Clicking Our Heels – Family Stress Points and the Holidays

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Clicking Our Heels – Family Stress Points and the Holidays

Although we could talk about the wonderful aspects of the holiday season, we thought it would be fun to discuss what families often sweep under the rug – whether there are stress points that may become a flashpoint during the holiday season.

Mary Lee Ashford – We’ve worked really hard to not have family stress points during the holidays. After years of rushing about and stressing over food and gifts, we now just stay low-key and flexible. It makes it easier on everyone – I hope.

Bethany Maines – In my immediate family, not so much. But holidays during COVID forced some flashpoints within my extended family.

Debra Sennefelder – Yes. Deep breaths and daily (yes, daily) reminders that it’s only temporary.

Donalee Moulton – Fortunately, we have a holiday rhythm that is fluid and meets our needs individually and collectively. We all pitch in, we all come together, we all do our own thing. We laugh.

Anita Carter – Not very often.

Donnell Ann Bell – I am blessed with grown children who are extremely considerate and even-keeled. Outside interference has certainly turned into flashpoints that add stress. By the time this runs, I hope I can report all is resolved.

Gay Yellen – Our holidays are generally pretty serene. Since we don’t see family often, it’s always fun to catch up with what everyone’s doing.

Debra H. Goldstein – Getting together is wonderful. Our problem is trying to balance everything in terms of timing – whether it be necessary naps, squeezing in visits with non-family friends, figuring out when we want to sit down for meals, or things that come up that nobody anticipated. In the end, it all works out.

Lois Winston – Depends on the family members. It used to be really bad when my mother-in-law was still alive. We never got along. I got even, though. She’s the model for Anastasia’s communist mother-in-law in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. And yes, my mother-in-law was really a communist.

T.K. Thorne – I go into the holidays with the mindset of building treasured memories and relationships. That is a buffer for conflicts. …And I try to sneak in a bit of alone time. 🙂

Dru Ann Love – No.

Barbara J. Eikmeier – I need to bite my tongue or remove myself from the situation or I might say something that unintentionally hurts someone’s feelings.

Valentines, Shmalentines

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A couple of weeks ago, I received an email that opened with this: “Not interested in Valentine’s content?” It continued, very sympathetically: We understand this time can be tough. If you would prefer not to receive Valentine’s Day emails this year, you can opt out by simply clicking below. With love, your Etsy friends.

The whole thing made me wonder. Are American consumers so delicate that we can’t deal with Valentine’s Day if we’re without a valentine of our own? Will retailers now follow suit and spare people who are sadly bereft of a mother from the onslaught of Mother’s Day marketing? Or offer non-holiday shoppers relief from the five months-long Christmas advertising blitz?

Valentine’s Day has murky origins. Apparently, there were three different men named Valentine who achieved sainthood. Their individual stories differ, and are not particularly romantic. However, regarding the celebration of love on February 14, there’s this: In the Middle Ages in England and France, that date was commonly believed to be the start of mating season for birds, and thus, a day for romance. Somewhere along the way, those sexy Greek and Roman gods, Eros and Cupid, added their classical spice to the mix.

The oldest known valentine still in existence is a poem written in 1415. I haven’t been able to find the original text, so it may or may or may have gone something like this: Roses are red, violets are blue, thou hast the face of an olde cockatoo.

Times have changed, and romantic love has taken a beating in the past few decades. While I understand the yearning for a knight in shining armor who gallops across the moat carrying a dozen perfect red roses and a two pound box of Godiva, most princesses have moved on toward the notion that true love comes in different flavors, and doesn’t always arrive in the form of a macho man on his high horse.

Houston Museum of Natural Science

More and more women are celebrating Galentine’s Day. Marketers have picked up on the vibe, offering “Cupid is Stupid” specials at taverns, restaurants, and entertainment halls. At least one establishment in town advertises a special axe-throwing night for women only. Makes me wonder what shape or form the axe’s target resembles. Also turns my imagination toward a great plot idea for a Rom-Com Crime story.

This year, the Houston Museum of Natural Science invited its members to contemplate the mutual attraction of our Earth and Moon (above). They also encouraged those of us among the Valentine- or Galentine-perplexed to “Take a Bite out of Love” by giving our special someone this: a cockroach that can be cherished, or squished like a bug, according to your heart’s desire.

Houston Museum of Natural Science

Valentine’s and Galentine’s Days have another sibling. It’s called Palentine’s Day and it gives us all a chance to tell our best buddies that we love and appreciate them. I like this choice the best.

So today, I wish everyone—my readers, friends, family, and colleagues alike—a very Happy Palentine’s Day!

What’s your favorite thing to do on February 14th?

Gay Yellen is the award-winning author of the Samantha Newman Mystery Series, including The Body Business, The Body Next Door, and the upcoming Body in the News!