Tag Archive for: gratitude

Burning Your Zozobra

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While one half of our nation rejoices this week and the other half wonders what went wrong, here comes Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukah, when we’re all thrown together at friends’ parties and family reunions. Finding common ground where we can stand together may be difficult as we tiptoe around each other’s feelings after the election.

Four years ago, it also felt like our national unity had frayed, both physically (the pandemic) and culturally (we vs. them). Back then, I wrote a guest post for Jungle Red Writers about a new word I’d learned from an article in The Conversation. This week, our local newspaper reprinted the original essay.

The word is zozobra.

In Spanish, it means “anguish, anxiety, or gloom,” which many of us suffered from in those fear-ridden times.

https://burnzozobra.comI’ve recently heard that in Santa Fe, New Mexico there’s an annual Summer Festival in which they burn an ugly zozobra in effigy as an attempt to chase the gloom away.

And yet, barring a truly effective alternative to lighten our national funk, what better time is there than Thanksgiving to remind us of what’s truly meaningful in life? For me, that includes friends and family (regardless of political differences), the health that still sustains us, and a sense of purpose that keeps us engaged in the world.

Yes, bad things happen every day, and sometimes they happen to us.

But what if we try to minimize the complaining and instead, focus on the positive things we can do to make life better for ourselves and others.

It helps to practice gratitude for the small things that bring us joy.

I am grateful for family and friends, and for being accepted into a writing community where colleagues honor and respect one another, where we share our ups and downs in the wacky world of publishing. To my Stiletto sisters, and to Sisters in Crime and beyond, I would be bereft without your continued friendship and support.

And to our readers! Thank you for reading!

We’re all in this together, come what may. Tomorrow is World Kindness Day. Maybe we could start with that.

Or, if you’re not quite ready to let go of your anxiety, you could plan your very own Zozobra Festival and exorcise the beast.

What are you grateful for today?

Please tell us in the comment section below.

 

Gay Yellen is the author of the  award-winning Samantha Newman Mysteries, including The Body Business, The Body Next Door, and The Body in the News! 

Now available from your favorite bookseller. Readers and book clubs, please contact me at GayYellen.com.

 

 

 

 

 

Gay Yellen: A Writer’s Thanksgiving

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The twining path…


Like a double helix, a writer’s journey can follow a twisty trail. One strand—the rational, professional one—involves studying the works of others, honing your own craft, unlocking a door to publishing, and eventually (hopefully) connecting with readers.

The second strand can be an emotional mind-trip filled with unsettling questions. Is my work good enough? Why is that writer so successful? How can I be successful, too?

This emotional trip is the tricky one. It’s easy to find lists of writers deemed better or more successful by certain measures. What should matter to a writer is how they respond to such information. With admiration… or envy? 

Author-envy can eat a writer alive and stifle creativity. On the other hand, clear-eyed respect for another’s success may lead to the discovery of what it takes to improve. Heartfelt admiration—and gratitude—can move us closer to our own dreams.

What makes writers so special?

When I became a full-time author, I was overjoyed to find the camaraderie and the willingness to help one another that thrives in abundance in the writing community. It feels like family here.

Successful writers form personal bonds, share professional tips, read and critique each other’s books, and genuinely root for one another. The Stiletto Gang is an example.

Here, authors come together to trade insights, bits of book news, and offer glimpses into our personal lives, as well as our professional wins and woes. And we introduce our own followers to the rest of authors in the Gang. Countless other bloggers do the same in other spaces.

It’s hard to find a profession that embodies such an open and welcoming ethos. Can you name another enterprise whose members so willingly share their secret sauce with the competition?
Gratitude.

I deeply appreciate my writing community, from the veterans who teach to the newbies who are eager to learn. I’m grateful to the people who manage our writers’ groups and who continue to support their members.

This year, when Thanksgiving celebrations may not be like those we know, there’s all the more reason to appreciate the things that continue to sustain us. So, here’s a huge thank-you to writers everywhere who generously share their knowledge and platforms and public spaces with colleagues.
And special thanks to readers…

Dear readers, please know that you are the most important part of our community. Thank you for reading our books, for leaving your reviews on our book sales sites, and for recommending them to your friends. We could not keep our writing spirits up without you. You brighten our lives.

What about you? What are you thankful for this year?

Gay Yellen was a magazine and book editor before she began the award-winning Samantha Newman Mystery Series, which includes The Body Business and The Body Next Door. Book #3 in the series is slated for release in 2021.


Gay would love to hear from you, here, on Facebook, or at her website, GayYellen.com.


When Gratitude Isn’t Easy

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by J.M. Phillippe

The common wisdom is that a daily practice of gratitude is not only good for the soul, it is also good for your mental health. As a therapist, I often help my clients focus on the positive in their life, and on their own strengths. Strengths-focus is the heart of Positive Psychology, “the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive.” Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive psychology wanted to find a way to help people “to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.” He found it in practices of strength-based focus on positivity.

I am a huge fan (and amateur practitioner of) positive psychology, so I get all the health benefits of gratitude. But lately, I have found gratitude to be particularly challenging — I am having a hard time staying focused on what is good.

Right now, there is a lot of hurt in the world. Here in the US, we have water protectors at Standing Rock getting hosed down in freezing water, and the Southern Poverty Law Center reporting a high number of incidents of hate crimes since the Presidential Election. My clinical clients are struggling — some have been targeted by hate crimes themselves and most are afraid of what will happen next. Plus, there is still a lot of bad things happening outside our country, the most recent being yet another huge natural disaster in Japan (BIG earthquake). In the midst of all these horrible things, how do you stay focused on the strengths? How do you continue to practice gratitude?

I want to remind people that gratitude is not an absolute feeling. It’s not something that requires that you feel it, and only it. Gratitude is an “and”, not a “but”. There are horrible things happening in the world, “and” I am thankful that most of the people I love are safe and sound. There is a lot of fear and hate floating around, and I am grateful that people are still able to come together under the umbrella of love. The “and” is not trying to eliminate, or even counter, everything that comes before. Gratitude is not about balance — some things are so horrible a simple expression of thankfullness could never even begin to counter them. Gratitude is a practice of opening up all the parts of us that are afraid, sad, and overwhelmed just enough to let some of the good in — and some of the good out. It is the the thing that lets us keep the words of Mr. Rogers in mind:

Gratitude reminds us that we are strong — is the very act of focusing on strengths. It says, life is hard, and I am capable enough, talented enough, and brave enough to handle it. Life is hard, and it is beautiful, and worth living.
It is when gratitude is the hardest to find that we most need to look for it, to look for the “and” as a way to help bolster us against everything that comes before. This Thanksgiving I will be far away from family, and still reeling from the events of the last few weeks, and still worried about the future. And I will be with friends, will be eating bountiful food in relative safety, and will be able to find moments of laughter to share. Life is never just one thing. This year, I am grateful for “and.”
*     *     *
J.M. Phillippe is the author of Perfect Likeness and the newly released short story The Sight. She has lived in the deserts of California, the suburbs of Seattle, and the mad rush of New York City. She worked as a freelance journalist before earning a masters’ in social work. She works as a therapist in Brooklyn, New York and spends her free-time decorating her tiny apartment to her cat Oscar Wilde’s liking, drinking cider at her favorite British-style pub, and training to be the next Karate Kid, one wax-on at a time.

Grateful – With or Without (Horrors!) Wine

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We’ve been talking (off and on) about gratitude this month.
I poked around to some of the sites I routinely follow and have loved all the
recognition this month that as individuals, as a community, (and totally avoiding politics
here, but I’m gonna say it anyway) and as a nation, there’s a lot to celebrate.
There’s so much good going on, but it’s easy to focus on the Not So Good (or
the absolutely abysmal).
Tonight as I sip a glass of wine (always grateful to the
people who make wine), I keep thinking about a challenge I read. The challenge
is to focusing on the good things. Okay, admit it. Do you beat
yourself up over the fumbles, the thing you might could’ve done better, and
bring yourself down in the process? (Yeah, I might’ve done that.) Or do you
quietly (or loudly if that’s your style 😉 ) give thanks for the good things in
your life?
I’m choosing to focus on the good. That we can reach out to
each other within the writing community — and beyond it to our local town or
whatever sphere you can touch — and make things better.
I’ll save talk about community service for another post. Tonight,
rather than wallow in the Not So Good, I’m celebrating the Good Things.
This week I’m savoring that after a year and a half in a
tiny apartment (which was also my day job office), we moved into our new house!
I walk through the rooms and revel in the space. (I have a dining table again.
A place to have friends over where they can actually sit down.) And art that’s been in storage for
too long is slowly finding a new place in our home.  
I’m grateful for family. My daughter asked if she and her
fiancé could have their engagement pictures taken at our house. I’m so happy
for the two of them, that they found each other and that they want to include us
as they forge a life together.
I’m grateful for friends on so many levels. Old friends who
are helping me out professionally and new friends who are easing the transition
into a new home and new options for the future.
What are you savoring
this week? What are you grateful for?

And because it’s So
About The Money’s book birthday, I’m putting together a present for my
readers, because I’m always grateful when people choose to spend their time
with my characters. 

Watch my Facebook page for details or sign up for the newsletter that I swear I’m finally going to send out. 





Cathy Perkins
started writing when recurring characters and dialogue populated her day job commuting
daydreams. Fortunately, that first novel lives under the bed, but she was
hooked on the joy of creating stories. When not writing, she can be found doing
battle with the beavers over the pond height or setting off on another travel
adventure. Born and raised in South Carolina, she now lives in Washington with
her husband, children, several dogs and the resident deer herd.

You can also visit her online at the following places:
 Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

Dystopian Games

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You’re stuck in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean with 8
strangers and no food or water, who do you eat first?
Dystopian novels have held a prominent place on our National
reading lists for the last few years and while I occasionally enjoy a jaunt into the
horrific futures that we could create for ourselves they don’t really speak to
me.  To me they frequently seem like the
ultimate lifeboat game. While occasionally it’s fun to work through the logic
of how to survive in a treacherous situation, the real answer to any lifeboat
game is to not get stuck in the lifeboat in the first place. 
I was reminded of this principle recently when I visited a
conference for my day job (graphic design). The conference was for public works
personnel (AKA everyone who keeps your city functioning) and their lunch
speaker spoke on how their department had handled an earthquake.  From personnel rotation, calling in
reinforcements, clearing roadways, reviewing housing safety, clean up – this department
moved swiftly with the goal of maintaining safety and returning their town to
normal in the shortest amount of time possible (and they did a great job).  But having just read a dystopian novel I was
struck by the realization that not one person in the room was thinking… “Bob, I’d
eat Bob.”  They weren’t playing the game –
they were strategizing about how to not get stuck on the lifeboat.

All of this led to four thoughts.  One – I’m incredibly grateful for our public
works personnel.  From sewer maintenance,
to bridge engineers, to water management, they deserve more recognition than
they get.  Two – All of you great public
employees are screwing up a perfectly good dystopian plot line RIGHT NOW.   We’re not supposed to be coming together to
overcome a natural disaster and working for the common good!  Come on, people.  Where is the divisive hatred and the reaching
for the shotguns? That’s it; I’m breaking out the zombies.  Bob is going to be dinner if I have to have
three plot contrivances before breakfast.  Three – We as society need to invest more in
infrastructure.  And four – Because we
don’t invest more in infrastructure we all need to have 3 days to 2 weeks of
supplies on hand depending on where you live. 
Be prepared. Don’t let a dystopian novel happen to you.
***
Bethany Maines is the author of the Carrie
Mae Mysteries, Wild Waters, Tales
from the City of Destiny and An
Unseen Current.  You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.

Another Year Older and Counting Blessings

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Yesterday was my birthday. The week leading up to it was
full of chaos and turmoil caused by one of those people who have no empathy or
conscience and walk around making life difficult for everyone. In the past, I
would have tried to convince this person how wrong it was to do the things she
was doing to others. I’m older and wiser now. These folks just don’t care, and
they will bend the very shape of reality to avoid admitting they were wrong or
made a mistake. Now, I pick my battles and try to keep all that toxicity away
from myself. I did everything I could to help the victims and then moved on.
In this past year, I have noticed a growing sense of
hostility and aggression out in the world around us—in politics, in traffic, in
most places I look. The only way I know to truly combat it is to try to counter
it with loving, peaceful acts and thoughts. But when so many around us are acting
out, it’s hard to keep thinking and acting in a positive manner.
One technique that helps me is to focus on gratitude and the
many blessings I’ve received. The angry people I know have received multitudes
of blessings, but somehow they remain oblivious to them and filled with
resentment and rage. Every day, I make a conscious choice not to be like them.
Sometimes all I can do to follow through on that choice is to avoid taking out
my irritation on everyone around me. Other days, I can contribute some peace
and joy to the atmosphere around me.
This year, all of my three children are living in their
hometown with me for the first time in fifteen years. That’s a huge blessing. I
have well-received novels that are selling well. This is a dream come true. I am making a living (of
sorts) by making up stories and writing them down. That’s another great
blessing.  The year began with health
scares for me and included more for two of my children, all of which came to
nothing—another blessing of major magnitude. And the list goes on and on.
I believe that, if those cutting off people in traffic or
committing hostile or underhanded acts against others in the workplace or
attacking others viciously on the internet would take a moment to look at their
lives, they, too, would find reasons for gratitude. As my grandmother used to
say, “Any day I can suck in breath and stand up on my own feet gives me reason
right there to be thankful.” It’s when we live blind to the miracles of our daily
lives that we turn sour and mean.
So I’m beginning this new personal year with gratitude and
recognition of the blessings that surround me, and I hope to continue in that
vein for the entire year. One thing I truly appreciate is this blog—the
wonderful women who are part of it with me and the great people who visit it
and connect with us.
What about you? Have you noticed the rise in uncivil
behavior lately? How do you deal with it? What are the things you’re grateful
for? What are your blessings and little and big miracles?
NOTE: Something I’m not happy about is my inability to
comment on this blog or reply to others’ comments right now. I’m trying to get
answers to this problem from Blogger, but until then, please note that, if you
leave a comment, I will respond to it on The Stiletto Gang Facebook page, which
does recognize my existence—at least at this moment.