Tag Archive for: Susan McBride

In the Kingdom of Procrastinators

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It seems like procrastination is the theme of the week. Let me share some of my time-wasting secrets and tricks to avoid writing.

1. Cleaning: This is a good one because it makes you feel virtuous while you are clearly procrastinating. The minute writer’s block hits, I decide that it’s time to strip all of the beds, put all of the fancy attachments on the vacuum, and get out the Swiffer. Everyone in my family usually knows when Mom has writer’s block or is just plain old wasting time: the house is immaculate.

2. Check out the blogs: I start my morning by reading my favorite blogs, starting with the Stiletto Gang, except for Wednesday, obviously. This usually takes a solid twenty minutes. After all, where would I find out about the television shows that I missed the night before? Or what 684 commenters said about said shows? After I’m done checking out the blogs, I go to the New York Times web site to find out where the international markets closed. (I have no money, know nothing about money, yet find the ups and downs of both the domestic and international stock market fascinating. Go figure.)

3. Hang around on Facebook: This can waste, collectively, a good four to five hours a day, depending upon how serious I am about procrastinating. If I’m really in the mood, I even respond to those requests to post “25 Things Nobody Knows About You.” I’m an open book; if my friends don’t already know everything about me, I’d be surprised. Yet, here I go, listing things like “doesn’t like onions,” “thought Barry Manilow was sexy and her future husband when she was twelve,” “sings in the car.” Stuff like that. I figure I owe it to the other procrastinators out there to post interesting tidbits like this. How would they procrastinate otherwise?

4. Call Annie, Ceil, Carrie, Tina, and/or my mother and any other combination of friends and relatives: Most of them have caller ID. A lot of the time, they don’t answer the phone. Clearly, they are not procrastinators.

5. Look at shoes online: Doesn’t matter where…Zappos is a favorite, however. They have probably a million different pairs of shoes on their site, plus free shipping and returns. I can spend hours looking at different types of mules, sling backs, or pumps. Let’s not remember that I don’t cause or occasion to wear anything but sneakers and clogs. But having a website that you can peruse for hours that only has shoes is a godsend. Especially to a champion procrastinator.

6. Surf the web: Where else would I have learned that the remains of Gene Roddenberry (creator of “Star Trek”) and his wife were going to be shipped into outer space? Or that New Mexico has toughened its collection on used car sales? Or that David Beckham’s soccer team is negotiating to keep him? Next time you’re at a cocktail party and drop one of these juicy nuggets of information into the conversation, you can thank me and my endless procrastinating.

These are just a few of my techniques. Thanks to the tough love of my friend and fellow Stiletto gal, Susan McBride, I no longer a) check my book’s “number” on Amazon; b) Google myself; c) read reviews of my books online. But I’ve found other ways to waste time that are just as fulfilling.

What do you do to avoid the task of writing or anything else, for that matter? Procrastinating minds want to know…

Maggie Barbieri

Excuse My Manners (or Lack Thereof)

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by Susan McBride

I don’t claim to be an expert on etiquette. Everyone in my family has probably caught me talking with my mouth full once too often (although I try not to, really!). My Midwestern mother worked hard to instill a sense of etiquette in me, and I can still quote the infamous ditty about “Mabel.” If you’re unfamiliar, it goes like this: “Mabel, Mabel, if you’re able, get your elbows off the table.” I can’t imagine asking for anyone to pass the pepper without prefacing the request with a “please.” No, I was never sent for lessons in How to Use the Proper Fork like my debutantes in THE DEBS, or even to Little Miss Manners classes like Andy Kendricks, the debutante dropout in my mysteries. But I do know that one’s bread dish should be placed on the left and one’s drink on the right (something I remember by making a “b” and a “d” with the thumbs and fingers of each hand, a trick learned long ago).

I realize that everything I need to know about etiquette I learned in kindergarten, or at least by grade school. The basics my mother taught me way back when still seem to apply pretty well to almost everything I do, like these golden oldies:

**Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve (er, unless you can’t find a Kleenex and the hem of the tablecloth won’t reach that high).
**Don’t blow your nose in public (particularly if you honk like an elephant).
**Don’t put peas up your nose (hmm, I’m noticing a recurrent “nose” theme).
**Don’t swallow your gum, or it takes seven years to digest (I believe Wrigley’s did a study on this using the Doublemint Twins as guinea pigs, God rest their twisted intestines).
**Always wear clean underwear, because you never know when you may be in an accident (hence, my request for Victoria’s Secret gift cards last Christmas).
**Don’t run with scissors (though it did work for Augustine Burroughs, didn’t it?).
**Never sit with your knees apart (someone should tell Britney Spears about that one).

For the most part, these are excellent rules, and I break them only in extreme cases (say, if I can’t find a Kleenex). As a published author of 10 years who tries to be as well-mannered as possible, I’ve developed my own set of “Road Rules” for promoting books which I’m happy to share. Granted, I’m no Letitia Baldridge or Emily Post. More like Marge Simpson (whose directness I admire). If my pearls of wisdom seem obvious–or odd–well, it was late when I wrote this and my nightly cocktail of chamomile tea and Benadryl had already started to kick in, so cut me some slack.

**Cleanliness is next to Godliness. I don’t know how often the Man Upstairs (or Goddess Upstairs) showers, but I’ll bet it’s everyday, and almost certainly before a book signing. I can’t guarantee that smelling like Irish Spring will draw the buying hordes, but it makes a far better impression than reeking like unwashed gym socks.

*Be polite to fellow airport dwellers during travel delays. I figure it’s okay to talk to these strangers, as the people at your gate have already been prescreened to some extent. If they’re allowed to fly, you know they’re not on the terrorist watch list, and they’re not packing lighters, bottles with more than 3 ounces of fluid, or other weapons of mass destruction in their carry-on bags. And you never know whose conversation will become fodder for your writing some day. A layover in the Columbia, SC, airport years ago allowed me time to chat with an author from Mississippi who happened to be on her town’s debutante selection committee. Without her, I never would have heard the terms “debu-tank” and “debu-trash,” which I promptly stole for my DEBS series about Houston debutantes. See what I mean!

**Never rearrange a bookseller’s display to more prominently showcase your titles, unless you’ve got Nate the Decorator from “Oprah” with you and he’s re-doing the space on Ms. Winfrey’s dime. I know, I know…word on the street is that turning your covers face-out at every opportunity is mandatory. But it’s more polite to approach the bookseller and offer to sign any available stock (upon which “autographed” stickers will promptly be slapped), practically guaranteeing that your books will be turned cover-out or even moved to more expensive real estate, like an end-cap. Think about it: when booksellers visit your home, they aren’t allowed to rearrange your furniture. So fair’s fair.

**Always say “thank you” any time that people have gone out of their way to help you. If you don’t like writing notes on monogrammed stationery then a gracious email will suffice. Like my great aunt Gertrude always said, “A thank you is worth a thousand peas up your nose, so long as your legs are crossed and you’re wearing clean underwear.” That Gertie was a wise woman.

P.S. Thanks again to the fabulous ladies of the Stiletto Gang for inviting me to join their ranks. I look forward to posting the first Friday of the month from now on. And I promise to be on my best behavior or you can tattle to my mother.

Happy Holidays!

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The Stiletto Gang wishes you and yours the most joyous holiday season and all the best for a happy, healthy new year. See you bright and early January 5, 2009!

Maggie Barbieri
Evelyn David
Susan McBride
Marilyn Meredith

In Gratitude, Part I

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We at the Stiletto Gang have been in existence almost a year, by my accounting. It has been a lot of fun, blogging about this and that and learning about my fellow writers and all of you posters, who always let us know when we’re on the right track, and when we’ve ridden off the rails. We’ve prayed together, laughed together, and shared some excitement, like when new books come out. And we are all very grateful here that you take time out of your busy schedules to see what we have to say and how we have to say it and when you think we’re right on. Thank you for that.

I wanted to take the opportunity to acknowledge Marian, Marilyn, Rhonda, and Susan, who have become wonderful friends and sounding boards throughout the past year.

1. Marian, or the Northern Half of Evelyn David: Our Monday go-to girl, I remember back in January of this past year, we presented at a library in Vorhees, New Jersey, and had a fabulous time. Seeing her talk to some of the at-risk writers who came to hear our talk was inspirational, and although I already had met Marian once before, I was reminded of how special this woman was. It was at this event, as I shoveled pastry and coffee into my pie hole, that she asked me if I’d like to join the Stiletto Gang. There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation. Marian is a marketing force to be reckoned with. Me? Not so much. I was honored for the invite and I was not about to say no.

Marian has taught us the proper usage of “OY!” (my new favorite expression, peppered into ALL conversation), poo-poo-poo (correct my spelling, Marian…this is a catch-all and ward off for all bad things, I believe), and how to prepare Passover dinner correctly. (Not that I’ve done this yet. Maybe next year?) She has shared her thoughts on writing, family, and life and I for one, am extremely grateful for her insights.

2. Marilyn: Our friend to the Far West—thank you, too, for all of your marketing genius, but most of all for keeping us abreast of the goings on of your large, extended family. I don’t know how you keep them all straight! It has been a pleasure reading about your remembrances, hearing about your book signings and visits to writing conventions, and learning about the members of your family. I appreciate your “stop and take time to smell the roses” reminders every now and again; who of us don’t need those? And I enjoy learning from your vast experience. You are truly blessed, Marilyn, and we are lucky to have you with us on this venture and in the world.

3. Rhonda: Our Southern Evelyn. Someday, we’re going to sit at one of our kitchen counters and eat that apple cake, which I have yet to make (slacker that I am). Somehow, I just know, despite having never met, that we are kindred spirits. Rhonda is our techno-goddess—you’ve got a Stiletto problem, Rhonda’s got a solution. And her solution comes with patience, and I think a smile (I can only guess). Never in a bad mood, always willing to help, always looking for ways to keep our site fresh and vibrant. Rhonda doesn’t disappoint. She’s got a full-time job, a full-time writing gig, and a busy life (she actually takes care of her yard, from what I gather…something I can’t do for the life of me) and manages to do everything with aplomb. I look forward to the day, as I know Marian does, too, when we can meet.

4. Susan: Our newest Stiletto girl but the one whom I’ve known the longest, despite having never met in person. Back when “Murder 101” was just a twinkle in my and St. Martin’s eye, my editor said we needed some blurbs. She told me that she was going to go to Susan McBride, who she proclaimed “one of the nicest people she knew” and who might be willing to read the manuscript and comment. Well, if you bought my first book in hardcover, you’ll see that not only did Susan read and comment, she gave me a rave. And I think that went a long way in getting the book noticed by a readership who loved Susan’s Debutante Dropout Mysteries (I’m a HUGE fan) and were looking for something similar. Thank you, Susan. I’ll always be grateful to you for taking the time to take a chance on a new writer and for lending your support. And I’m thrilled that we have you for the Stiletto Gang once a month. Your thoughts on life and living are in complete agreement with ours, but I always learn something new. We’re both survivors and we’re finding our way in that designation but together, I’m sure we’ll forge new paths. Best of luck with the new “Debs” series—I, for one, am loving the first one!

I have so much to be grateful for this year but only six hundred words (I’m over at almost 900). If you don’t mind, there will be more of these. In gratitude to all of you.

Maggie

Shopping Can Be Murder

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Now that I’ve got a solid draft of the third Debs book done and to my agents who’ll use their eagle eyes to spot boo-boos, I can finally think of the holidays. Ed’s off today so we’re heading out to get our tree at some point, and I’ll dig out the Christmas decorations from the basement to make the house look semi-festive (I’m no Martha Stewart so “semi” is pretty much it). Then I’ve got to start pondering gifts; although with the tragic news of Black Friday incidents, I’m considering doing all my shopping online.

Um, might I ask what’s up with Black Friday and mayhem? A Wal-Mart worker was trampled to death in Long Island, two men shot each other at a Toys-R-Us in California, and two women were hit by a car in a parking lot in Kansas City all because of cheap electronics and talking Elmos?

Who thought of this Black Friday thing? I’d like to clobber them with a leftover turkey leg. Wouldn’t it be easier on everyone if they just had these super-duper deals starting at regular store hours on Friday and then extending through Christmas (or until supplies ran out)? Then people wouldn’t have to camp out in parking lots for 12 hours or more ahead of time, trying to be first in line. Instead, they could spend more time with their families, which is what the season’s supposed to be about after all. When did things get so crazy? Like worrying about nutball drivers (hello, hang up the cell, please!), the recession, terrorist attacks, pirates, and earthquakes (yes, St. Louis is on a fault line!) isn’t enough. Now I have to fear for my life when I’m Christmas shopping?

Oy! As I’ve said many times to my hubby, I think I’ll just stay home and never go out. It’s a good thing I’m a full-time writer so I could actually do that if I had someone else to do all my errands. Unfortunately, Stephanie Meyer’s assistant is really busy at the moment, and Mary Higgins Clark’s staff won’t work for free. Rats.

I’ve decided I’m going to develop a realistic shopping strategy, one that doesn’t place me in the middle of crazy-busy malls with shopping zealots who’d doubtless slit my gizzard in a fight over a Wii. Last year, I did plenty of on-line and catalogue shopping, but I missed Cyber Monday entirely because of the book and I’m probably a little late for ordering from catalogues. What I want to do is print some of my gift ideas from the manufacturers’ websites, visit local stores that carry those brands, and see if they can order for me. I’d much rather deal with local retailers anyway, particularly ones in my ‘hood. We’ll see if that pans out!

I’m also planning to do some shopping at the area Humane Society (no, not for a new kitty…this time!). They have a cool gift shop, and I’m supporting the organization by spending money there. I’ve got other donation-related presents on my list as well. Last year, I gifted my pig-loving aunt with a three month sponsorship of Snortin’ Norton at a rescue farm. Linda loved getting the card with Snortin’ Norton’s photo, saying “thank you for feeding me–oink!” So if any of my family is reading this, don’t be surprised if you get a card saying you’re the proud sponsor of Chuckles the Chicken or Gouda the Goat. And you’re welcome already.

I’d like to hear from y’all about how you’re changing your shopping habits this year, whether it be because of tight times or mega-mall-phobia. Are you buying on-line more? Making more donations? Doing hand-crafted gifts?

Sometimes it seems we forget entirely what the season is supposed to be about, and it’s certainly not nabbing the lowest price on a flat-screen TV or a new Wii. Have any of you ever scrapped the commercial aspect of the holidays altogether? Or had a truly “green” eco-friendly Christmas? Let me know. I’m game for suggestions on how to enjoy the time of year without the busted budget and all the stress!

Susan McBride’s YA series debut with Random House, THE DEBS, features four prep school seniors in Houston clawing their way through their debutante season. A Fall 2008 Kid’s Indie Next Pick, THE DEBS has been called “Gossip Girl on mint juleps.” The second DEBS book, LOVE, LIES, AND TEXAS DIPS, will be out in June of 2009; the third, GLOVES OFF, in March 2010. Susan has also penned five Debutante Dropout Mysteries for HarperCollins/Avon, including TOO PRETTY TO DIE, and has signed with HC/Avon to write a trade paperback beach book called THE COUGAR CLUB, about three forty-something women who date younger men. Visit her web site at http://www.SusanMcBride.com for more scoop.

Susan McBride

Nip It in the Bud!

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I was out raking leaves the other day—a nice break from chaining my butt to my chair during deadlines—and while I breathed in the chilly fall air and cleaned up the gardens a phrase popped into my head: Nip it in the bud.

Maybe it was the appearance of roses still on one of the bushes that got me thinking about buds. More likely it was my subconscious working overtime, always trying to figure out ways to improve myself. When it comes to my brain and the things it conjures up, I have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy; but I’m glad it tossed out the “nip it” idea regardless.

I’m already thinking of the ways nipping it can alleviate a lot of the stress I cause myself. Like when it comes to small injustices that inspire me to fight instead of back down. My grandfather was of the mind that “if it’s only money, it’s not worth it.” My husband feels the same. But I’m dogged when it comes to unfair situations, like companies that have been incompetent or unethical. I’ve cried writing three-page letters detailing work gone wrong or unfounded overcharges. I spent countless hours on the phone dealing with my medical insurance and bills not covered when I went through breast cancer treatment. Have you dealt with the health care industry these days? It’s a lot like running in circles, and it made me exhausted and upset during a time when I needed to heal. Wish I’d been smart enough then to just to nip it in the bud by settling things quickly.

Another stress-inducer: my looooong memory. My husband remarked the other morning, “You don’t forget anything, do you?” Okay, not much, which is one of my problems and a big reason I need to practice more nipping. I can recall conversations verbatim from decades before. I remember the good and the bad, people I’ve loved and who’ve done me wrong, those who’ve lent me a hand and those who’ve torn me up with lies. I’d like to blame my hyper-retentiveness on being a writer. We’re a sensitive lot with skin not near as thick as we’d like. We seem to want to swim through our emotions instead of taking the bridge across them.

That’s why this whole “nip it in the bud” idea rocks and I’m applying it as we speak to a friendship that’s recently gone in the crapper. It’s sad, because I’ve known this pal for years, but we’ve been drifting apart for awhile now. I kept thinking I could build some kind of tunnel to re-connect us, but it just ain’t happening. Some people appear in our lives when we need them most and eventually they travel on their merry way. That’s actually a wonderful thing when you think about it. So I’m nipping this one in the bud, too. I’m not dwelling on it any longer. I’m accepting the situation for what it is, and I’m packing away my fond memories so I can proceed with a peaceful heart and a smile. Ah, it’s like breathing in that chilly fall air again: liberating and refreshing.

I truly admire folks who don’t wallow in emotion, who don’t rehash ill-fated relationships or frustrating conversations nightly in their dreams. My husband has a very healthy “live and let live” attitude. He doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff. I wish I could be more like that, but I probably never will, not entirely.

I tend to let more people into my circle than he does, and I give folks a chance, even when I’ve heard whispers, like, “don’t trust him” or “she’s a self-absorbed twit.” I’m inclined to form my own opinions. The trouble ends up being that the warning whispers were right on target. It’s then that I usually step in a mess trying to back my way out; but, Lord, how those messes can linger, like dog poop on a shoe tracked all over a houseful of wall-to-wall carpet.

But, from this point on, I’m gonna nip it in the bud. I will see that untrustworthy self-absorbed twit for who he/she is, realize I cannot change him/her like a misguided Mother Teresa, and I will gracefully walk away. Doesn’t that sound good?

Now if I could just nip this latest deadline in the bud, I’d be in great shape.

Susan McBride

Susan McBride’s YA series debut with Random House, THE DEBS, features four prep school seniors in Houston clawing their way through their debutante season. A Fall 2008 Kid’s Indie Next Pick, THE DEBS has been called “Gossip Girl on mint juleps.” The second DEBS book, LOVE, LIES, AND TEXAS DIPS, will be out in June of 2009, and Susan’s busy writing GLOVES OFF. Susan has also penned five Debutante Dropout Mysteries for Avon, including TOO PRETTY TO DIE and BLUE BLOOD. She’s recently signed with HarperCollins to write a trade paperback women’s beach book called THE COUGAR CLUB, about three forty-something women who date younger men. Visit her web site at http://susanmcbride.com/ for more scoop.

Finding Myself Again

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Finding Myself Again
by Susan McBride, author of THE DEBS
As I write this, I’m on deadline for Book Three in my YA series for Random House, not even a month after THE DEBS debuted, and I’m gearing up for the Southern Booksellers convention in Mobile, AL, where I’m doing a panel and signing. Oh, and I’m celebrating seven months of wedded bliss (awww!) and thankful to have survived a flooded basement, recent landscaping, a TV appearance (fun!), and interviewing Sandra Brown for the County Library (she’s amazing!). Though I’m not quite on the hectic “travel and promote like a maniac for six months post book release” schedule I put myself through when I was writing my Debutante Dropout Mysteries for Avon, it still feels like there’s always more going on than I ever intended. How does a calendar that starts with such blissfully empty days turn crazy so quickly?

Is it just a woman’s duty to burn the candle at both ends? Are we born with this kind of driven DNA? Because I know my husband—and most of the males in my family, come to think of it—aren’t exactly Type As.

Sometimes it takes a crisis to shake things up, doesn’t it? While on two book deadlines during my breast cancer treatment in late 2006 and early 2007, I tearfully vowed to reprioritize my life. I’d taken on so many duties beyond my writing—like, joining tons of professional organizations, volunteering on boards, judging awards, and speaking at book clubs, libraries, schools, and mystery conventions—that I completely lost sight of myself and my original goals. At the peak of my multi-tasking, I met Ed, now my husband, after being selected one of St. Louis Magazine’s Top Singles, which required attending parties, being “sold” at a charity auction, and assorted other tasks. For awhile, it felt like I was squeezing in time with him between everything else. Not the best way to nourish a growing relationship.

This might sound weird, but I think it took the breast cancer to make me think, “Whoa! Something’s gotta give.” As scary as that period in my life was, it had a truly positive effect. I cut out all the extraneous activities I possibly could. I got off the Internet groups I’d submerged myself in for years. I learned how to say “no.” I put my health and my marriage first, refocused on my writing, and moved everything else off my must-do list.

Let me tell you, none of that was easy. After being so immersed in the mystery community—having made so many friends and acquaintances in that world—it felt more like losing a part of myself than finding myself again. But, little by little, I began to realize how full my real-life was and how much I’d missed feeling like a (fairly) normal human being instead of Stressed-Out Multi-Tasking Barbie. Ed and I established Saturdays as “date” days where I wasn’t even allowed to get on the computer. Instead, we stroll around the Missouri Botanical Gardens, stay over at a nearby B&B, or just hang around the house together. My writing—as opposed to book promotion—has taken center-stage in my career, and incredible projects have come my way.

I won’t say I’m all the way there: at the perfect zen stage where I truly know how to relax and breathe. I still feel like I’m juggling more balls in the air than I should, but I’m slowly learning what “having it all” means. And it ain’t running nonstop like a hamster on a treadmill, that’s fo’ shizzle.

I’d love to hear how y’all find peace in your busy lives! Other than eating chocolate, I mean (I’ve warned Ed that cookies are my Xanax). Oh, and thank you, Stiletto Gang ladies, for having me!

Susan McBride’s YA series debut with Random House, THE DEBS, features four prep school seniors in Houston clawing their way through their debutante season. A Fall 2008 Kid’s Indie Next Pick, THE DEBS has been called “GOSSIP GIRL on mint juleps.” The second DEBS book, LOVE, LIES, AND TEXAS DIPS, will be out in June of 2009, and Susan’s busy writing the third. Susan has also penned five Debutante Dropout Mysteries for Avon, including TOO PRETTY TO DIE and BLUE BLOOD. She’s recently signed with HarperCollins to write a trade paperback women’s beach book called THE COUGAR CLUB, about three forty-something women who date younger men. Visit her web site at http://SusanMcBride.com for more scoop.