My Take on What’s Going On at Home and Abroad

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The reason I put the cover of my latest book, Angel Lost, up today is because I like it and it makes me happy to look at.

What doesn’t make me happy is all the scary stuff going on all around the world with the Japan earthquake and tsunami being at the top of the list right now–but who knows what will be next? My heart goes out to the Japanese people. What’s happening over there is far worse than any horror movie or story. Who would believe an earthquake of such magnitude followed by tsunmai traveling 500 miles and hour? Nuclear reactors exploding and now a volcano erupting, it’s all too much to even grasp.

I’m not even going to get into the wars and rumors of wars.

What I’m going to write about next seems petty to all of the above.

I’ll move onto something far smaller-daylight savings time. I’m an early riser and I’m not thrilled with it being so dark for so long in the morning. I know that I’ll get used to it and as summer approaches it will get light earlier.

Last week I had a couple of disappointments. The big one was the cancellation of Mayhem in the Midlands. This is a convention I eagerly await each year. Because hubby and I are getting older I was wondering how many more we’d get to attend with flying getting more difficult each year. Now, it seems, we may have already gone to the last one. It’s like finding out a family reunion has been canceled. I’m not going to see any of the wonderful friends that I’ve made over the years at Mayhem, nor will I be able to share wonderful meals with them at the various ethnic restaurants in Omaha.

So as not to lose the money completely I’d lost on the non-refundable ticket (the trip insurance I bought didn’t cover the cancellation of an event) I decided we should go to Killer Nashville. I registered for both of us (this is a non-refundable fee) then called the airline to buy the airline tickets. To make a long and very frustrating story short, the new tickets, even deducting the old ones, are twice as much as the first pair.

A two day event I was going to attend for the second time (the Jane Austen Fest) was canceled and I might not have even found about it if I hadn’t run into one of the organizers and told her I’d see her in a few weeks. Fortunately, I did get the money back for that one, and the hotel I planned to stay in for two nights cancelled my reservation without a fuss.

I then signed up for a one day event right here in my home town, certainly not nearly as elegant and you can see that by the name, The 50th Jackass Mail Run. It cost 1/4 what the Jane Austen Fest. It’s outdoors which means putting up a tent, hauling table and chairs and my books–but what the heck, it’s close by, I won’t have to pay for a motel room.

My problems seem pitifully small compared to all the global happenings, but they are problems I can deal with.

And on the positive side, the reviews for Angel Lost are beginning to come in and so far have all been great.

Marilyn

Tsunamis of all Kinds

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Tsunamis, Nuclear Meltdowns, Earthquakes, Grassfires, Union Busters, Protesters, Crazy Dictators, Crazy Actors, Crazy Politicians ….

And that was just last week.

In between crises (Or is that crisi? What’s the plural of crisis? Cause we don’t just have one crisis at a time anymore.) Anyway, in between, I did my income taxes (I’m officially getting $5 back from Uncle Sam), held a public meeting on new regulations for my day job, published a new Evelyn David ebook to multiple on-line platforms, and worried about Oklahoma’s state budget and how the current crop of legislators are going to try to make the numbers work. One of the proposed ways (being debated today) will cripple the agency I work for in ways too many to count. None of the proposals will save money. But, hey, sometimes a press release on consolidating agencies is all a politician can hope for. Real solutions take time, research and require reconciling facts with aspirations. Not something the average state politician wants to tackle. And I’m not even going to mention all the new federal environmental policies being forced down the states’ throats. No time to make new laws, just change the policies, and try to enforce those like laws until the courts kick them back. Maybe it’s not just state politicians who don’t have time to do it right.

But leaving my personal “crisi” aside, I feel so bad for the Japanese people. Evelyn David has a slight connection to Japan. Our first book, Murder Off the Books was published there in a Japanese edition and we’ve nothing but good things to say about our experience with the Japanese publisher and agent. We wish them and the Japanese people well during their recovery from the earthquake and tsunami.

I hope this week is better than the last one. I don’t know about everyone else, but my world has gotten just a little too frantic.

If you want to escape, try our new e-book, Love Lessons. Eleven romantic short stories guaranteed to make you smile.

We also have a new cover for our 4th Brianna Sullivan mystery. Undying Love in Lottawatah now features a minor character on the cover – Leon the bulldog. He was such a hit, that we’ve had to give him a full time gig. Look for him in the upcoming, A Haunting in Lottawatah.

Rhonda
aka The Southern Half of Evelyn David

*****
Brianna Sullivan Mysteries – e-book series
I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries– Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Dog Days of Summer in Lottawatah– Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Holiday Spirit(s) of Lottawatah– Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
Undying Love in Lottawatah– Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

The Sullivan Investigation Series
Murder Drops the Ball (Spring 2011)
Murder Takes the Cake– Paperback – Kindle
Murder Off the Books– Paperback – Kindle
Riley Come Home (short story)- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

Romantic Short Story Collections
Love Lessons – Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

Why Don’t I Write about Sex?

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by Ellery Adams.

Why don’t I?

Because I’m no good at it.

Wait, that came out wrong.

When I began writing mysteries, I focused on the puzzle first. I’ve always been a bit of a jigsaw puzzle geek and now I even do cryptograms when I’m waiting a long time (at the doctor’s office, for example. Why do we make appointments just to sit for thirty-forty minutes anyway? They should just hand out numbers like they do at the deli counter).

Next up, I turned my attention to the characters. From that point, the setting came into play. I steered away from romantic entanglements because I could never write them as well as the other stuff.

Now, with my Books By the Bay mysteries, I start with the characters and they drag me by the hair, this way and that, in true caveman style until the book unfolds like a rose. Thus far, none of them have shown an interest in getting naked. Great. I get down to the other elements and don’t have any R-rated sex scenes to worry about.

My heroine, Olivia Limoges, is a haunted, cynical, independent heiress who refuses to be swept off her feet by anyone. What a relief! Still, I can’t leave her on the shelf forever. I mean, the woman’s got needs. I can do a closed-door fling with the charismatic bookstore owner for now, but eventually, the man the readers sense Olivia belongs with is going to do something so heroic that she’ll have to defrost long enough to well, disrobe.

But not yet. I can hold off for another book. Because when that scene happens, it has to be right. It’s Olivia’s first time, after all. At least, it’s her first time being put on display by me.

This moment has to be as deftly executed as the clues woven into the plot. She has to be ready. I have to be ready. How much do you want to see in your mystery? Tell the truth now. Do you want your couples to go inside and shut the door? Or do you want to peek through the keyhole?

*Feel free to stop by my website. I am giving away a 3G Kindle on March 8th to celebrate the release of A Deadly Cliché and it’s not too late to enter the contest! Thanks for having me, ladies!

One Writer’s Story

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–Leann Sweeney

First, thanks to the Stiletto Gang for inviting me to stop by. My new release in the Cats in Trouble Mystery Series, The Cat, The Lady and The Liar, will be released April 5th.

Every book is like one of my children, each with its own personality, each connected to events in my life—some events good, some bad, some truly terrible, some absolutely wonderful.

The first book an author publishes is always different, and like a first child, seems like a miracle. How did this ever happen? I remember thinking. Holding a “real book,” as my husband likes to say, with my words between the pages, was something almost as memorable as the day my son came into the world. Almost.

My real life kids had weddings within about a year and a half of each other, and in between, I wrote … wait for it … A Wedding to Die For. No surprise I felt like I could have actually murdered someone during that time. To be honest, I think it was the funniest book I’ve written. Truly a happy time, if not stressful.

But life doesn’t always treat you kind, and after I turned in my third book, the notes back from my editor started out with something like, “This book is so sad. You have to make it funnier.” I’d been diagnosed with Lyme, so yes, the sadness was there. And perhaps fear as well, fear that the illness would cost me my dream job—mystery writer. My editor is quite good at reading the subtext, and at that point the subtext was pretty heavy. I worked hard to make that book better and to this day, it is one of my favorites.

After writing eight books, I’ve pushed through the arrival of grandkids, Lyme relapses, a terrible reaction to a simple surgery that nearly killed me, having to take early retirement from my day job because of my illness and so much more. How can those events not seep into the pages? They do, of course, and in unexpected ways.

When my editor asked me to write a new series with cats front and center, I was excited. But unless I could write two books a year, I had to say goodbye to Abby Rose, of my Yellow Rose series, at least for a while. That affected me more than I ever expected. See, I don’t have the stamina to write two books a year. Abby’s a part of me and it was like I left town and bought a new house somewhere far away. I still miss her … and one day I am sure she will visit me and everyone else again.

That tiny bit of grief over “losing” Abby, filtered into the first cat mystery without me even realizing it. More notes from my editor about a “sad book.” I sure had to examine the novel– and myself. My editor was right, of course. Then I faced the biggest rewrite ever. That sure wasn’t fun! But in the end, I have grown to love my new story people. Creating a town from pure imagination was literally and figuratively new territory. The Yellow Rose books are set in Houston and the landscape was already there for me to explore. I thought it would be easy to create fictional Mercy, South Carolina. Not really. But the cats—Merlot, Chablis and Syrah—came with their personalities already set. It seemed magical, really.

So there you have a tiny bit of my story, and I’ll bet every Stiletto Gang writer has their own journey—different and yet the same. But one thing we all have in common—we were all readers first. We are readers, just like you.

Leann Sweeney is the author of five Yellow Rose Mysteries and the Cats in Trouble Mysteries, with book three in the series due out next month. She lives in Texas with her husband, her three cats and the mini-labradoodle who thinks she’s a cat.

Of Spring and Things…

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I’ve been mulling over what I was going to write about today and I came to one conclusion: not Charlie Sheen.

Haven’t we all seen enough of this most public of implosions? I, for one, continue to wonder where his parents, siblings, friends, and yes, even exes, are in this mix. Can’t someone forcibly commit this man if not for his own well being then for the sake of his five children? The whole thing is really sickening.

Rant over.

Let’s focus on the positive. For one thing, spring is on the way to the East Coast. Yes, the weather people say that we may get a big dump of snow on Thursday, but the best thing about March storms is that if they come, they are over quickly and the snow melts within days, if not hours. After having a snow drift on our front lawn that was close to five feet high, we can now see our grass. It’s a little worse for wear, but it can be saved with a little grass seed and a little love. The next thing we’ll look forward to is seeing buds on the trees which will signal that the winter of 2010-2011 is a thing of the past.

With spring comes one of my favorite traditions in the village in which I live: the outdoor farmer’s market. Of course, we do have indoor markets but they just don’t feel the way an outdoor market feels. In a few short weeks, within walking distance of my house, I will have fresh vegetables, pies, breads, cakes, and quiches available to me, all made by local growers and producers, all within a fifty-mile radius of my house. Sometimes, a local vineyard will come and sell wine which makes the farmer’s market a one-stop shopping expedition for this vegetable lover and oenophile.

Another wonderful spring tradition is Little League. Child #2 is still of an age where he can play on the “Majors,” which is essentially a group of boys (and some girls) between the ages of 9 and 12. The “Majors” have their games on the field smack dab in the middle of town, complete with bleachers and lights—when they’re working—to illuminate the field when the sun has set on an early spring night. We can walk through town and get pizza on the way home and if we’re feeling virtuous about our exercise for that day, ice cream. Sitting in the outfield for our last year of Majors is bittersweet and I’m going to savor every yawn-inducing game just so I never forget the sight of my son in permanently stained, formerly white baseball pants, his hat cocked to the side, trying to catch mosquitoes in the outfield.

We also have a new season of Mets’ baseball to look forward to, but if history has shown us anything, it’s that we should gird our loins for disappointment.

As a writer who works from home—but not in her pajamas as some often assume—I spend a lot of time indoors. Seasonal affective disorder is always around the corner on a dreary day and I think most of us who work from home have a nodding acquaintance with it. So, to see the sun at hours it hasn’t been seen in the past few months is a mood elevator better than any drug and to think of fresh peaches, wine from the Hudson Valley, and Little League baseball at just days away, I, for one, have quite a spring in my step. Pun intended.

What do you look forward to come spring, Stiletto faithful?

Maggie Barbieri

And Off We Went

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A very good friend of mine who now lives in Arizona (and is 80 plus) planned her next book tour for California. She had it all worked out, mainly hitting all the California Writers Clubs in the middle of the state beginning with Ridgewriters who are located in the high desert town of Ridgecrest. Inyokern and Trona are the only two other town anywhere around–bet you never heard of them either.

Ridgecrest is the home of the China Lake Naval Air Station–the home of many jet fighters, a battalion of Seabees along with all the Navy pilots and everyone who is there to maintain the base and the operations including many engineers. Oh, and as my husband always reminds me, a contingent of Marines for security.

Besides the families of all these people, a lot of retirees make their home in Ridgecrest, including those who retired from jobs on the NAS.

Somehow while my friend and the program chair of Ridgewriters were making their plans for the appearance, the dates got messed up. Ridgewriters expected my friend last Wednesday and she thought she was supposed to come this Wednesday.

At the last minute my friend asked if I could possible step in for her–and I said yes. (As it turned out, she’ll be going tomorrow anyway–they are going to have two meetings this month, but they’d already publicized this first meeting.)

The drive to Ridgecrest takes about 3 plus hours (we always make a couple of stops on the way) but it’s an easy drive with good roads and not much traffic–and great scenery. To get there we first must drive through the Tehachapi mountains (the home of the wonderfully engineered Tehachapi Loop where freight trains go round and round a large hill and the front end passes the back end–really fun to watch) and then we head out over the desert. There are abandoned houses, lots of Joshua trees and sage brush, sandy vistas that go on and on ending at mountains on either sides, and for a short while, a gorgeous vista of colorful cliffs.

Once we arrived in Ridgecrest, Mrs. Magellan guided us to our hotel which was a bit off the main road. Called Heritage Inn it had the grandeur of hotels from an earlier age with a huge lobby with comfortable chairs and couches and a wide, sweeping staircase to the second floor. Our room was large, nicely appointed and clean.

Next we asked Mrs. Magellan to take us to the restaurant where we were to meet some of the members of Ridgewriters for dinner. (We rely on Mrs. Magellan a lot–we no longer use Mapquest or even maps and we no longer argue about which way we should go.)

This is my fourth visit with this group which now meets in a retirement home, an upscale and extremely nice one. Only about 12 people showed up (obviously the word had gotten out that I was the replacement) and a couple of those were people who lived in the facility. My talk was about blogging and blog tours and those who came were quite interested in the topic and asked great questions.

Two of the attendees were young people (the rest were not) and I think they knew most of what I had to say, though the young man took lots of notes. Afterwards he told me that the last time I’d come had given him the incentive to keep on writing and he’s since been published. That made the whole trip worthwhile.

And yes, I sold books–only 6, but that’s pretty good when you think about how few people were there.

I truly like this group, the drive is enjoyable and I was happy to help out.

The hotel was the quietest I’ve ever slept in. Breakfast was free and you ordered off the menu in the restaurant of the hotel.

So all in all, it was a good time all around. I’ll go there again if they ask.

Marilyn
http://fictionforyou.com

How to Succeed in Business

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The truth is he can’t sing particularly well; he’s a so-so dancer; his comic timing is off; and as an aside, I had no idea he was that short.

So why did I leap to my feet at the end of the show to give Daniel Radcliffe and the cast of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying a standing ovation? Because the finale was a show-stopper and most of all, because I was in awe of the risk this 21-year-old kid had taken.

Sure it’s easy to try something different and risk failure when you’re a gazillionaire, but this was putting himself “out there” in a very public way and nobody, not even gazillionaires, likes bad reviews.

After seven, going on eight, Harry Potter movies, the chance of being typecast is basically a sure thing. But in the last 18 months, Daniel Radcliffe has deliberately chosen to project a new image and expose himself literally in Equus, as well as figuratively. He made a conscious decision to reinvent the public persona that his role in the blockbuster movies has made.

All of which gave this author pause. It’s easy, as you age, to become risk averse. Stick to what you know and what you know will sell.

Write a successful cozy. Write another one.

Heck, even simpler. Serve a recipe that’s worked for the past 20 years – and never bother to change the menu. Jalapeno peppers? Never bought one. Have no clue what I would do if I did.

But there I was, in the darkened Al Hirschfeld Theater, just steps from the gleaming lights of Broadway, and I pondered, for a change, not How to Succeed in the mystery business, but how to shake things up and change on a bigger, pardon the pun, stage.

As Goethe told us: “The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.”

I’ve been in a comfort zone when it comes to writing. It’s time to take some risk. I made a start when Rhonda convinced me to write the Brianna Sullivan series. I didn’t like, to be honest was afraid of, the paranormal. But exploring the world of ghosts has made the world of the living all the more exciting and fun. Next up is a series of short stories about love and romance. Should be published in e-book formats in the next week. If they sell, wonderful. If they don’t, I have no regrets. I tried.

And that’s how it should be. The point is not whether Daniel Radcliffe or I succeed. What’s important is that we walked out there and risked failure. As T.S. Eliot wrote, “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”

Marian, in search of Jalapeno Pepper for dinner

Brianna Sullivan Mysteries – e-book series
I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Dog Days of Summer in Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Holiday Spirit(s) of Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
Undying Love in Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

The Sullivan Investigation Series
Murder Drops the Ball (Spring 2011)
Murder Takes the Cake- Paperback – Kindle
Murder Off the Books- Paperback – Kindle
Riley Come Home (short story)- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

Romances
Love Lessons – Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

News of the Weird

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by Susan McBride

I remember when weird news was often tacked onto the end of a nightly broadcast, usually in the vein of “stupid criminals” clips where a bank robber wrote his stick-up note on the back of his own deposit slip or an “aw, shucks” tale with an orangutan adopting a baby tiger at the local zoo. You know what I mean.

Now every time I turn on the TV or click on an Internet newspaper, it doesn’t take much searching to find news of the absurd. It’s front page headlines. Journalism has turned into “Entertainment Tonight,” and that’s not a good thing.

So far this week, all I’ve seen is Charlie Sheen’s face everywhere, professing his fabulousness, when it’s pretty clear he’s got problems even bigger than his ego. I saw an article that said a lot of stars who got in trouble this past week owe Charlie a big favor for keeping them off the cover of People magazine. Like Christina Aguilera who ended up in the drunk tank with her boyfriend after a bender. And Galliano, the Dior designer (er, ex-Dior designer) who made more than a few anti-Semitic remarks caught on someone’s cell phone camera. I don’t even know what Mel Gibson’s up to lately because Charlie’s superseded his baby-mama drama by a mile.

Oh, yeah, and there are revolutions galore going on in the Middle East. And we’re still in a recession with all sides of the political aisle at war because everyone seems intent on helping themselves instead of fixing things.

But, oh, no, let’s hear more about Charlie and his “goddesses” aka the porn stars who live in his house with him and help him “take care” of his twin boys. Oops, nix that. His almost ex-wife (whom he was accused of threatening to kill) has gotten the kids back, thanks to a court order and the LAPD. Wow, I just can’t keep up with all the Sheen-anigans! It feels like an A&E “Intervention” marathon without an ending.

I just wish someone would please stop the madness. Why does the media keep having this guy on when it’s clear he needs serious help? I’m not sure how his delusions and obvious self-destruction constitute entertainment.

Then I think about the dystopian young adult best-seller THE HUNGER GAMES, which features teens killing each other all in the name of sport. I hope we never sink that low, but it does seem like we’re turning people’s misery into live entertainment, and it’s even worse than “Jersey Shore” and “The Bachelor” combined.

As a J-School major, I’m disappointed at what counts for news these days. Walter Cronkite must be turning over in his grave. Give me stories that matter: about regular hard-working people who are making a difference, small businesses that are thriving despite the financial mess, research scientists working on cures for disease, and explorers unearthing new species or stars. And not the kind of “stars” that seem to rule television and the Internet ad nauseum. Those I can live without.

High Heels & Me

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Meredith Cole

I have a confession to make. I can’t wear stilettos. Hmm. I hope this admission won’t get kicked off the blog today. Perhaps it will help if I say that my sleuth in POSED FOR MURDER and DEAD IN THE WATER wears heels? I’ve tried to wear high heels, but I always feel like I’m walking on stilts. I’ve seen women who strut around in their heels looking sexy and strong. Unfortunately I just wobble along, and fifteen minutes into the evening ache all over.

Living in New York, an uncomfortable pair of shoes could absolutely ruin my entire day (or week, if they ripped up my feet enough). Walking absolutely everywhere on hard and unforgiving pavement, it was comfortable shoes all the way. Stilettos were, my friends and I fondly liked to say, “taking a taxi shoes.” I don’t think the women in Sex in the City ever tried to run for an N train in their sexy stilettos. They would have ended up with one of those shoes stuck in a grate and a sprained ankle – or worse.

My contentious relationship with heels began when I grew to be five foot four in the 5th grade. All the boys were six inches shorter. So my first pair of heels was just ½” high. I still felt like I was towering over everyone. I grew to be 5’8” but I frequently have people ask (or assume) that I’m taller. Good posture, I guess. It’s certainly not because I wear heels.

Occasionally when I go to speak to a group that’s read my book, I get a funny look. I usually have a good idea why. They’re expecting me to be a twenty-something, funkily dressed artist—just like my sleuth. But Lydia McKenzie and I are pretty different people. She’s young and single, and I’m married and have a child. She lives in Brooklyn, and I’ve moved back home to Virginia. She’s a photographer, and I’m a filmmaker turned novelist. And Lydia always wears crazy vintage clothes.

I’m not a dull dresser at all. I enjoy clothes, and love to shop at second hand stores. I love fabrics and color, and putting on outfits in the morning. But I like to be comfortable, too. There has to be an inner beauty that shines through when your toes can breathe, your arches are supported, and you don’t feel like you’re going to sprain your ankle when you take a step. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

So will Lydia ever learn to tone down her clothes? She’s a fictional sleuth, so she can walk on the wild side. She’s looking for murderers with her camera, stumbling over dead bodies, and running for her life, so wearing heels seems pretty safe in comparison. Besides, she can always kick them off now and then and give her feet a rest. That’s what I would do.

______________________
Meredith Cole started her career as a screenwriter and filmmaker. She was the winner of the St. Martin’s Press/Malice Domestic competition, and her book POSED FOR MURDER, was published by St. Martin’s Minotaur in 2009. She was nominated for an Agatha Award for Best First Mystery Novel in 2010. Her second book, DEAD IN THE WATER, continues the adventures of photographer and amateur sleuth Lydia McKenzie in Brooklyn. She teaches writing at the University of Virginia. Visit her website here

The Power of Positive Thinking

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There is new research out that suggests that a) positive thinking really does have an effect on your life in general and b) being nicer to yourself—showing “self-compassion”—is really integral to a happy life.

Great. Something else to feel bad/guilty/unworthy about.

I found out about the New York Times article on self-compassion from the northern half of Evelyn David right after I had seen the report on “Good Morning, America,” about positive thinking. Apparently, by being self-compassionate, your diet and weight loss program will be more successful, and more importantly, you may have less stress, depression, anxiety and gain “more happiness and life satisfaction.”

I guess all of this news should make me happy as I consider myself a “glass is half full” kind of person but it just makes me worry. What if I’m not positive enough, not compassionate enough to myself, to keep things like stress, depression, and anxiety at bay? Does that make me a failure as a positive thinker? Do I need to work harder? Will I make myself sick because sometimes I let negativity get the best of me?

See where I’m going here? It’s kind of like when someone tells me to “relax!” Instead of calming down, it’s like some kind of caged animal has been released into the world. It’s the antithesis of relaxing.

Some of the research on positive thinking points to someone being “wired” a specific way, a way in which no matter how hard they try, their outlook will always veer toward the negative. To me, then, all of this new research begs the question: are we trying too hard to be what we’re not? How much stress are we adding to our lives by thinking about our personal mindsets and that we may be failing at the one thing we are born doing—thinking?

Curiously, there is no research on that, but I think some lip service needs to be paid to feeling what you feel when you’re feeling it. I come to this conclusion from having spent five years of my life pretending everything was just FINE! even though I was undergoing a very debilitating cancer treatment while working full time, writing, and being a mom and wife. I found that while pretending that everything was FINE! was great for everyone around me, it was not so great for me, because it masked the fear and sometimes hopelessness I had in my own heart while everyone around me felt great. The downward spiral would come when I beat myself up for not being more positive or for not being kind to myself or that thinking negatively was having an adverse reaction on my health—one that I couldn’t control. However, by just allowing myself to say “Wow, this stinks” and dealing with the fear or anxiety, the fear and anxiety would pass. Talking to a friend would also help. But trying to talk myself into a more positive mindset would have the opposite reaction. It would just make me feel more negative because I couldn’t feel more positive. It was an enigma wrapped inside a conundrum, or something like that.

I think these kinds of studies are important but I’m not sure where they lead or what, really, they tell us.

In reality, I’m all for positive thinking, but I’m interested to know if there is anyone else out there in the Stiletto world who feels that when they read these articles or learn of these studies they feel as if they are deficient in certain areas or that they need to work harder to change their particular mindset. Do you let your “wiring” dictate how you feel or do you make a conscious effort to work against feelings of negativity? And just how exhausting is that?

Maggie Barbieri