Tag Archive for: bethany maines

Just Keep Running

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by Bethany Maines

I was going to use this blog to
announce the publication of my short story.  Two weeks ago readers voted on the name – Spells of Murder,
Murder & Magic, or The Law of Magic and selected Spells of Murder as the
winner.  And in the interest of
self here is the announcement: Spells of Murder on sale now!  It’s only a buck and I sincerely hope
you enjoy it. 

But here’s what I really want to say.
I run.  I’m not
a very fast runner.  I will never
win races, but that’s not really the point. The point is that I run.  But last week in Boston, someone tried
to stop runners, and people who support runners, from running. I know in the
coming weeks the motives and every move of the Tsarnaev brothers will be
examined and discussed, but to me the details don’t really matter. The bottom
line is that someone was filled with enough hate to try and kill lots of
people. And I think anyone who has ever done race understands that the injured
in Boston could have been me, could have been my family.  Race
days are chaotic, crowd filled, and stoked by the little dramas of each,
individual runner who battles the clock and the road, striving to find out if
they put in the miles. Every race day big or small has that same feeling. Every
race day is The Boston to someone. Even though each runner is alone, or perhaps
because we’re alone, runners love the communal spirit of race day. And to have
someone attack that… it stabs at the heart. I wish I had some sort of words of
wisdom that would bring healing and help to the people that were injured.  I don’t.  All I can say is that I run.  And I won’t be stopping. 
Bethany
Maines is the author of Bulletproof
Mascara, Compact With the Devil and Supporting the Girls, as well
as a new series of paranormal short stories: Tales
from the City of Destiny. You can also
view the Carrie Mae youtube
video or catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com.  

Your Vote Matters!

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By Bethany Maines



The good news: I have a new short story coming out on Tax
Day!  Yes, that is an infamously
black day, but I thought I’d give people something to look forward to.

The bad news: 
I’m having serious second thoughts about the story title.
Up until now it’s been known rather blandly as Cops &
Robbers.  The story – part of my
Tales From the City of Destiny series – features Sam Roseberry, a Tacoma
Detective and Native American shaman in training, as he hunts down a killer
who’s been murdering people for their magical powers. Not only does Cops &
Robbers sound like the wrong genre, it sounds about as boring as butterless
popcorn. The truth is that when I’m writing, the name of the story is the
farthest thing from my mind. When I call a story something initially, it’s
usually something like, “The One With Sam.”  Which is an even less sellable name than “Cops &
Robbers.”  Once my writing group
insists on a name (apparently, “The One With Sam” doesn’t clarify things for
them), I slap a working title on the thing and move forward. Sadly, my working
titles are frequently extremely literal with a dash of cliché for easy
memorization. Sam is a Cop and people are Robbing magical powers.  One title – check. 
My first novel was called something hideous like “Espionage
Purple” and my agent delicately suggested that perhaps that maybe… er… that
wasn’t the best title for the book and maybe… er… it could be changed. To which
I said, “Oh, yes.  That’s a
terrible name.  I’d love to change
it.”  And she said, “Great, so you
should come up with some alternate titles!”  I was so crestfallen. I was really hoping she would tell me
what to call it. What do you mean I have to name my own book?!! The horror! The
suffering! I ended up mass emailing my friends and listing out words that connected
to the themes of my book. Then we all played MadLibs until we’d arrived at the
far more appropriate and fun Bulletproof Mascara.
But I have to admit that the horror of naming my own stories
remains. Toward that end I have narrowed down the field of names to a top three
and I’m hoping that you – my internet friends – will help me pick.  What’s your vote?  Which one would you want to read?

Bethany Maines is the author of The Carrie Mae Mysteries, as well as Tales from the City of Destiny. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video or catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com.  

Morals & The Neighbors

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by Bethany Maines

So, I’m pretty sure my neighbor’s live-in boyfriend is a
drug dealer. Now, on one hand, this really annoys the crap out of me. Such
activity attracts a grungy, unwashed, tattooed smoker kind of crowd that hold
loud, outdoor parties with clouds of pot smoke drifting over the hedge. Then
there’s the fact that their life style brings an increased risk factor to the
area.  Also, I kind of think one of
their dogs died because it “ate that whole nugget.”  I’m not entirely sure what amount or type of drug a nugget
is, but I’m pretty sure that it can’t be good for a fat, old bulldog.
On the other hand, since Scruffy Boyfriend moved in, the
home maintenance is up and so are the weird, crime ridden stories I hear over
the hedge. Here I was just pondering what kind of mind set one of my characters
would need to indulge casually in crime and then Scruffy Boyfriend moves in
next door.  Suddenly, I have a case
study of how to do a drug deal one lawn over. This is fascinating stuff. Not to
mention the fact that Scruffy Boyfriend is actually forcing Neighbor Girl into
home maintenance. Up until recently, she’d simply been tossing bags of garbage
over the back fence to pile by the garage door.  Upon discovering this he freaked out and insisted she clean
up because he assumed (correctly) that it was only a matter of time before a
neighbor got annoyed and turned them in – can’t have city officials visiting
your place of illegal business.
But there are moral considerations at stake. Like, is it
wrong to turn him in once I’ve learned all I need for my story? Is it wrong to
rename my wireless network FBI Surveillance Van to mess with their heads?  Is it ok to not turn in Scruffy
Boyfriend because I don’t think I can take Neighbor Girl’s dating anymore?  If only I could skip to the end like a
Choose Your Own Adventure to see how things turn out.

Bethany Maines is
the author of the Carrie Mae Mystery Series (Bulletproof Mascara, Compact With the Devil and Supporting
the Girls) and the Tales From the City of Destiny Series. Catch up
with her at www.bethanymaines.com or check out the new Carrie Mae youtube video.

Whodunit? Me!

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by Bethany Maines

On my recent trip to Iceland we were watching the BBC
channel in the hotel room before going to bed (the entertainment value of the
Icelandic Shopping Network could only last so long) and I caught a fun segment
about the British Library which is showing an exhibit called Murder in theLibrary: An A-Z of Crime Fiction. The exhibit looks at the development of the
whodunit genre and features the “10 Commandments” of Monsignor Ronald
Knox. 
If you haven’t looked up the good Monsignor’s rules they
basically consist of some guidelines to prevent the author from pulling
solutions to a problem out of thin air and keep a story based in reality.  The rules hold up pretty well even over
80 years after being written – except for that one about the Chinamen.  I’m not really sure what that rule was
attempting to accomplish, but we’ll hope that it wasn’t as racist as it
sounds. 
Anyway, once I returned home I did a quick google on the
exhibit and found an interesting article that covered the rules and posed the
question: Is the Whodunit dead? Has the reading public moved on to thrillers,
true crime and procedurals?  Is the
Whodunit now a passé relic of an older time?
Well, I have to say that if I took a survey of the authors
on this blog that the answer would be a definitive, “No!” The Whodunit is alive
and well on the Stilletto Blog – whether it’s Joelle Charbonneau’s roller
skating heroine cleaning up a small town mysteries or Maggie Barbieri’s college
professor solving murders with the help of a handsome NYPD homicide detective –
our gang write crimes that get solved.
It’s my personal theory that books, like music, no longer
have one mainstream genre that is overwhelmingly popular. The world has more
readers than ever and that allows readers to pick the specific genre that
appeals to them.  The Whodunit may
no longer be THE thing to read, but I don’t think it’s being read any
less.  In fact – I’m about to start
reading a new one today.  

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It…

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by Bethany Maines

It’s a new year! And you know what that means? Time for
resolutions! Personally, I resolve to stop obsessively watching old episodes of
the West Wing. (Actually, I really don’t, but in public we’re going to pretend
that I do because it’s embarrassing to obsess over a show that’s over a decade
old.) I’m also making the usual one about going to the gym more and eating more
vegetables. Which is also my husband’s resolution.  Only he’s far more serious about it than I am.  He’s actually resolving to try eating meat
free a couple of days a week. I fully support this idea, but it has kind of put
a kink into my regular dinner making plans. I just don’t have a repertoire of
vegetarian recipes yet. He’s been contributing some fun new meals and an
oil-free hummus recipe that is highly delicious, if slightly over the top in
roasted garlic, but we’re still low in the whip-something-up-in-a-pinch
vegetarian recipe department. So that will be my 2013 challenge – learn to cook
vegetarian.

If that weren’t enough of a challenge I’ve also decided that
2013 is the year that I will be putting out a new series of short stories. I’ll
be trying out new characters, self-publishing, and vegetarian cooking all in
one year and I don’t mind telling you that I’m a little bit worried about it
all. I’ll admit, mostly I’m worried about the cooking. I don’t like mushrooms
and every other vegetarian recipe seems to feature mushrooms, but the
self-publishing and new characters are also weighing a bit on my mind. I really
don’t want to starve while in the midst of a new creative endeavor. Not that I
will starve. I’m pretty sure I’ve got enough fat reserves that I can subsist until at least February before I actually start to starve, but if I go on steak
consuming rampage I’ll be blaming the great profession of writing. I cannot be
expected to produce sublime creative work or even moderately entertaining
creative work on a protein deficit.
And so, dear Stiletto followers, if you wish for a sneak
peek of my paranormal adventure Tacoma series you may visit
CityofDestinyStories.com. The first story, The Dragon Incident will be released
next week and I will give a free copy to the person who submits the best meat
free recipe between now and January fifteenth.  You may leave a recipe in the comments or email it to me at carriemae.agent@gmail.com! And
please remember… I hate mushrooms.

The Other POV

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by Bethany Maines

Tis the season again. 
The political season that is. 
And Washington State being Washington State we’re facing a couple of
contentious issues, including gay marriage, marijuana legalization for everyone
over 21, and that old chestnut, the Presidential race.  Although, it should be noted that since
we are Washington State the REAL hippies are against the marijuana legalization
initiative because it doesn’t go far enough.

I strongly believe in our democracy and I do my best to
learn what I can about the issues and cast my vote accordingly. But I have to say it’s a bit of childhood dream dashed to
discover that frequently both sides of an issue have points in their favor.
What happened to absolute certainty and knowing which way to go?
Who wants to grow up and see the other guy’s point of view?  It makes me want to curl up on the
couch and watch Rio Bravo (or Eldorado, really doesn’t matter which) because
you know where you’re at with a John Wayne movie.
Although, it has recently come to my attention through this great blog entry by Anne Kreamer for the Harvard Business Review that my mother
may have ruined my ability to see the world in black and white. By encouraging
me to read fiction my heartless mother was teaching me to how to be empathetic
and how to build a “theory of mind” (the ability to interpret and respond to
those different from us).  What was
she thinking?  Oh wait, I can
totally understand what she was thinking because I have the skill to see the
world from her perspective.  Why,
Mom, why??!!!
While being able to think from another point of view may
have ruined my black hat/white hat theory of politics, it has served me well in
writing.  One the tricks I find
most useful for teasing out a plot tangle is to write out a synopsis of the
story from the Villains point of view. With all my attention being focused on
the hero or heroine sometimes I’ll make the error of simply moving my Bad Guy
off stage.  For all intents and
purposes he’s just out there in the wings, twiddling his thumbs, and waiting
for his cue to come in and twirl his moustache and chew a bit of scenery.  But when I write the story from his POV
I realize that those plot holes have been holes because I haven’t been giving
the Villain a chance to actually be a person. Real people have goals and
motivations beyond moustache twirling and the story only gets better when I let
my Baddy show there’s more to him than an awesome moustache.  And although moustaches are great, I
think we can all agree that no one will ever really be able to compete with Sam Elliot, and my Villains probably shouldn’t even try.

Bethany Maines
is the author of Bulletproof Mascara, Compact With the Devil and
Supporting the Girls.  Catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com or check out the new Carrie
Mae youtube
video.

Is there a Research Assistant out there?

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by Bethany Maines

I need to buy a new computer.  I can’t tell you how much this fills me with dread.  As a working graphic designer I use a
computer daily.  This leads some
people to think I know how computers work.  I don’t.  I know
how my programs work, but what causes them to function… That is the realm of IT
geek… er… professionals.  And
researching the proper specs for a new computer suitable for graphic design use
is more than a little tortuous. 
But it occurs to me that researching the computer is a bit
like me researching any other topic that I know nothing about and popping it
into a novel. There are usually three things that I need to find out – what I
want, what exists, and what I can afford. (i.e. I’d love an iPad that acted
like a real computer, but it doesn’t exist right now, and even if it did, I
probably couldn’t afford it.)  But
when it comes to novels the criteria has to shift slightly to: what I want my
character to do, what a real nuclear physicist/Quetzalcoatl/poker
player/whatever would do, and what I have the length to explain. 
Having plotted my story I know that my character must
progress from point A to point B, after overcoming obstacles X, Y, and Z.  The way in which he overcomes said
obstacles is dependent on his history, knowledge, personality, and
profession.  So I sketch out what I
think is likely for my character and then I do some research to see if my ideas
are realistic, ludicrous, or just mildly improbable.
The internet is an invaluable tool for starting such
research because it has more bizarre articles on any topic you can possibly
dream up.  (My favorite random
article of the week? Why Time Travel Stories Should be Messy) Unfortunately,
the internet often lies.  So there
has to be a lot of double-checking to find out if Quetzalcoatl was a priest, an
Aztec god, or a Spanish immigrant.
The next research tool is an actual poker player or
archaeologist specializing in the Aztecs who has spent years researching the
topic at hand.  These are the kind
of people who will tell you about fascinating disemboweling rituals and may
also be kind of pissed if you don’t get the details right, so be sure to take
notes.  On the up side, they’re
usually really excited that someone is taking an interest in their topic, so
they will tell everything you could possibly want to know about current Quetzalcoatl
theory. 
And the third research option is to travel to Mexico and
investigate the Great Pyramid at Cholula yourself.  Which, I’m sure you’ll all agree is a bit on the expensive
and time consuming side.  It’s also
the option that I would totally take if I weren’t just looking to fill in the
blanks on a 10,000 word short story. 
Yeah, I think I’ll head back to the Reference section of Wikipedia to
see what I can find.  Anything that
lets me avoid looking at computer specs.

Bethany Maines is the author of Bulletproof Mascara, Compact With the Devil and Supporting the Girls.  Catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com or check out the new Carrie Mae youtube video.

One More Blog About Twilight

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or  I Know, I Can’t Believe We’re Still Talking About It Either
by Bethany Maines
A friend of mine and I were comparing notes on the Twilight
series, which she loved and I mildly enjoyed enough to make it through the
first book and then wikipedia the plots of the others so I could find out what
happened in the end.  Our
discussion centered on the fact that much of the media portrays Bella as a
passive, whiny person who contrasts poorly with the likes of Hermione, Buffy,
Katniss or Leia.  My friend thought
that since Bella didn’t have super powers that she would never compare well in
any competition with Buffy et all. 
I thought that while some of the media interpretation of her whininess
is undeserved, that Bella, super powers or not, just isn’t much of a strong
feminist role model.  The argument
eventually concluded with, “Yeah, well, you know what’s feminist? Writing
whatever you want and not having to censor yourself because feminists won’t
like it.”  Oh, snap. Point and
match. 
But I think there’s another reason that Bella isn’t an
apples to apples comparison to Buffy, Hermione, or Leia.  Each of those three happened upon love
while pursuing a greater cause. 
They had epic events with some love.  But Bella flipped that around – she fell in love and then
had a few epic events. And of those two scenario’s, which sounds more likely to
happen to your average teenager?  I
don’t wonder that Bella resonates with a generation ­– falling in love, getting
depressed, getting back together, it’s all part and parcel of being a
teen. 
But… I just don’t like the decisions that Bella made. As a
kid I thought Eowyn (LoTR), Esther (Bible), and Leia (Star Wars) were
awesome.  Smart, strong, sexy women
with a rebellious streak and a thing for royalty (except for Leia, who of
course, liked scruffy looking nerf herders).  My parents went out of their way to point out good role
models because they wanted me to know that women could do whatever they
wanted.  But what if I had wanted
to be married at 18 to my on-again off-again boyfriend like Bella did?  That would not have gone over well with
anyone in my family except for my really sexist grandmother. If my best friend
in high-school had been Bella, I would have been fairly horrified at her
decision making skills, and chalked it up to an a broken family and low
self-esteem.
I know, I know, Twilight is just a fiction novel – not a
how-to manual for life.  It’s a
romantic story that features star-crossed true-love and a happy ending.  But if I ever have any offspring of the
female persuasion I won’t be pointing out Bella; I’ll be pointing at Stephenie
Meyer and saying, “Look how she wrote a book that touched the lives of millions
of people – you can do that to!”  
Bethany Maines is the author of Bulletproof Mascara, Compact With the Devil and Supporting the Girls.  Catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com or check out the new Carrie Mae youtube video.

V-Day is Upon Us

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And You Should Pass the Chocolate
By Bethany Maines

The ads for that certain holiday have started already. You know the pink, frilly, and frequently scantily clad ads I’m referring to. They also come in diamond and/or chocolate covered versions, but they all say pretty much the same thing: buy, buy, buy and if you don’t buy, or someone isn’t buying for you, then your life sucks. Number one, I generally have a problem with ads that try to make me feel bad about myself. And number two, I think it’s possible that I was born with a genetic disorder referred to as Lowdramatitis. For the record, problem number three is that I think it’s rude to show someone chocolate without instantly providing some.

Anyway, back to my genetic disorder. People suffering from Lowdramatitis have a tendency to say things like “Seriously?” during key moments in dramatic films, snort loudly at just about anything teenagers say, and exist in a state of incomprehension during a friend’s monologue about their dating life. (Apparently, “So… you can’t just call him?” is never an appropriate question.)

So every year, as the hype of Valentine’s Day rolls around, I also find myself rolling my eyes. Which is why I thought for years that I suffered from Lowromantitis. I thought my impatience with the stupidity of others was an indication that I didn’t like romance. This, my friends, is not true. I like romance. I like it when my guy brings me flowers and says sweet things and what-not. I quite enjoy the what-not. What I don’t like is when the girl trips in a horror movie simply because someone wanted to put in that piece of music where the string section goes eeeeee-eee-eeeeeeeeee. I just hate inconsistent character development, if nothing else.

Along that same topic, I recently read a blog about the ratings system for Romance novels. (If you’re dying to know… It’s Time to Revamp our Sensuality Ratings) It was an interesting glimpse into a genre that I rarely read, and that hinted at the genre politics boiling away over there in the Romance section. Which is always funny when you write for another genre and not in the least bit funny when you do. But it got me to thinking that while I rarely read romance and I get seriously impatient with adult characters that act with all the impulsivity and sanity of teenagers (Yes, Three Weissmans of Westport, I’m looking at you), and I’m not sure I want to read books that need a rating system on a regular basis, I really do prefer books that have an element of romance in them. Which is probably why I write genre benders that mix in a little mystery, action, and romance all at the same time. I could try to explain why I added humor to the mix, but we’d probably be here all night and someone would have to call Freud. What they would call him, I don’t know, but they could call him.

Missing: One Brain

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by Bethany Maines

The Girls all got together last weekend. We drooped around the place like we were wearing white dresses and existing in the opening chapter of the Great Gatsby, while our dudes seemed to be full of unending pep and chit-chatted the night away. This might be because the girls over-committed to weekend plans and all of us were short on sleep. Or as I prefer to think – it’s because our brains were removed by an alien brain sucker.

Seriously, I used to be able to follow a linear thought. I didn’t always zone out while someone was talking. I used to be able to work on something for at least an hour before I would wander off.  And I’m pretty sure I could do all of that before Christmas.  Now it’s like someone’s removed my brain and replaced it with dryer lint.

Partially, I blame the Northwest winter. The worst part of the year is from January to April when the weather settles into an unending pattern of grey, over-cast days, punctuated with drizzle, rain, almost rain, mist, fog, and the occasional downpour or drift of snow. It’s weather designed for hibernation, which, let’s face it, coming down off the holiday cookie high is all I really want to do. And this is the time that the government has decided that I should work on taxes for the business. If the aliens didn’t get my brain, I’m pretty sure the tax-man did.

Anyway, back to the girls. My particular set of girls met through aerobic kickboxing, karate, and college. At this point in our relationships, we’ve managed to weather the storms of divorces, weddings, break-ups, cross country moves, and babies. We’re all pretty sure the others are crazy, and we’re probably all correct. But it occurred to me, as I zoned out on my friend’s couch, surrounded by the debris of dinner and Christmas presents, periodically accepting and then returning the toys that the three-year old handed me, that even if my brain had been sucked out, that my friends clearly still liked me. Which is a bit of a relief, and not at all guaranteed when a friendship starts.  It’s nice to go to a place where, if one’s brain has been replaced with lint, that no demands are made and they provide with you with cake on a stick.

And so in this new year, it is my wish that all of you find such a safe place and good friends and, of course, cake-pops. Also, if you find my brain, please give it a good rinse and send it home.