March Madness

I usually don’t watch sports on television – I make an exception for March Madness and the women’s tournament.

I got my first basketball in the sixth grade. I loved playing. I would have loved playing on a team even more, but that was back before schools believed they had to provide equal sports opportunities for girls. Some schools offered basketball for girls, most did not. The grade school I attended didn’t think it was necessary. The sixth grade boys had a team that competed with other schools. The sixth grade girls got to play basketball at recess. Big whoop. That was 1971.

On June 23, 1972, things changed. Title IX was enacted. The new federal law stated, “No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.”

In other words, “Schools, if you want federal money, stop discriminating based on sex.”

The biggest area of discrimination? Sports.

In 1972, the school I attended had a girls’ basketball program.

We didn’t get the facilities, the locker rooms, the uniforms, the playing times, or any of the extras that the boys’ teams took for granted, but we had a team. And after having nothing before, we were ecstatic.

Today, I look at how far women’s sports programs have come and I’m very envious. All kinds of opportunities are out there for girls of all ages. Even with schools cutting back because of budget constraints, if they offer boys sports, they have to offer girls sports. There have been many challenges to the law, many disputes over what constitutes equal, and many complaints over adding girls sports if it meant cutting a boys’ sport in order to be able to fund a sport for the girls. And what the schools can’t afford, private organizations can and do. Girls’ softball, volleyball, tennis, fencing, and yes, even basketball community or club leagues are common

Are men’s and women’s sports treated equally? Are they equally funded? Equally supported by their communities? No. But I have hope that someday they will be. We have come a long way since 1972.

As I write this blog, I think of one of my heroes, Pat Summitt, the University of Tennessee women’s basketball head coach. She started as an assistant coach at the university in 1974, having grown up during the time when girls’ sports was an oddity, not a given. A lot of the respect women’s basketball has achieved in the last 34 years has been due to Pat Summitt’s efforts.

The other night I watched her mostly freshman team lose in the first round to Ball State. Although the Tennessee team and coach were visibly disappointed, along with the pundits and fans, I couldn’t help but think how lucky they were. Win or lose, their destiny is determined, not by their gender, but by talent, hard work, and desire.

March Madness? Sure. Sixty-four teams of talented, athletic, smart young women playing a team sport, their games broadcast on national television.

Quite a change from the time when girls were lucky to touch a basketball at recess.

Bring on the madness.

Evelyn David

P.S. – New interview with both halves of Evelyn David is up at Ask Wendy – The Query Queen’s blog – Check it out – Ten Questions by Ask Wendy – The Query Queen

Evelyn David interview http://tinyurl.com/EvelynDavidinterview

Dating in the Modern World–Not for the Faint of Heart

My Stiletto sisters of Monday and Tuesday have given me plenty of food for thought and I was debating between the “first date” post versus the “guilty pleasure” post. Since writing about my guilty pleasures could take a lot longer than it should, I’ll start with first dates or just dating in general.

I didn’t go on too many first dates, luckily. I was fortunate to meet my husband in college where we first became friends in one of our shared French classes. I was struggling a bit with the material and our teacher—a woman who was truly a Fairy Godmother to me and Jim—suggested that this younger man help me with my studies. Suffice it to say that the only things I can say in French are,“I need more wine, please” and “Where is the bathroom?” but I found my soul mate and the love of my life. So who cares if I confuse the words for factory and pool in French?

For some reason, though, I’ve been thinking a lot about dating mores in the modern world. I find myself having made the acquaintances of younger women and am in awe of what goes on the in the world of 21st century dating. Texting, email, Facebook, Blackberry communication…it’s daunting. Doesn’t anyone use the phone anymore? Or talk to each other face to face? Although back in the day, some of us were known to sit by the phone for hours on end waiting for that special someone to call, is the instant access of today any better? What happens if you text a paramour and don’t hear back from him/her instantly? To me, that seems much worse than staring at a non-ringing phone, willing it to trill. Knowing that everyone is plugged in twenty-four/seven and not receiving a text back would make me nuts. And I think I can safely say that that goes for the women I know out there in the dating world.

Several of my younger friends also do online dating, which I thought would be a good resource until I heard about how many potential dates post pictures of people other than themselves to draw dates in. And of course, I’m a mystery writer, so all I think about is meeting a stranger in a bar for a drink or a cup of coffee and how that scenario could go so wrong. But I also know three friends who met their spouses online; all are happy, well-adjusted, and giant proponents of online dating.

It’s the speed of everything nowadays that gives me pause. A similarly-aged friend and I were talking to a much younger friend who is attempting to embark on a new relationship. This new couple is still sorting things out—the “dance,” so to speak. My advice? Take it slow. Let it marinate. My friend’s advice? Look for a companion. Look for someone to do things with that you like to do. Have fun together. Decide what it is that is a deal breaker and what you can live with, because guess what? We’re not all perfect. Don’t expect him to hang on your every word, or vice versa. Go from sixty miles an hour to thirty and see how that feels.

The younger woman stared at us, dubious, but I did remind her that we have a combined 30 + years of marriage between us, so we can’t be all wrong, right? I know things are different, but are they truly that different?

What’s going on out there in the dating world? Your thoughts from the trenches, please.

Maggie Barbieri

Guilty Pleasures

Going to movies is one of my guilty pleasures–guilty because of the money it costs to go to the show nowadays and the fact that we usually end up eating out either before or after. The last movie we saw was Knowing which hubby and I thoroughly enjoyed. People are calling it sci-fi, but it really is religious with multiple subtle clues throughout.

Another of my guilty pleasures is reality TV shows. I’m delighted that Dancing With the Stars is back on. My daughter-in-law and I watch together. We’ve sucked hubby into watching it too. I also love Survivor and have watched it faithfully since it’s inception. My eldest daughter and I discuss it along with the Amazing Race via e-mail after each episode. (Yes, I also like Celebrity Apprentice, but I’m usually asleep before the firing.)

My biggest confession is my husband and I watch General Hospital together in the afternoon. (If we miss it we watch the episode on the computer.) Frankly, sometimes we both go to sleep when it’s on. It’s amazing to me the things they do with the plot that an author could never get away with. I also have a good friend who is a General Hospital fan and hubby and I have been invited to her home for tea and to watch an episode,

I have other TV shows I really like–Medium and The Mentalist are wonderful. By the time evening comes around, my brain is too tired to tackle any writing chores and a little mindless entertainment seems just right.

Oh, and I like McDonald’s vanilla flavored iced coffee too. (Fortunately we’re 17 miles away from the nearest McDonald’s.)

Now, I’ve confessed–what are your guilty pleasures?

Marilyn a.k.a. F. M. Meredith
http://fictionforyou.com

The Mating Game


Listening to son number three rant about the dating scene made me realize that even if it’s been a million years since I was unattached, first dates are still the pits.

A recent example.

He’d met an interesting woman who was a friend of a friend of a friend. They’d chatted by phone, exchanged a couple of emails, and agreed to meet for a drink. This generation – and I just aged myself by a hundred years, but at least I didn’t refer to them as the young un’s – don’t want to invest any real time or money in a first date. You meet in a public location, just for drinks or coffee so it’s a limited time frame, and if worse comes to worse, you check your Blackberry and announce that you have to go back to work because of an unexpected crisis. Who’s going to argue in this economy when work calls?

From what I understand, the meet and greet over beers went well, they shared a few laughs, discovered they both like films, and before the evening ended, agreed to go to a movie.

Danger, Will Robinson.

The movie you choose can mean the difference between marriage and a lonely life of celibacy.

Ever the gentleman (I raised him well), he permitted the young woman to choose the flick. Now, if I had been advising her, there are a couple of parameters I would have suggested in choosing a film for a first date.

1. Skip all Chick flicks.
We may all be able to recite verbatim numerous scenes from Steel Magnolias and have the soggy tissues to show for it, but if the movie has the girl dying for love, it’s a pass for a first or even fifth date.

2. Pass on any movie with subtitles.
Sure there are lots of fabulous films made in Japan, Italy, France – but at this point, you’d like subtitles for what your date really means when he says, “I’ll call you.”

3. Avoid at all costs any films that have an IMPORTANT message.
AKA, you’ll walk out depressed because life sucks and there’s no point in even hoping that there is a happy ending to, well, anything because men are pigs.

Here’s what happened. They met at 9:30 pm for a quick coffee and cupcake. So far, so good. Sure it’s late for me, but they’re young. The movie was at 10 and it was a World War II movie in a frozen tundra with Nazis – not a lot of laughs to say the least. In fact, not only did many of the good guys die in the film, but the epilogue then made clear that even those who survived suffered more tragedies in life.

As he pointed out, you’re not supposed to end a first date thoroughly depressed. Since it was midnight and both had early meetings for work the next day, they parted within fifteen minutes — never to meet again.

What the worst first date you ever had?

Evelyn David

P.S. We’ve been Kindle-d. Murder Off the Books is now available in Kindle format. Murder Takes the Cake will not be published in paperback until May, but is already available in Kindle format. TechnologyRUs!

Writing the Query Letter

Today we have a Q & A with Wendy Burt-Thomas. She is a full-time freelance writer, editor and copywriter with more than 1,000 published pieces. Her third book, “The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters” hit stores in January 2009. To learn more about Wendy or her three books, visit www.GuideToQueryLetters.com. If you have a writing-related question, you can also post it on http://www.AskWendy.wordpress.com.

Can you tell us about your book?

The book was a great fit for me because I’d been teaching “Breaking Into Freelance Writing” for about eight years. In the workshop, I covered a lot of what is in this book: writing query letters to get articles in magazines, to land an agent, or to get a book deal with a publisher. Since I’m a full-time freelance magazine writer and editor with two previous books, this was incredibly fun to write because it didn’t require tons of research. I was lucky enough to receive lots of great sample query letters from writers and authors that I use as “good” examples in the book. I wrote all the “bad” examples myself because I didn’t dare ask for contributions that I knew I’d be ripping apart!

In addition to the ins and outs of what makes a good query, the book covers things like why (or why not) to get an agent, where to find one and how to choose one; writing a synopsis or proposal; selling different rights to your work; other forms of correspondence; and what editors and agents look for in new writers.

It was really important to me that the book not be a dry, boring reference book, but rather an entertaining read (while still being chock full of information). I was thrilled that Writer’s Digest let me keep all the humor.

Why are query letters so important?

Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious “in” of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor. Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they’ll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don’t like your query letter, you’ve got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query. Make it count!

I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you’ve blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript. It could be the next bestseller, but they’ll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it’s not fabulous, don’t send it until it is.

You’re also a magazine editor. What is your biggest gripe regarding queries?

Queries that show that the writer obviously hasn’t read our publication. I’ll admit that I did this when I was a new writer too – submitted blindly to any publication whose name sounded even remotely related to my topic. One of the examples I use was when I submitted a parenting article to a magazine for senior citizens. Oops! A well-written query pitching an article that’s not a match for the magazine isn’t going to get you any further than a poorly written query.

There’s an entire chapter in the book about agents. Do you think all new writers should get agents?

Probably 99% of new writers should get an agent. There are lots of reasons, but my top three are: 1) Many of the larger publishing houses won’t even look at unagented submissions now; 2) Agents can negotiate better rights and more money on your behalf; 3) Agents know the industry trends, changes and staff better than you ever could.

You’ve been a mentor, coach or editor for many writers. What do you think is the most common reason that good writers don’t get published?

Poor marketing skills. I see so many writers that are either too afraid, too uniformed, or frankly, too lazy, to market their work. They think their job is done when the write “the end” but writing is only half of the process. I’ve always told people who took my class that there are tons of great writers in the world who will never get published. I’d rather be a good writer who eats lobster than a great writer who eats hot dogs. I make a living as a writer because I spend as much time marketing as I do writing.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions that writers have about getting a book deal?

That they’ll be rich overnight, that they don’t need to promote their book once it’s published, that publishing houses will send them on world book tours, that people will recognize them at the airport. Still, you can make great money as an author if you’re prepared to put in the effort. If it wasn’t possible, there wouldn’t be so many full-time writers.

What must-read books do you recommend to new writers?

Christina Katz (author of “Writer Mama”) has a new book out called “Get Known Before the Book Deal” – which is fabulous. Also, Stephen King’s “On Writing” and David Morrell’s “Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing.” Anything by Anne Lamott or my Dad, Steve Burt.

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned as a full-time writer?

Seize every opportunity – especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, “Wow. You have the best luck!” I thought, “Luck has nothing to do with it! I’ve worked hard to get where I am.” Later that week I read this great quote: “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” It’s absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you’re prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you’ll be successful.

What did you enjoy most about writing this book?

Writing the “bad” query letters. I’ve read – and written! – so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?

What do you want readers to learn from your book?

I want them to understand that while writing a good query letter is important, it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. You can break it down into parts, learn from any first-round rejections, and read other good queries to help understand what works. I also want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don’t bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.

What great info! Thanks, Wendy!

Library Love

As my co-author and I are gearing up to promote the May publication of Murder Takes the Cake, we’re discussing our favorite way to reach mystery readers and sell books – events at public libraries.

When you give a presentation in a library, your audience is filled with people who love books, love talking about books, and want nothing more than to hear what you have to say. Some even have dreams of writing their own books. Your family may have grown weary of hearing about your writing, but go to a library and you have a room full of fresh ears.

On more than one occasion, I’ve found that a one hour event has turned into two as audience members ask questions about the books and the road to publication. That’s the best part – the questions. You never know what someone is going to ask. During my first library presentation I got a question from an elderly woman. She declared that she’d buy my book if I could assure her that no animals or people got killed in it. I told her no animals were killed but that it was a murder mystery …. The audience laughed, even the questioner.

This year “Evelyn David” will be offering “talks” on crafting mysteries, developing characters, and writing a series. We have presentations suitable for all ages and a few just for teens. We try to provide handouts – bookmarks, lists of “how-to-write” books, and a list of links to on-line writers’ groups. The door prize drawing is always a hit.

If an author is scheduled to speak at a library in your home town, go and check it out. You’ll have fun, find something interesting to read, and lend some much needed support to your local library system.

And if you’re a librarian in Oklahoma or New York (or a surrounding state) and would like a guest speaker, send us an email at evelyn@evelyndavid.com If you’ll check at our website in our “Libraries Hall of Fame,” you can see which libraries we’ve visited in the last two years. We’re setting our speaking schedule for the summer and fall of 2009 now and we’d love to add you to that list!

Evelyn David
http://www.evelyndavid.com/

A Few Words on Michelle (and you know who I’m talking about)

This week, New York magazine dedicated several pages—and its cover—to our new First Lady, Michelle Obama. Very famous writers were charged with trying to find the reason she has gone from almost-reviled to now-revered. Remember the “this is the first time in my adult life that I’ve been proud of my country” comment and the ire it inspired? Or the fist bump? (Something I do with my kids for every good grade; if they knew of its radical connotations, they would probably be fist-bumping me every chance they got. Or getting straight A’s every semester.)

What is it that has caused this transformation in the public’s opinion? I, of course, have a theory or two.

She’s a mother with two small children: Many took issue with the fact that this woman was calling herself “Mom-in-Chief.” Me? I have no problem with that. The family does have two children. With a high-profile father—probably the highest-profile father—and the demands that go along with living in the White House, I respect a woman who would acknowledge that despite the Presidency and all its trappings, there are children to raise. Children who deserve a normal childhood. Children who need to go to school, participate in after-school activities, do homework, practice their instruments and most importantly, play. Michelle Obama recognizes this and seems to be doing her best, including asking her mother along for the ride, to make these things happen for them.

She seems to dig her husband—a lot: I like having a couple in the White House who genuinely seem to like—even dig—one another. Of course Ron and Nancy Reagan were madly in love for all those years but they were so much older than I was when he was in office that they seemed like my grandparents. I couldn’t relate. Hillary and Bill? Should I even go there? And George and Barbara Bush? More grandparents. W and Laura seemed to have a good thing going but not in any kind of relatable way. The Obamas are a different breed of married compared to the last four First Couples. There was that romantic dance to Etta James’ “At Last” at the inauguration ball, and of course, the aforementioned fist bump, a romantic gesture in context. They don’t do the public displays of affection of the googly-eyes, but you can just tell. She speaks of his bad morning breath and the fact that he’s not so good about picking up after himself, but the way she talks about it is in the most affectionate way. I’m sure in the privacy of the East Wing or the Lincoln Bedroom she might not be so circumspect or accepting of his flaws, but when she speaks of him in public, she makes it seem like his habits are endearing. (And we all know that they ARE NOT. Even if he is the damn President.)She’s tall—I love a tall girl. I’m five foot eight and she’s got at least three inches on me. That’s tall. And she wears heels. That’s what tells me she’s comfortable with her tallness. Gone are the days of the petite flower—the Jackie Kennedy’s and Nancy Reagans. We’ve got a woman who is tall, curvy, and looks like she actually likes to eat. Gotta love that.

Basically, she’s just like us. And that’s what I think many of us are responding to. Although she doesn’t have to worry about what to make for dinner anymore, she still rides her kids about making their own beds and eating their vegetables. And she shops retail, mostly; an outfit that caused a stir was one she wore on David Letterman and which she had bought at J. Crew. She’s concerned about military families and literacy and all of the things that we should all be concerned about.

And she’s got great arms. We know that. But to get those great arms, she has to get up at 5:30 to work out with her husband. That’s where I draw the line.

Maggie Barbieri

What are your thoughts on our new First Lady?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day


One of my fondest memories is the one and only time I was in New York and while searching for a place to eat, came upon four rather inebriated Irishmen singing outside an Irish pub. Of course that’s where we chose to eat–great food and all the wait staff was Irish with wonderful Irish accents. On that same trip, an Irish conductor rescued me when I dumped my luggage when I was trying to get on the train. He scooped everything up and settled me in my seat. When I arrived at the D.C. train station, he had a cart waiting to deliver me and my friend to the taxi he’d called ahead for us. He also had a wonderful accent.

I’ve been really busy the last few days–gave a talk at a library. Fun and great crowd. While there, the librarian downloaded one of by books on his Kindle, took about 20 seconds. This weekend, we went to Camarillo and Oxnard (CA) to visit my youngest daughter and family, then the eldest and her husband. On Sunday, we had a booth at the Celebration of the Whales (I was the only author–that seems to work well), sold a lot of books, talked to many folks, and handed out lots of cards.) Great weekend–but tiring.

Marilyn
a.k.a. F. M. Meredith
http://valleygirlmusings.blogspot.com/ today’s stop on my blog tour–much easier than the physical stuff I do.

How Frugal Are You?


The economy is in the pits, the publishing business has gone south, and it doesn’t take long to balance my checkbook since there’s not much in there …yadda, yadda, yadda.

I know I’m preaching to the choir.

Like most people, I’m thinking long and hard about every purchase and eliminating many of the extras in our daily lives. My husband is packing his lunch most days. I brew my own rather than indulging in an over-priced cup of coffee from the local Starbucks. We’re borrowing DVDs from the library rather than renting from Blockbuster. In a two-fer, I do most of my errands on foot which saves gas and is actually a healthy move for a sedentary writer. We eat enough chicken that cluck is our second language. I’m still buying books – but there’s a certain self-interest in contributing to the publishing industry.

I’ve also spent way too much time searching the Internet for web sites that will tell me how to be more frugal. To be honest, it’s just a cheap procrastination technique, but I have learned a thing or two. Many sites offer great coupons for discounts on everything from groceries to clothing to auto repairs. I won’t go to a store without checking to see if there is a coupon available.

Most of these sites also have tips on how to cut your living expenses to the bone. Brand loyalty? Pffft – a thing of the past. To be honest, I’m willing to use generics for most products – heck even on pharmaceuticals. But I like Tide Laundry Detergent and Bounty Paper Towels. I feel ashamed to even admit that I’m spending $$$ on these hyper-advertised products. I know I could be making my own laundry detergent with a little washing soda, Borax and Fels Naptha soap. But that’s not going to happen. I know I shouldn’t use paper towels regardless of the brand in order to save the environment. Sigh. It’s hard to be cheap, environmentally conscious, and lazy.

What’s the biggest change you’ve made to save $$$ since the economy imploded? Is there anything you just can’t give up, even if there is a cheaper alternative?

Evelyn David

Secret Messages & Mysterious Codes

Mr. Stratton straightened. His smile faded. “Now, who is to be spokesman?”

“I am,” said Trixie. Jim was co-president of the Bob-Whites, but Trixie usually did the talking.

“Trixie, the School Board doesn’t want secret societies to exist in Sleepyside schools, when clubs – really gangs – can be the source of so much trouble. The board feels…that your club will have to disband.”

“We couldn’t!” Trixie almost shouted…

Most people can think of a book that impacted them. In my case, Trixie Belden forever changed my fiction reading, and especially #7, The Mysterious Code. The section above is from the back cover. The series, first from the 60’s and 70’s, featured spunky Trixie, her brothers, their wealthy friends, lots of horseback riding and the crimes they solved in their Sleepyside town. Trixie had a crush on Jim, and in #7, he gets her a corsage for a Valentine’s Day event. Here began my love of a few things including romantic suspense and codes.

The Trixie books seemed more real than Nancy Drew, as Trix made lots of mistakes and got in trouble a lot. She was terrible at household chores. I won’t say why that seemed more real. No one can say these books are multicultural or politically correct, especially the Asian brothers portrayed in #7, but it was a beloved series for me and many other. Author Denise Swanson has a Trixie Frayne (what her name would have been had she married Jim) in her series as a tribute. I even saved up the back page ads of those books when I was young for a t-shirt. I see those now on Ebay for big bucks.

My favorite Sherlock Holmes is The Adventure of the Dancing Men. I still have an old copy of the children’s book Alvin’s Secret Code by Hicks. Puzzles and codes always fascinate me, and I busily made strips of paper to wrap around sticks with my friends when I was younger (to read vertically). I set some papers on fire trying to brown lemon juice messages on them.

While my handwriting now seems like a code to lots of folks, I miss the note passing and other forms of coding I did when I was younger. Texting is not the same! I was delighted that the cover of Missing is a jigsaw puzzle, and I promptly had a puzzle made from the cover photo when it came. Puzzles are the closest I get to my secret message days.

What got you into mysteries?

-Amy Alessio

Amy Alessio is a YA librarian and author. Her most recent short story is featured in Echelon Press’s new mystery anthology, Missing. Amy has a personal blog, Vintage Cookbooks. She also blogs for the Love is Murder conference and for Echelon Press’s Teen Scene.