle Abbey

Do you love all the holiday books that are coming out? We certainly do!

photo holiday gatheringHalloween, All Saints Day, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and more. From now until the end of the year there are celebrations galore. Families and friends getting together for various festivities. Or not.

We’re working on our new series, the Shady Palms Mysteries, which is set in a 55+ retirement community. And we’re realizing that holiday celebrations change as our characters go through new phases in their lives.

Much like what happens in real life, our characters have experienced various events and turning points: a big move, the loss of a family member, meeting new family or friends, and shifting roles.  Some people feel pressure to maintain tradition and others are better at embracing change. And relationships are complicated. Right? And it doesn’t help that there’s just more stress in general around the holidays. So much stress! Some may love the chaos around a bit group gathering and others may just wish for a quiet celebration at home.

Bread and ornaments

Our characters, MJ and Cass, are working through a lot of life events… as well as solving a murder. (We do write mysteries after all.)  Though these life changes may find them changing up their holiday traditions, we know they’ll get through it. These are some smart and resilient ladies! They may have to let go of some long-established traditions, but they are making new ones. And they’re finding that the thing is – sometimes new traditions can actually honor the past.

So as we head into this busy holiday season, we’re thinking about traditions – old and new – and about how life changes can change our celebrations.

Do you have a favorite holiday tradition? Has it continued through the years or is it new one? Or is it one that has morphed over time? We’d love to hear your favorites and your advice for our characters who are going through changes in their holiday plans.

Ornament with bear holding pencil Sparkle Abbey is actually two people, Mary Lee Ashford and Anita Carter, who write the national best-selling Pampered Pets cozy mystery series. They are friends as well as neighbors so they often get together and plot ways to commit murder. (But don’t tell the other neighbors.)

 

They love to hear from readers and can be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, their favorite social media sites. Also, if you want to make sure you get updates, sign up for their newsletter via the SparkleAbbey.com website

 

I Am A Published Author by Dru Ann Love

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This is a short post while I recover from my recent surgery. It’s hard to sit at a desk when you can’t bend your knee or if you do “ouch.”

Read more

Reflections on the Passing of Time

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Reflections on the Passing of Time by Debra H. Goldstein

Despite the temperatures being in the high 80’s and 90’s for the past few weeks, we’ve had just enough of a temperature drop that the leaves are beginning to change colors. It’s a sign of Autumn. The calendar even says Fall has begun. The big tell is that the grocery stores already are prominently displaying Halloween candies.

Personally, I don’t know where the summer went. It feels like I just pulled my white pants from the back of my closet and now it’s time to push them to the back again.

When I was a child, I remember being sent outside to play (I preferred staying inside and reading) and counting the minutes until I could go in again. Time moved so slowly. Yet, one day I woke up and it started whizzing by. For the first time, as this summer has flown by and I see changes in my husband, me, our children, grandchildren, and friends, I’m beginning to think of time as precious – and maybe going by a little too quickly.

Do you ever have thoughts like that?

How the World Turns

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by Gay Yellen

Originally, I had planned this post to be all about what led up to the new release of my third book in The Samantha Newman Series. In it, I was going to detail the trials and tribulations that interfered with my ability to finish the story over the past five years, and to offer a free book at the end.

That post was titled “What a Writer Fears.” But with fresh horror happening in the Middle East, this novelist’s writerly problems seem too trivial to consider. Instead of a blow by blow account of the circumstances that held the book back, I’ll just say that for months and months and months, I struggled to create a coherent sentence, let alone a paragraph and chapter.

In short, I feared I would never be able to write again.

Sometimes, moving forward requires taking a step back. Frustrated as I felt, I couldn’t abandon Samantha any more than she could escape her crazy, mixed-up existence—especially when she was about to save another lost soul from ruin and learn an important life lesson along the way.

And so, with the encouragement of my precious fans, and the support of Stiletto sisters Lois Winston and Saralyn Richard, and writer friends Patty Flaherty Pagan and Pamela Fagan Hutchins, Book #3, The Body in the News is now available in ebook and print.

Like the first two books in the series, I wrote the new book to entertain readers, and hopefully, to inform and inspire. I hope it offers a few hours of escape from the messy, scary times we live in.

Life goes on for us lucky ones.

And so—in honor of the debut of Book #3—I am offering the one that started it all: The Body Business, Book #1 in the series, FREE today only. If you haven’t read it, grab it now to follow Samantha as she survives, undaunted, book by book.

May peace reign everywhere in the world. Until then, may we find comfort in books, and joy wherever we can find it.

The Samantha Newman Mystery Series

 

 

A Hobbit House!

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The mountainous terrain of northern New Mexico, where my husband and I spend our summers, makes me aware of J.R.R. Tolkien’s clever way of segmenting Middle Earth into various regions. I’ve let my imagination fly thinking that he set up different regions, and their diverse inhabitants, by using mountain ranges and valleys to map out Middle Earth. With New Mexico’s diverse cultural heritage, I can imagine that Tolkien’s elves, dwarves, men, hobbits, ents, orcs, and trolls might have been created, each group with their unique characteristics, by studying various cultures and then adding a good measure of fantasy.

Of course, Tolkien was British, not New Mexican, and he was probably inspired by the various European cultures and terrain. Middle Earth, the main continent in his fictional fantasy, was set in a period more than six thousand years ago – so adding fantasy to the saga was essential.

Fascinated by Tolkien’s imagination, I let my own inspiration wander through the mountains and the cultures of New Mexico and surmised that a creative mind can entangle extraordinary stories set in the Land of Enchantment. Especially if the stories are set in the ancient past or centuries in the future!

Back to the present: This summer, a good friend invited me to see a ‘unique’ house. I never envisioned I would be dropped into Middle Earth to experience a hobbit house. Little did my friend know that I love Tolkien’s The Hobbit, the prequel to Lord of the Rings, where the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, is hired by the wizard Gandolf to reclaim the treasure from the dragon Smaug.

The house we visited is known in its neighborhood as The Hobbit House. Even more fascinating is the fact that the owners built their Middle Earth abode using materials taken from the land where they were building.

Their daughter, an architect, prepared the blueprints. She assisted in tree cutting, testing the clay content in the soil, and manufacturing the adobe bricks and puddled adobe used in the construction. As you can see from the exterior and interior photos, they constructed a wonderful home. Imagine building your own and creating such a beauty!

***

Credits: All photos by Kathryn Lane

About Kathryn:

Kathryn Lane writes mystery and suspense novels usually set in foreign countries. In her award-winning Nikki Garcia Mystery Series, her protagonist is a private investigator based in Miami. Her latest publication is a coming-of-age novel, Stolen Diary, about a socially awkward math genius.

For her writing, Kathryn draws inspiration from her travels in over ninety countries as well as her life in Mexico, Australia, Argentina, and the United States.

She also dabbles in poetry, an activity she pursues during snippets of creative renewal. In the summer and fall, Kathryn and her husband, Bob Hurt, escape to the mountains of northern New Mexico where she finds inspiration for her writing.

Personal website kathryn-lane.com

Latest novel: Stolen Diary – a coming-of-age mystery.

Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BSHFRD11

Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Stolen-Diary-Kathryn-Lane/dp/1735463833/

 

Process Delayed Can Still be Progress…of a Sort

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By Lois Winston

I’m not someone who immediately jumps into the next book as soon as I finish writing the previous one. My latest Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery, A Crafty Collage of Crime, released on June 6th. Other than promotional blog posts, I haven’t written anything Anastasia-related since then. Haven’t even given much thought to the next book beyond the fact that I know I’ll be picking up Anastasia’s story shortly after the recent book ended.

It’s not that I’m tired of writing about my reluctant sleuth or have no ideas. It’s more about a process I’ve found that works best for me. After a book goes off into the world, I devote the next month or so to promotion. Once the flurry of promotion wanes, I give myself permission to clear my head before once again hitting the keyboard in earnest. We all have our process, and I’ve discovered over the years that this keeps me from burning out or developing terminal writer’s block. We all need the occasional vacay, even if it’s only a vacay from the keyboard.

With that in mind, I had set a schedule to start in on serious pondering, mulling, and research the week of August 21st, the day after the Killer Nashville writers’ conference ended. I’d plant butt in chair and fingers on keyboard in earnest September 5th, the day after Labor Day.

Of course, I didn’t factor into testing positive for Covid shortly after Killer Nashville ended. And I certainly didn’t factor in the far from mild case of Covid that broadsided me and still continues haunting me with lingering symptoms. I haven’t felt this tired since suffering through mono when I was nineteen or dealing with an infant who exited the womb never needing to sleep—ever!

About the only things I’ve been able to accomplish when not napping are watching TV and reading, more of the latter than the former, thanks to the writers’ strike and the absence of many of my favorite shows. For someone who has never been a napper, I’m beginning to suspect I harbor some cat DNA. Don’t they sleep about seventeen hours a day?

At least during my daily seven hours of wakefulness, I was able to make a decent dent in my overflowing Kindle virtual TBR pile. For someone used to juggling multiple balls, if nothing else, I’ve achieved a small sense of accomplishment during my illness and recovery.

Not every book I read is worth mentioning. Several fell way short of expectations. However, there were two books that I thoroughly enjoyed: The Book Woman’s Daughter, the follow-up to Kim Michele Rchardson’s The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek, and Kopp Sisters on the March, book 5 in Amy Stewart’s Kopp Sisters series. However, if you’ve enjoyed the other Kopp Sisters books, be forewarned that this book is a bit of a departure from the previous books in the series. Although labeled as a mystery, the mystery element is a minor subplot.

One of the perks of being a published author is getting to read some books before they hit bookstore shelves. I had the absolute pleasure of losing myself in advance reading copies of two books that I highly recommend. If you enjoy women’s fiction, you won’t want to miss the recently released Picture Perfect Autumn by Shelley Noble. It truly is a picture-perfect novel.

If romantic amateur sleuth mysteries are more your speed, you’ll want to read The Body in the News, the third installment in the Samantha Newman Mysteries by The Stiletto Gang’s own Gay Yellen. I was hooked on this series after reading the first book. When I finished this newest addition, I wanted to pick up the fourth book right away. I hope Gay is a fast writer!

What about you? Read any good books lately? Post a comment for a chance to win a promo code for a free download of the audiobook version of Scrapbook of Mystery, the sixth Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery.

~*~

USA Today and Amazon bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and nonfiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is a former literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Learn more about Lois and her books at her website www.loiswinston.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter and follow her on various social media sites.

Woman of the Year

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Woman of the Year

By Saralyn Richard

 

I found out in April that the Galveston Regional Chamber of Commerce would be celebrating me as a Woman of the Year for 2023. The announcement, broadcast live on social media, came as a total surprise—overwhelming to this day. The honor entails participating in an all-day video production, inviting family and friends to accompany you to the Women’s Conference (held on September 15), going up on the stage in front of 1500 people to receive the award, and lots more.

As an educator, I always considered myself a star-maker, rather than a star. I revel when my students receive accolades or limelight, but I’m not all that comfortable receiving them, myself. I’ve struggled with the idea of whether I’m worthy of all this attention.

Over the past four months I’ve given a lot of thought to this and similar issues, and I’ll tell you what I’ve concluded. But first, some background. I was born and raised in Galveston. After college and marriage, I moved to St. Louis and Chicago, where I practiced my profession and learned a lot about life. One of the things I always preached to my students was to give back to the communities that they came from. I poured a lot of time and effort and care into the communities where I worked, but, in the back of my mind, I thought, what about Galveston?

When my husband and I were exploring possible places to live in the future, Galveston called to me. I wanted to be part of the community where I grew up. I wanted to volunteer in ways that would make a difference. Fortunately, everything aligned to make that happen, and we moved here in 2005. Since then, I’ve had interesting jobs, met fascinating people, and volunteered here and there in places that stole my heart. I never expected to be recognized—I was happy contributing to my community.

So that brings me to the Woman of the Year award, for which I am eternally grateful and a little uncomfortable accepting. My ruminations, though, have led me to believe that the award creates a valuable opportunity for reflection and evaluation. It has caused me to embrace all that is precious in the way I spend my time, and it’s given me motivation to recommit to my goals and mission, to live up to the standard of those who were honored before me, and to set an example for those who follow.

I also believe there aren’t enough awards given to worthy women. There are so many wonderful angels who give freely of their time and energy to help others. If you are reading this, you are probably one of them. So I want to share my award with you, Woman of the Year. If we all set our sights on making a difference, we can really change the world.

Award-winning mystery and children’s book author, and BOI (born on island), Saralyn Richard, is also an educator whose journey has taken her to schools in St. Louis, Chicago, and all over the country. Her books, Naughty Nana, Murder in the One Percent, A Palette for Love and Murder, Crystal Blue Murder, Bad Blood Sisters, and A Murder of Principal, have garnered many awards, reviews, and fans.

Saralyn and her husband Ed moved back to Galveston in 2005 with the express intent of serving the community by working and volunteering with various meaningful organizations. Saralyn worked for the Galveston Independent School District, the Southern Regional Education Board, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, The Friends of the Rosenberg Library, The Grand 1894 Opera House, and others.

Years ago, Saralyn was a founding member of the Book Nook committee of the Galveston Regional Chamber of Commerce Women’s Conference. The Book Nook is a group of authors who are strategically selected each year to provide mentorship and support for other women who aspire to write and publish books.