Tag Archive for: Internet dating

Dating in the 21st Century

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The last two weeks have been busy ones in the household of the Northern half of Evelyn David. It was my husband’s birthday and our anniversary. Though he’s a (very, very proud) grandfather now, in the important ways, he’s still the intelligent, kind, generous, funny seventeen-year-old guy who picked me up in his Dad’s Oldsmobile to take me to my junior prom. His once fiery red hair is now softened with white, but he’s still seriously handsome with a killer smile. He is the smartest guy I know. If you’re looking for someone to be your lifeline on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire,” call him. He has an amazing capacity to know something about everything. He is a rock in a crisis; a marshmallow when it comes to Ms. Riley, our granddaughter.

Without sounding too much like an old fogey, although I readily admit that I am one, I’m old-fashioned about courtship. Though I’ve encouraged my unmarried son and daughter to try Internet dating, in fact, there is something about the pre-Match.com method of girl meets boy, face-to-face, and actually goes out on dates (not e-chats) that is appealing. It was love at first sight for me, and I didn’t over-analyze it. My gut instinct told me this guy was a keeper.

Are we raising a generation who are personally risk-averse, while professionally daring? When I was in my twenties, holding on to the same job for 25 years was considered a smart career move. Today if you’re in the same job for 5 years, you’re either President of the company or stagnant. It seems to me that our kids have no trouble changing jobs or partners. I understand that in this new corporate environment there is no incentive to be loyal to one company or brand, but how about in love?

Is the corporate “it’s just business” environment carrying over to personal relationships as well? Is the skyrocketing divorce rate evidence of that? I once thought that Internet dating sites were a good alternative to the bar scene. I understood that once you had graduated from college, it was harder to meet potential mates. Certainly, you didn’t want to date anyone with whom you worked – but where else would you meet someone if you were working long hours?

But now I’ve seen the jaded side of these web match-ups. Sure I can list several very happily married couples who met on one of those sites. But I can also point to countless under-30-somethings who spend a long time chatting on-line with various potential love interests without ever committing to meeting in person. At some point, it seems to me, you’ve got to bite the bullet. You’ve got to invest in face time. They would argue that the pre-date dating winnows out the losers in the group. I suspect that it makes those verbally precocious more attractive and downplays those who may not be quite so glib, but have real substance.

Not sure where I end up on this modern-love dilemma. How about you Stiletto Faithful? What do you think about Internet matchup sites?

And in the meantime, Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to Pop-Pop.

Marian, aka Grandma, the Northern half of Evelyn David

Brianna Sullivan Mysteries – e-book series
I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Dog Days of Summer in Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
The Holiday Spirit(s) of Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
Undying Love in Lottawatah- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords
A Haunting in Lottawatah – Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

The Sullivan Investigation Series
Murder Drops the Ball (Spring 2011)
Murder Takes the Cake- Paperback – Kindle
Murder Off the Books- Paperback – Kindle
Riley Come Home (short story)- Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

Romances

Love Lessons – Kindle – Nook – Smashwords

Boy Meets Girl

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By Evelyn David

In Murder Off the Books, Mac Sullivan and Rachel Brenner meet cute. He suspects that her brother is a murderer, which may be a turn-on for some women, just not for Rachel. The scene is set for lots of banter and passive-aggressive flirting. Even the putative couple’ pets have a love-hate relationship. Whiskey, the Irish wolfhound, and Snickers, the butterball feline, snap, hiss, and snarl their way through the book, only to reach a detente (with Snickers on top of the refrigerator and Whiskey eating kitty kibble) at the end.

Making a love connection, in fiction or real life, ain’t easy.

An eHarmony poll reports that 19 percent of married couples surveyed met online. Seems a tad high, but on the other hand, I personally know four blissfully wedded couples who did make their first connection through one of the Internet dating sites. Once you’re out of school, it seems like the opportunity to meet eligible bachelors and bachelorettes is drastically reduced. This may just be a nervous mother talking, but I always figured any man my college daughter met on campus was safe; if she met him in a bar, then I was immediately into hyper-alert, “is this a serial killer,” mode. Okay, I agree that I’m not always completely or even partially sane about my kids’ safety.

But actually where are you going to meet potential suitors? You’re not supposed to date anyone from work (complications, maybe even lawsuits, if you break up). But if you’re spending 10 or more hours a day at your job – it doesn’t leave much time for socializing outside the office.

So if it’s not a bar or the workplace or the Internet, what’s the new scheme for Romeo and Juliet to find each other (and hopefully have a happier ending)?

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring BIG NEWS.

Two fun, quirky, clever mysteries for the price of one! Check out I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries, two short stories by Evelyn David now available on Kindle.

Hell on wheels or a psychic in a travel trailer?

Brianna Sullivan gave up her job finding missing luggage for the airlines in order to seek the freedom of the open road. Her first stop? The small town of Lottawatah, Oklahoma. Using her psychic abilities, Brianna takes on a multitude of jobs to earn gas money, help out the local police detective, and direct some troubled souls towards the light. Volume 1 of this series by Evelyn David contains two short stories – I Try Not To Drive Past Cemeteries and Dead But Not Buried in Lottawatah.

Download it today here

Now back to your regular programming.

Speed dating. It’s Nascar for the lovelorn. My son, under pressure from a friend who had recently had a nasty breakup, agreed to join him for this race to find a match. The basics of the evening were simple: 15 men, 15 women. One more criteria: everyone had to have a graduate degree. Interestingly, you didn’t have to be employed, just have a master’s degree or better, to sign-up for a love connection. The women were seated at individual tables, and the men moved from station to station, spending six minutes with each woman to discover if they had enough in common to warrant a second encounter. After the evening, you ranked the six individuals you’d like to see again, and if both parties indicated an interest, the organizers then provided the personal contact info.

My son, in one of his first encounters, asked a young woman what she did the previous weekend. “Slept,” she answered. He tried a different tack. “What do you like to do for fun?” Another simple answer: “Sleep.” Okay, he thought, not much to work with here.

I confess that I met my husband in high school, took him to my junior prom (not by covered wagon as my kids assume), and married right out of college. I’d make the same decision today – but if one of my kids wanted to get hitched right out of school, I’d think they were crazy. So much to see and do before settling down. Times have changed, indeed.

But the old story of “boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back is timeless.” The only question is whether boy can be dazzled enough in six minutes to warrant a second look.

Stiletto Faithful – what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on (or heard about)?

Marian aka the Northern half of Evelyn David

Murder Off the Books by Evelyn David
Murder Takes the Cake by Evelyn David
http://www.evelyndavid.com