There’s a hashtag on Twitter for people who are writing –
#amwriting. An innocuous hashtag for tracking other writers, but sometimes… it
can be just a little bit smug. And given the nature of writers I was wondering
if we could have a more honest hashtag? #amsurfingtheweb #amwatchingcatvideos
#amdoinganythingbutwriting

Right now I’m doing anything but working on the outline of
Carrie Mae Book 4.  Because, no, I don’t
know how they ended up in a brawl to the death among the Amsterdam tulips.  Can’t I just wave my magic writer wand, do a
little jazz hands, and write by the seat of my pants? #pantsingit  The problem with pantsing it, is that I am no
Louis L’Amour.  Mr. L’Amour apparently
did not believe in rewrites or edits; he believed that rewrites killed the
freshness of the story.  Or he believed
that we would buy whatever he wrote. #hewasright  When I attempt to pants it, my stories go
sideways and I end up writing entire chapters that sound like vacation
brochures. #needavacation No story was ever moved forward by a character
actually stopping to smell the roses, or in my case, tulips.  Unless, of course, he got wacked on the head
while bending to smell one. #deathbytulip #nameformynextnovel #dontstealit
#mine

So here I am, forced into the drudgery of outlining.  Coming up with the answers before I even know
what all the questions are. Or in my case, procrastinating for all I’m worth.
#procrastination! I could say that I’m mulling it over or letting it marinate,
but let’s face it, at no point in my life have I ever mulled something over
while doing the dishes.  The only thing I
think while doing the dishes is that dishes suck and we all need to stop eating
so there will be less dishes.  #seriously
It’s productivity through hatred of the other available task.
#atleastsomethinggotdone Eventually, I’ll have to return to the outline –
figure out the who, why, where and how.  Eventually,
I will have to do the research and plug the plot holes.  Eventually, I will actually have to write.  #amwriting  
Sigh.  Can’t I be #amvacuuming instead?  

Bethany Maines is the author of the Carrie
Mae Mysteries, Tales from the City of
Destiny and the forthcoming An Unseen
Current.  You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.