In addition to her award-winning archaeology mysteries, Dana Cameron’s Fangborn short story, “The Night Things Changed,” won the Agatha and Macavity and was nominated for an Anthony Award. Her historical short story, “Femme Sole,” appears in BOSTON NOIR and an historical Fangborn story, “Swing Shift,” will appear in CRIMES BY MOONLIGHT (April, 2010). Dana lives in Massachusetts and you can learn more at www.danacameron.com.

In between gatherings with family and friends, we spent the end of this holiday season as we traditionally do: flaked out on the couch, eating too many chocolate shortbread cookies and drinking just enough whiskey, while watching whole seasons of serial drama. Last year, Rome was the focus of this marathon. This year, it was Deadwood, The Sopranos, and Mad Men. Criminal behavior set in the past (even seen through flashbacks) makes for a fine time, even if it meant our new shelter kittens Kaylee and Zoë learned some exceedingly bad language.

One of my most memorable moments as an archaeologist was the day I was working on a 17th-century house site. The guides would lead groups of visitors past, and usually they’d ignore me, pretending perhaps I was an over-sized and grubby garden gnome. Or maybe a vole. On this particular day, a woman gazed at me dreamily and said, “Wouldn’t you love to have lived back then?”

My first instinct was to say, “Lady, are you kidding me? Potential attacks from pirates, Europeans, andIndians? Rampant epidemics battled with medieval medicine? Limited legal rights for women? And that’s before you consider what this waterfront would have smelled like back then. Alex, I’ll take the category “Things That Make A Seagull Retch” for $100, please. Rotting fish, garbage dumped outside, oil lamps, and privies? I think not. Give me indoor plumbing, electricity on demand, and antibiotics any day.”

Being a well-behaved garden gnome, I said, “The past is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

Apparently, that was not concession enough; she looked disappointed. She clearly believed the good old days were better than these, that big skirts + petticoats + horse-drawn carriages = fine manners, crossed legs, and decency. To quote the Bart: Au contraire, mon frere. Do some spelunking through the court records of the era, and you’ll see what I mean. Better yet, check out The Naked Quaker. This splendidly fun book runs down some of the highlights of 17th-century New England police blotter: violent fisticuffs in church, highwaymen, sex scandals, theft, cheating, witchcraft. I mean, it might as well be an episode of Maury.