Jodie Foster’s gracious, thoughtful, clever, impassioned (if
slightly confusing) speech at The Golden Globes captured the interest,
attention, and affection of most viewers. Although she never used the word
“gay,” the audience, both those in the theater and those watching on
TV, understood that it was a deliberate choice she was making in
“outing” herself – and she gave a clear explanation of why she has
chosen to remain private all these years. I admire and respect her as a
phenomenal actress, as well as believe she is a lovely person.

So I gotta ask – how is she friends with Mel Gibson, enough
that he was sitting at her table, right next to her, along with her children?

His arrests, public meltdowns, vitriolic drunken
anti-semitic, anti-gay, racist tirades have appalled most of us. The words he
has used would offend almost anyone. And yet, from the beginning, Jodie Foster
has been a strong supporter of Gibson – and insists that he is not really the
man who spews such hatred. “He’s not a perfect person,” she says. “He’s a
complicated person. That’s why I love him.” In another interview, given as
part of publicity for the film she directed and in which Gibson stars, she
said, “When you love a friend, you don’t abandon them when they are
struggling,” Of course, Mel is an undeniably gifted actor and director,
and ‘The Beaver’ is one of his most powerful and moving performances. But more
importantly, he is and has been a true and loyal friend. I hope I can help him
get through this dark moment.”

I am genuinely impressed by her strong sense of loyalty,
even if I wonder if it’s misplaced.

Then there is the friendship of Antonin Scalia and Ruth
Bader Ginsburg. I don’t think you could find two more divergent jurists. They are
literally at opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of judicial philosophy; he
is an unapologetic conservative, she is an equally proud liberal. But these two have
been best friends for more than 30 years. They and their spouses have spent
every New Year’s Eve together for decades. They even take trips together.

Which leads me to ask: what do we expect of our friends?
Clearly, I don’t want a clone of myself. I’ve got friends with whom I never
discuss politics because it will only lead to disagreement. We all know where
we stand on issues. But I also know that even if we don’t agree on candidates
or politics, we share common ground on fundamentals about family, religion,
service to others, or we have similar interests. I am told that Scalia and
Ginsburg both love music, especially opera, and, as Justice Ginsburg has explained, “I
can say one thing about Justice Scalia. He is one of the few people in the
world who can make me laugh, and I appreciate him for that.”

If such ideological opposites such as Foster/Gibson and
Scalia/Ginsburg can be friends, is that something we should all aspire to do?
Or is there a limit to friendship, a line which can’t be crossed?

Your thoughts?

Marian, the Northern half of Evelyn David