Up in the Air, It’s Complicated

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In keeping with my New Year’s resolutions in which I vowed to view more movies in the movie theater because that’s what Jim—aka best hubby ever—likes to do, we went to see “Up in the Air” this past Saturday. George Clooney stars, along with Vera Farmiga—who who did admit to having a body double for the nude scene and forever cemented herself as a new favorite actress in my mind—and spunky kind-of newcomer Anna somebody or other, who didn’t look old enough to get into an R-rated movie never mind act in one. I found the entire story line—man travels the country firing people—to be extremely depressing and in the third act, when the man finds redemption or something resembling it, I found myself not rooting for the man but wondering what had happened to all of those loyal, dedicated people that he had fired. People who had lamented that they would need to vacate their homes, use less heating oil, and go on food stamps, all in the name of a company’s “downsizing.” All of this was made more poignant because the people who were fired in the film were real people, not actors. And that made the viewing of this movie all the more depressing and sobering.

And now I am reminded of why I hardly ever go to the movies, and when I do, shy away from the “important” and “star-making” ones like “Up in the Air.” Because they are just too damn depressing.

As we exited the movies, I implored Jim that we see “It’s Complicated” next weekend. Because you know what? It doesn’t sound complicated at all. Middle-aged women has two sexy men vying for her affection. Sounds like it’s right up my alley. Sure, I’ve got the middle-aged deli guy at the local gourmet store who smiles at me when I go in, but two middle-aged deli guys? That’s something a gal can only dream about.

But as I was pondering when we would go see “It’s Complicated,” I came across a small blurb in one of my favorite magazines, which touted the movie as “feminine middle-aged porn.” Really? So this is what an enjoyable movie made for my demographic is described as? “Middle-aged porn”? It’s a popular movie, starring the wonderful, sexy, and gorgeous Meryl Streep and now we’re supposed to feel bad because we buy into the story that two men could be interested in her? Or that she lives in a gorgeous house that is almost a character in the movie, so well-appointed and decorated it is? That was described as “architecture porn.” Seriously, people, enough with the “porn” references. If it isn’t porn, well, it just isn’t porn. Don’t try to be clever.

Anyway, we’ll go to see it and I’ll let you know what I think. There are so few movies made for women like me—basically, women who are not seventeen yet want to be entertained—that I’m looking forward to it. Have movie makers not figured out yet that it is we women, the middle-aged ones, who have the money? Because if they did, we’d be seeing a lot more movies in which women like Meryl Streep, and Helen Mirren, Joan Allen, and Vanessa Redgrave, and a host of other gorgeous women over thirty are given interesting and compelling storylines that may or may not involve pursuit by the opposite sex. Or their own sex. I don’t care which. Just stop showing women being mean to each other, or not supporting each other. We don’t want to see that because although movie makers think that this is what goes on in everyday life, it’s just not the case.

Just look at the Stiletto Gang. One for all and all for one.

Maggie Barbieri

Looking Forward to 2010

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I’ve been reading everyone’s resolutions with interest–some have long, long lists filled with self-improvement ideas, other write about hoped for achievements in the coming year, even a few include what they’d like to see happen on a more global aspect.

Frankly, I don’t write resolutions because to put them down on paper would mean I’d be overcome with guilt when I didn’t do them. Instead, I’m just going to try to do what I know I need to do.

First, because I write two series, I know I must hunker down in front of the computer and get my imagination fired up and put myself inside the world of Deputy Tempe Crabtree and make sure she has some intriguing mystery to solve along with a great deal of adventure. (That’s the book I’m working on now.)

My latest Rocky Bluff P.D. crime novel will be coming out sometime soon and I’ll need to plan a book launch, a virtual book tour and all the other things I do to promote both books.

A little more exercise wouldn’t hurt since I notice I’ve gotten a bit rounder after all the good holiday eating.

Spending time with my hubby and family is always a must–I don’t need to write a resolution to do that.

As far as what’s happening in the world, I know I don’t have any control over that–frankly, I don’t have any control over what happens in my family. I’ll pray for them both, that’s the best I can do.

For my fellow members of the Stiletto Gang and all those who read our blogs, I wish you the very best of 2010 and may all your dreams for the year come true.

Marilyn
http://fictionforyou.com

One Little Step or Maybe One Big Shove

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One step at a time. One piece at a time. One word at a time.

Any task that seems impossibly big, incredibly complicated, or too much to accomplish can usually be done with some thought or research, careful planning, and pressing ahead slowly, one step at a time.

You think I’m talking about writing a book? Right?

Well, yeah, that advice applies to writing but it also applies to just about everything else in life that you’re unfamiliar with doing: like putting together one of those “some assembly required” vacuum cleaners or bookshelves; hooking up a new DVR or sound system to your tv; installing new software; or adding additional memory to your computer. Often you can palm those tasks off on someone else. Usually a guy.

I’m just old enough to have been socialized to think that the males of our species are more competent at building things and putting mechanical or electronic things together than females. I’m just young enough to know it’s not the “Y” chromosome, but experience that really counts. Guys had more chances to do those things; while girls from a very early age were subtly told that they were good at other things. No one told me I couldn’t learn to use a table saw, but no one told me I could either. And of course there is a difference between not doing something because you can’t and not doing it because it’s difficult and you choose not to try.

When you have an older house and live alone, it’s vital that you develop some courage and learn to do some things for yourself – that’s if you don’t want to be constantly at the mercy of other people’s schedules. I’ve found that, outside of climbing on the roof (I have this fear of heights thing I can’t shake) or crawling under the house (I have this fear of spiders thing that I won’t shake), I can do most things if I take my time and do a little research. I’ve changed out the guts on my toilet several times. I’ve figured out how to seal a broken window in the middle of the night during a power outage in the middle of an ice storm. I’ve had to find the outside water cutoff when an old plumbing value in the kitchen gave way. And I can follow the vague and deliberately misleading instructions that come with anything requiring “some assembly.”

Okay, I admit it takes me about four times as long to affect a repair or put something together as it would my father and the results aren’t very neat, but I am getting faster and better the more I try. And I confess that I don’t enjoy doing any of those repairs or furniture construction projects, but it’s my suspicion that my father doesn’t really like doing any of those things either.

My latest project was moving out my old non-working television so I could replace it with a new flat screen television. Besides having to make a major purchase at Christmas, the problem was that I had an older 46 inch Sony Wega with a picture tube – it weighed about 200 pounds and was as deep as it was wide. Think baby elephant with a glass screen. My father had promised me when he and a neighbor struggled to move it into my house in the late 1990s, that he would not be moving it again. I took him at his word. It was up to me to get it out.

I knew if I could get it off its stand – about two feet high – I could put it on a dolly and move it. The trick was getting it to the floor without breaking anything – my bones and/or the wooden floor. It took me about a week to figure out a way. I used large sofa cushions piled next to the tv stand. Then I tipped the front heavy (unplugged) tv onto the cushions. Having the tv on the stack of cushions, allowed me to tilt and move the tv anyway I wanted.


I know – I’ve heard all my life that tvs were dangerous and you could get an electrical shock from something inside them, even unplugged. I couldn’t figure exactly what that “something” was, but I was properly fearful the entire time I was gutting it. (Note: Nothing happened but I should probably caution you not to repeat my actions, just in case.) As soon as I had removed enough to make the size more manageable I got “walked” it out the door, then wheeled it to the end of my carport. I’ll figure out what to do with the carcass another day.

Meanwhile I’m watching my new 46″ HD Samsung flat screen, wondering why I had to upgrade my cable in order to receive HD channels, and contemplating knocking out a wall between my kitchen and my dining room. I’m pretty sure I’ll need a sledgehammer. Anyone know an easy way to pinpoint something called a “bearing” wall? Just kidding. Well, maybe not.

Rhonda

aka The Southern Half of Evelyn David

Starting 2010 on the Right Foot (or the Left Foot, If You Walk That Way)

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by Susan McBride

I’m not sure how 2010 got here so quickly, but it did. Sometimes I’m glad when a year’s over, and other times (like now) I wonder how 365 days could’ve zipped by in a couple of blinks. Regardless, I like the idea of getting a chance to start over, if you will. What better excuse to attempt self-improvement than making New Year’s resolutions? So I’m going to show you mine, and maybe you’ll show me yours.

Resolution #1: Banish negative thoughts and stop dwelling on ickiness from the past. I just read EAT, PRAY, LOVE, and that’s a huge theme running through the book. My goal this year is to keep scooping out the poopy stuff like used cat litter so I can better focus on the positive. Or as John Burroughs put it, “One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.” Amen.

Resolution #2: Pause before I speak (or email). Instead of reacting emotionally and immediately to everything, I need to step back and take a breath first. I’ve had a few chances to practice this recently, and I did a pretty good job. Maybe one of these days it’ll become second nature.

Resolution #3: Keep cheering on my friends and their triumphs because a victory for one is a victory for all. Really. The more good stuff that gets spread around, the better.

Resolution #4: Practice random acts of “just because,” like surprising someone with a thoughtful note or kind word when they least expect it.

Resolution #5: Be self-disciplined enough to exercise regularly and eat good things because my body deserves it. How can we care for those around us if we don’t take care of ourselves?

Resolution #6: Enjoy the moment. I am famous for looking too far into the future and worrying about things that haven’t happened yet (although I’m not as bad as I used to be). If I stop and smell the roses more, I’ll spend less money on Tums.

Resolution #7: Forgive myself for bad judgment and recognize that everyone I’ve met who’s had an impact on my life, good or bad, has helped me to make a choice and/or learn a lesson and/or realize what I truly want/need/love. Stepping in doo-doo sometimes reminds us of how unpleasant it is to have stinky shoes. So next time, we’re a little more careful of where we walk. (If Confucius didn’t say that, he must’ve thought it.)

Resolution #8: Continue to test myself as a writer, tackling projects that once seemed terrifying and out of reach. Every time I survive something crappy or write something I never imagined I could write, I understand better how anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

Resolution #9: Read as much as humanly possible in a variety of genres. Reading, like exercise, is something I’ve been carving out more time for. I love when I find stories that not only entertain me, but inspire me. Like, Garth Stein’s heartfelt THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN, Sarah Addison Allen’s magical GARDEN SPELLS, Kate Morton’s meaty multi-layered THE HOUSE AT RIVERTON, and Elizabeth Gilbert’s engagingly soul-baring EAT, PRAY, LOVE. I so agree with Thomas Jefferson’s remark that “I cannot live without books.”

Resolution #10: Stop writing resolutions because I could go on forever, and life’s too short.

A-hem. (Lifting a virtual glass.) Here’s my toast to everyone as we enter 2010: May we always strive to be the best we can be and forgive ourselves when we stumble now and then; may we never be too busy to appreciate the sweetness of a kind word or a held hand; and may we never run out of wonderful books to read so that our minds can explore new people and places without having to pack a bag or leave the house. Cheers!

Misa

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In a world obsessed with Social Networking, I thought I’d make my post Twitter friendly today (since everyone’s busy, busy, busy with New Year’s Eve festivities!). Here’s my life in 2009 in a nutshell, twitter-style.

http://twitter.com/misaramirez

*”Sadly, future as an Olympic Walker is not to be. Knee surgery and NO MORE WALKING FOR EXERCISE sealed the deal. What am I going to do?!”

*”Book 2 in the Lola Cruz Mystery Series comes on Feb 2, 2010! Other books being shopped now. Articles coming out. More info on developing writing career @ http://misaramirez.com. Working on Bare Naked Lola now. Fun!”

*Favorite books of the year: “The Help; The Sugar Queen; Outliers. Too many to choose just one!”

*Favorite movie of the year: “I think it will be Nine or Sherlock Holmes. Also loved Gran Torino. Great Hero’s Journey. I admit, I really liked Avatar, too, though I’m not a Sci-Fi girl. Want to see Nine.”

*”Am teaching again with SMU’s Continuing Ed Writing Program. Don’t like the commute to Dallas, but love teaching.”

*”I’ve learned to stand up for what I believe. It’s not always easy, but it’s a good thing. I’m too old (43) and opinionated to turn a blind eye.”

*”Favorite mystery: The Thirteenth Tale. I think it came out the year before, but I’m always slow on the uptake with trends and what’s H.O.T.”

*”Hopes for 2010…BOOK DEAL for Quiz Girl, Sister Charms, and continuing the Lola Cruz Mystery Series.”

*”For family and self…health and happiness. Can’t ask for more than that!”

How about you? Anything stick out about your year, twitter-style? Favorite mystery book? Favorite book? Things you’re looking to change for 2010?


Happy New Year!


~Misa

New Year’s Resolutions, Part Deux

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Evelyn David’s post on Monday got me thinking about what I will resolve to do this coming year. I think it is an exceptionally good idea to take stock at the end of every year and vow to accomplish one or two good things in the coming year, even though I also know that most New Year’s resolutions are broken by the middle of February. There have been a few years where I have vowed not to make New Year’s resolutions and have stayed true to my word for the entire year, but this year is different. So, for all to see, this is what I promise to do:

1. Lose that 15 pounds. Thanks to a wonky thyroid that ceased working around May of this year, I have packed on quite a bit of poundage that no dieting has helped to erase. Your thyroid can go one of two ways: hypo, in which your metabolism slows to a snail’s pace, and hyper, in which it runs at the speed of a hummingbird’s wing. I, unfortunately, fall into the former category and had felt sluggish, lethargic, and slowed down. Way down. But all that changed when I found the delightful and brilliant mystery-loving Dr. K., who diagnosed and fixed the problem in a relatively short period of time. Things are stabilized and now I can focus on getting this rather doughy body back into fighting shape. Or at least the best shape one can be after several different types of cancer treatment have been administered and the dreaded middle age has set in. Check back for frequent updates on my progress. I’m looking to you to hold me accountable. And I promise not to turn on you. Maybe.

2. Focus on the positive. We’re going with only happy thoughts in ’10. Well, we’re going to do our best. I figure I have to take the advice I always give my kids: it takes far less energy to be positive than negative. And at my age, we need all the energy we can get.

3. Write more, procrastinate less. I learned a valuable lesson from Rachel Brady, fellow stiletto wearer, at Crime Bake this past November. Rachel participated in NanoWrimo, an exercise in which you write 50,000 words—any words will do—in the month of November. December is for revision. I figure if I can set a goal for myself of writing a certain number of words every week, regardless of whether they make sense or advance the story, I’ll be in good shape. October through December will be for revision, and by that time, hopefully, I’ll have what amounts to a reasonable first draft of book 6 in the Murder 101 series.

4. Avoid the United States Post Office at all costs. See #2 above.

5. See more movies. My husband loves movies. Me? Not so much. You see, you can’t talk during the movies and one of my favorite activities is talking. But in honor of the greatest man/husband/father who has ever lived, we’re going to do more of what he likes and less of what I like. Which is talking. Did I mention that I like to talk?

6. Laugh more, fret less. See #2 above.

What have you resolved, Stiletto faithful?

Maggie Barbieri

Church Christmas Dinner Big Success

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Despite the nightmares I had about oversleeping and not getting my turkey into the oven on time, I managed to bake my 17 lb. turkey, make two big trays of dressing, two with the “green bean casserole”, and one tray of yams with marshmallows ontop.

Hubby carved the turkey and we hauled the food over to church. The room was all set up with red tablecloths, candy in little dishes on each table, and poinsettia plants here and there. One table held a coffee pot, another container of punch and one with hot cider. Another table had all sorts of homemade deserts, pie, cakes, cookies and even fudge.

The serving table was loaded with ham, turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, yams, green salad, rolls, and sweet bread. Some of us stood behind the table and served up what people wanted. Others brought more food out from the kitchen, while others quickly prepared or brought out more of whatever dish we ran out of.

The paper had a notice in the Christmas morning addition and there was big sign inviting anyone who needed a place to go for Christmas dinner out on the highway. The dinner was to start at 1, but we began serving people at noon.

Many of the people we fed were the workers–and lots of members of my family since I usually have Christmas dinner at my house. However, we had many people come we’ve never seen before. And it was obvious they really appreciated (and needed) the Christmas dinner. We delivered 8 meals to people who called asking for them, and one family was picked up and brought to the church and taken home afterward.

It was a lot of work–but it was also a joy. What a great way to spend Christmas day! My daughter-in-law, son and grandson helped serve the food and enjoyed themselves. My granddaughter put people’s names on name tags.

I hope we do it again. I’m really proud of our tiny church, it is definitely a church with a big heart and I think we truly showed our Christmas spirit.

(I’m a terrible photographer–frankly I took these photos and then totally forgot to take any more. Of course most of the time I was behind the serving table, dishing up food for people.)

Marilyn

Resolved: 2010 will be healthier, full of laughter, and a book or two (poo, poo)

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It’s that time of year again for a little extra contemplation and planning for the next twelve months. What do I hope for 2010 – personally, professionally? Let me stipulate, with plenty of poo, poos that the original Evelyn would insist upon, that I wish that 2010 be a healthy year for myself, my family, my friends, and all Stiletto Gang followers. Happy? Sure that would be great – but you first need healthy.

Beyond that, you bet I have some resolutions for the new year. Many have been borrowed from other sources, including t-shirts which seemed to have captured the essence of what I intend. Here are my top 3. What did I forget? What’s on your list?

Life’s short, eat dessert first.
Now I take this maxim both literally and figuratively. While on my recent medical journey, I’ve developed an intolerance for salads, so lettuce has been off my shopping list for the last four months. Frankly no major loss as far as I’m concerned. Had it been a chocolate intolerance – I would have insisted on some major telethon to discover a cure.

But beyond my love of chocolate, I want to remember in 2010 to savor the good stuff of life. Sure, we all have obligations and responsibilities – but I want to make sure that I deliberately choose to celebrate the simchas (Hebrew for joyous occasions) and focus on the affirmatives. It’s important to be realistic – but it’s probably more important to be a dreamer. In 2010, I want to be sure that the balance is to accentuate the positive.

Not only do I not want to write The Great American Novel, I don’t want to read it.*
I realize that there are a list of books that are considered classics that anyone literate has read – and I’m declaring publicly that I probably will never read any of them. That even includes some legendary mystery authors whose works are considered sacred. And you know what – I don’t have to!

I want to write (with the Southern half of Evelyn David) more of the books I enjoy reading. I like cozies and I’m not going to apologize or mumble when I say it. I like stories with happy endings, where the good guys win. Goodness knows in real life that doesn’t always happen, but in 2010, I’m passing on books and movies that show the seamy side of life with no hope of redemption. I’m not burying my head in the sand to the harsh realities of this world – but I sure don’t need to read/watch it as entertainment.

* I read this line a couple of years ago on Crimespace.ning. I wish I knew who wrote it, but kudos to the author. It captures my feelings exactly

If you’re going to laugh about it someday, try laughing about it now.
I’m not looking for a career change doing stand-up comedy at bars (although that might be an interesting challenge??). Nor am I minimizing the real problems in life. But I am going to try and see the irony, humor (wry and otherwise) where I can and laugh at myself and my foibles with ease. Too often I take myself too seriously – and that’s a waste of energy that could be better spent.

What about you? What are your resolutions for 2010?

And to all, best wishes from both halves of Evelyn David and all the Stiletto Gang for a Healthy, Happy New Year!

Evelyn David

Holly Jolly Christmas!

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No fair. I have the Christmas post. Pressure!

To make up for last month’s long post, I’ll keep it short this time and simply wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, no matter what you celebrate.

May you enjoy your family and friends, get some rest and good eats, and enjoy a few laughs at these links.

Happy Holidays,
Rachel Brady

12 Heroes of Christmas

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Today wraps up the 12 Heroes of Christmas over at Chasing Heroes, the other blog I hang with. We’ve spent 12 days profiling our favorite holiday heroes and hunks, and there have been prizes galore! Today is the big kahuna. We have a gift basket with books and a whole bunch of other goodies. All you have to do is visit and leave a comment. Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow a Chasing Heroes winner!

Everybody’s full of anticipation for tomorrow and I’m the lucky one who gets to wish you all a Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve. I love that! I’ve been so blessed to have spent part of 2009 here with the Stiletto Gang, and I’m looking forward to an exciting 2010 with them. My new release, Hasta la Vista, Lola!, will be out in just over a month, I have more exciting things in the works, and life is good.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, A Blessed Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah, and a Very Joyous New Year to all our readers here at The Stiletto Gang!

XO ~ Misa