Turkeys everywhere
by AB Plum aka Barbara Plum
The political junkie in me really, really, really wants to write a blog this month with
a political slant.
a political slant.
The common sense adult in me demands I holster my
trigger finger. Three repetitions of the adverb in the first sentence wakens my
Inner Editor screaming one question.
trigger finger. Three repetitions of the adverb in the first sentence wakens my
Inner Editor screaming one question.
Why?
What insight do you, she screeches, bring to the
on-going political debacle?
on-going political debacle?
Ooops, my editor’s less-than-neutral noun reflects the
political slant’s inherent volatility.
political slant’s inherent volatility.
My Inner Editor returns to reason.
Thanksgiving approacheth. Why stir up gastric acids
even before the turkey and dressing, the green bean casserole, corn pudding. two
kinds of cranberry sauce, sweet potato casserole (with gooey marshmallow
topping), whipped potatoes, baked Brussel sprouts, creamed onions, pumpkin, Bourbon
pecan, chocolate, apple, cranberry-pear, coconut custard, and lemon meringue
pies are served?
even before the turkey and dressing, the green bean casserole, corn pudding. two
kinds of cranberry sauce, sweet potato casserole (with gooey marshmallow
topping), whipped potatoes, baked Brussel sprouts, creamed onions, pumpkin, Bourbon
pecan, chocolate, apple, cranberry-pear, coconut custard, and lemon meringue
pies are served?
Why not write about the First Thanksgiving? Inner Editor suggests.
Something with a light-hearted touch?
All right, I like humor. Stuffing my darker side down
into my mental vault, I return to the keyboard.
into my mental vault, I return to the keyboard.
What’s the difference between
Election day and Thanksgiving day?
Election day and Thanksgiving day?
On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election day,
you get a turkey for four years.
you get a turkey for four years.
OMG, my Inner Editor groans. You’re the turkey. Get
your head on straight. Thanksgiving doesn’t have an audience for anything that smacks
of politics.
your head on straight. Thanksgiving doesn’t have an audience for anything that smacks
of politics.
So, I forget the humorous twist. The posturing Washington
turkeys aren’t funny. They’re ridiculous.
turkeys aren’t funny. They’re ridiculous.
Consider a historical perspective, advises my Inner
Editor, sharpening her red pencil. Be sure to include a hook or your reader
will stop reading after the first line.
Editor, sharpening her red pencil. Be sure to include a hook or your reader
will stop reading after the first line.
Exactly why I want to lead with: something hooky.
Unfortunately, most of the Thanksgiving hooks are
really myths. Deconstructing those myths leaves the early founders (Separatists—not
Pilgrims—debunking one of many myths) tarnished.
really myths. Deconstructing those myths leaves the early founders (Separatists—not
Pilgrims—debunking one of many myths) tarnished.
Reframing those stories—learned in
kindergarten and earlier when we dressed kids in paper bags with a feather duster
tails—probably borders on political incorrectness.
kindergarten and earlier when we dressed kids in paper bags with a feather duster
tails—probably borders on political incorrectness.
Okay, so go with a few historical facts (i.e., not fake
news).
news).
Whew. We do have a couple of facts:
- ·
In 1863 Abraham Lincoln declared the 4th
Tuesday in November officially as Thanksgiving. (By proclamation vs executive
order). - ·
FDR, in 1939, capitulated to changing the
date to the 3rd Thursday in November. (To increase shopping days
until Christmas. Whether sound economics or flack from various groups forced a
date of the 4th Thursday in November, we may never know). - ·
Mashed potatoes didn’t show up on the first
menu around 1621. Fact, potatoes weren’t a staple of New England at that time.
Ditto for sweet potatoes—a Southern staple. - ·
Venison rather than turkey provided the
protein. - ·
The Separatists (known much later as
Pilgrims) didn’t sport buckles on their shoes. Or on their hats. Buckles became fashion
accessories decades after the original “pilgrims” left England. In
the New World, they were too poor for such frippery. Since they provided their
own medical care, public assistance was a moot point.
·
AOBTW, the indigenous inhabitants of the
new world most likely celebrated “the first Thanksgiving” long before
the pilgrims immigrated. (I said in the beginning I wanted to write with a
political slant).
AOBTW, the indigenous inhabitants of the
new world most likely celebrated “the first Thanksgiving” long before
the pilgrims immigrated. (I said in the beginning I wanted to write with a
political slant).
My Inner Editor isn’t happy, but it is her right to
pursue happiness elsewhere. And for all my border-line bah-humbug ‘tude, I am
thankful to live in this contradictory place where none of us is above the law.
pursue happiness elsewhere. And for all my border-line bah-humbug ‘tude, I am
thankful to live in this contradictory place where none of us is above the law.
****
In Silicon Valley. AB Plum reads too much political stuff and switches to writing
mysteries to “find justice”. She writes romantic comedy because love
transforms us.
mysteries to “find justice”. She writes romantic comedy because love
transforms us.