Tag Archive for: writing

Trust the Gut

/in /by

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about instinct.  The kind of gut feeling that helps us with self-preservation.  The older I get, the more I’ve learned to trust my gut, even if someone else is telling me I’m wrong.  Because that little voice inside my head has proved right too many times to doubt it. 
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in late 2006, a mammogram had shown that a cyst my doctor felt was nothing.  I got a letter stating that I was fine.  “See you next year,” it said. If I hadn’t listened to my gut—and my body—in the weeks after and insisted on an ultrasound three months later, I hate to think where I’d be now. 
More recently, I went to my dermatologist for a pink spot on my upper chest.  I didn’t think much about it until it got dry-looking and bled a bit when I nicked it with my fingernail.  That spot ended up being early stage skin cancer.  There was a second pink spot, even tinier, but I had a bad feeling about it.  I asked my dermo to check that one out, too, before I went to the surgeon to have a procedure called Mohs to clear out all the cancerous cells.  She smiled and remarked that the second spot looked benign then she sent it off for biopsy.  I found out the morning of my outpatient surgery for Spot #1 that Spot #2 was also early stage skin cancer. 
“I’m glad I’m so paranoid,” I told people.  But, truly, I’m glad I’m so unafraid of looking stupid that I dare to speak up when my gut tells me something.
Not only did these experiences teach me to be pro-active when it comes to my health (as with so many things in life), but they reminded me to pay attention to my instincts.  Trusting those gut feelings can sometimes mean the difference between life or death.  I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true. And I think so many of us have been trained to depend on others to tell us what’s what—doctors, lawyers, financial advisers, whomever—that we stop listening to ourselves. Or maybe we never start.
That’s bad news if you’re a writer, particularly one who writes from her gut, as I do. It’s pretty impossible to know for sure when I’m writing a first draft if what I’m putting down on paper is good or bad, if my agents and editors will love it or loathe it. “Does this sound right?” I wonder.  “Does it move too slowly?  Is this character interesting?  Likable?”
Unless we constantly have someone else looking over our shoulder, telling us what to do (which would be paralyzing, I think!), we need to trust our instincts to know if what we’re writing is worthy or not.  When I read a book that’s well-done, I feel it inside.  Something “clicks” within me, and soon I’m absorbed in the story, along for the ride.  When I find a book lacking, I end up dissecting it rather than enjoying it (or I just stop reading it altogether). 
I find it’s like that when I’m working on a first draft.  If I don’t feel a “click” when I write a scene or chapter—or if I feel stuck—I know my gut is saying, “You might want to rethink this, Bubba.”
All writers work so differently.  Some outline. Some fly by the seat of their pants.  Some do a bit of both.  But in order to become better and stronger at what we do, we have to trust ourselves—trust our gut—and listen to that little voice that guides us. 
I’m trying very hard to stop second-guessing myself.  I’m not always right, that’s for sure.  But when that little voice inside my head speaks up, you can bet that I listen.

Guest Blog – Amy Bourret, Author of MOTHERS & OTHER LIARS

/in /by
            “No mother would ever do that. Period.”
            “I wouldn’t make those choices, but I can understand why   
Ruby made  them.”
            “The author obviously has no maternal instincts.”
            “How dare you write about mothers when you aren’t one?”
            “I wonder how you would have written the story differently if you were a mother yourself.”

This is just a handful of the feedback I have received on my debut novel, Mothers and Other Liars, which was released last fall by St. Martin’s Press. One of the biggest (and most rewarding ) surprises I have found on this side of the publishing journey is that an author actually does get feedback. I have had readers write to me with very specific ideas on what they want to read in the sequel. I have had readers write to me just to tell me that they loved my book, or that they became “friends” with my characters and want to keep them around. And I have had them tell me that they hated, hated the book. One thing is clear: people feel very strongly about the choices my protagonist, Ruby, makes.
And you know what? I’m elated to hear it all, even the excoriations. I feel that it is a true privilege to be invited into peoples’ homes for the several hours that they read my book, and it is an absolute honor when my words, my story, my characters, stick with readers after they have finished the book. How many books have each of us read that we forget completely the moment we finish it. I’ve been known to check out the same book from the library several times, not realizing I had read it before until I hit around page 37 or so. You have to remember the story to have an opinion about it; it really has to stick with you (whether in your craw or in your heart) to stoke your passions.
So I’ll take them all, and I’ll even admit to feeling giddy at the idea that people are passionate about Ruby and Lark. I’m not a mother myself (the nerve!), but I think the author/character relationship is not so different from parent/child. I mean, you love your kids and think they are great and your friends might tell you they are adorable, while behind your back they are saying, “What. A. Spoiled. Brat!” So yes, I’ve felt especially giddy, call it proud parent syndrome or my own little Sally Field moment, to hear that you like them, you really like my characters.
Some of the most fun I’ve had has been meeting with book clubs. I love book clubs. I am a member of three myself (although one has pretty much devolved into a wine and whine club; the books are rarely mentioned let alone discussed, that is when we bother to choose a book at all), and the opportunity of visiting others may be reason enough to write a book. Ruby and Lark’s story makes for great debate (especially when wine is involved!) and I have enjoyed hearing the discussion first hand. I’ve been amazed at some of the insights of readers, connections and subtext that I hadn’t even recognized myself. The book club members get all excited that a “real live author” is coming to their meeting; I feel humbled just to be invited to their table. And the visits never seem repetitive: each book club has its own tenor and timbre that steers the conversation in a unique way.
So call me an idiot to my face, challenge my right to even write about a topic. Love the short chapters because you can stop at any time; hate the short chapters because you stayed up all night telling yourself “just one more.”  Like my vivid imagery; hate the “flowery” writing. Bring it on, baby. And then I’ll say a sincere thank you, for reading, and for caring, about my book.
Amy Bourret is a graduate of Yale Law School and Texas Tech University and a former partner in a national law firm. Her pro bono work with child advocacy organizations sparked the passion that fuels Mothers and Other Liars, her debut novel. She lived for several years in Santa Fe and now splits her time between Aspen, Colorado and Dallas, Texas. Learn more at http://www.amybourret.com/.

Murder with Lipstick

/in /by
by Susan McBride 
I was fortunate enough to blurb Bethany Maines’ debut novel, BULLETPROOF MASCARA, as her fabulous editor at Simon & Schuster is my former mystery editor at HarperCollins (hi, Sarah!).  When I read the book, I knew I’d like Bethany as she has a wicked sense of humor.  Since then, I’ve come to realize she’s truly a Renaissance Woman:  graphic artist, martial artist, runner, writer, pot painter, dog mom, and, starting in June, a Stiletto Ganger.  We’re very excited to have Bethany join the fold.  To introduce her to you all, I figured I’d ask some questions, beginning with her new novel released at the end of April. 
Susan:  First off, congratulations on the release of COMPACT WITH THE DEVIL, your second novel after the very entertaining BULLETPROOF MASCARA. Was writing COMPACT very different than writing your first book? Did you feel more pressure?

Bethany:  Well, with COMPACT I didn’t change editors several times and there weren’t multiple complete re-writes, soooo… no actually I felt less pressure. BULLETPROOF MASCARA took such a long time making it’s way into print that by the time I was “supposed” to be writing COMPACT I had an entire rough draft tucked away, so I just pulled it out and freshened it up, which made the whole process go quite smoothly. It didn’t occur to me that there could be more pressure until people started reading it. Then I realized that there was a whole level of reader expectation that I wast entirely un-prepared for. I’m still not prepared for it actually. Mostly I’m pulling an ostrich on that one.

Susan:  How do you categorize your novels? When I read BULLETPROOF, my impression was “Charlie’s Angels meets James Bond.”

Bethany:  That’s probably a pretty good summation. I’ve been telling people that they’re action-adventure for girls. I really enjoy action movies, but when I was growing up most of the women in action movies were screamers and/or boobs. I remember enjoying “Total Recall” well beyond the actual quality of the movie because both the heroine and the bad girl (a pre-Basic Instinct Sharon Stone) were ass-kickers in their own right. There have been more of those types of characters in recent years, but when I was a kid I wanted action movies with a woman as heroine – someone that I could pretend to be, while the dudes were pretending to be Van Damme. So when I started writing I wrote what I wanted. Hopefully my books create an action movie vibe but with women of strong character who believe in making their own choices.

Susan:  What, if any, of Bethany shows up in Nikki?

Bethany:  When I set out to write BULLETPROOF MASCARA I knew I was writing the first adventure of a super-spy, so I really thought hard about the problems I saw with “first” novels – both the first novels of writers and the first novels about a character. One of the problems I saw was that first novels often feature characters that are thinly veiled versions of the author. So I tried to make Nikki as different from me as possible. I don’t have red hair, I didn’t study linguistics, I don’t speak French, I’m not super into speed, I’m taller than she is, my parents are still married and my mom’s not crazy. This caused it’s own set of problems of course, like having to research linguistics and finding someone to translate French for me. I think where Nikki and I overlap is in our attitudes. I have a strong feminist streak (in case you haven’t noticed) and I really believe that women should help each other. I also think we share a bit of the same sense of humor and we both love to travel.

Susan:  You have a lot of action scenes in your novels. Does being a runner and a martial artist influence that?

Bethany:  Mostly it shows up in the ways that I don’t write action scenes! Not only does my dojo have a strong family feeling (“The family that kicks together, sticks together!” is not just a slogan), but my brother and sister-in-law are also instructors there, and if I wrote something that was too unrealistic or inaccurate I’d hear about it. Talk about pressure! The last thing that I want to hear when I come in to teach my class is, “That is not how you break someone’s arm!” Well, I don’t want to hear it about something about I’ve written anyway.

Susan:  What are some of your favorite books? What’s at the top of your TBR stack?

Bethany:  Favorite books? That’s a long list! Um…. In no particular order, THE BLUE CASTLE (If you haven’t read it do it NOW) by LM Montgomery, THE BLUE SWORD by Robin McKinley (or maybe I just like blue…), SNOW CRASH by Neal Stephenson, GUARDS! GUARDS! by Terry Pratchett, THE DEATH IN… series (Zanzibar, Cyprus, Berlin, etc) by MM Kaye, and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST by… Actually I forget who wrote it, but the one illustrated by Hilary Knight. And I’m sure I could think of a dozen more if I thought about it for longer than a minute, but my most recent favorite is THE MANUAL OF DETECTION by Jedidiah Berry. It had a beautiful dreamy quality that was perfectly suited to it’s plot.

And as for the TBR stack…I’m dying for HEARTLESS by Gail Carriger to be released. (June 28th! Not that I’m counting!) I’m so addicted to that series (SOULLESS, BLAMELESS, CHANGELESS, look them up if you love a good bodice ripping, vampire, werewolf, mystery type of story). And I’ve got an interesting YA book called MATCHED that’s up next on the night stand.
Susan:  And–because we are the Stiletto Gang–I have to ask if you have a favorite pair of high heels? You get extra points if they’re animal print, you know.
Bethany:  Oh no! I don’t own any with animal print! But I do have a pair of candy apple red slingbacks that are pretty much to die for.

For more about Bethany and her books, please visit her web site!

Book Signings and the Midlist Author

/in /by

by Denise Swanson

Phew! My newest book, Murder of a Bookstore Babe, came out March 1, and I’ve been on the road promoting it for the past two and a half weeks. Writers have to be a bit schizophrenic. We spend the majority of our time alone, in front of a computer with only a cat for company (okay, not every writer has a cat), then for six-eight weeks, when our new books hit the shelves, we suddenly need to become Oprah, or at least Dr. Phil. I’ve heard publicist tell authors they need to be warm and friendly, but still maintain an aura of celebrity. I’m not sure what that means exactly, and the concept of a midlist author as a celebrity makes me laugh so hard, I nearly have an asthma attack.

Writers go from wearing our sweats and jammies day in and day out, to getting gussied up in our best outfits for two months straight. The good part is we get to go shopping because, of course, we have nothing to wear . Our publishers want us to charm the booksellers, librarians, and readers, but caution us about being too pushy. Okay, I know what too pushy looks like—I once saw an author slip his (yes, it was a he) book into an unsuspecting shoppers basket. Like the shopper wouldn’t notice an extra $25 on her bill. But I’m not sure about charming. The best I can hope for is amusing.

In my eleven years of doing book signings, I’ve had turnouts of well over a hundred people to as few as eight (I’m hoping that was because it was the day before Mother’s Day and everyone was busy buying fabulous gifts for their moms). Still, that kind of experience makes every book signing terrifying. A little like, will I get the lady or the tiger?

So why do I do book signings? No one is convinced signings increase sales. My publisher only pays my expenses for a fraction of the appearances that I make. So, again why? Because there is nothing like meeting the people who read your books. Getting a chance to interact and hear their questions is what revs me up for the next ten months of staring at my computer.

When a day of writing feels like I’ve had to open a vein, I remember the teenage girl who had her father drive her all the way from North Dakota to Minneapolis to meet me. When I can’t figure out what’s wrong with a story and want to give up, I remember the grandmother, mother, and daughter who showed up at one of my signings and recalled more of the details from my past books than I did. And when I think the whole thing isn’t worth it, I think about all the people who are trying so hard to get their books published—because even though it’s been eleven years since my first book came out, I’ll never forget just how lucky I am.

Denise Swanson, the New York Times bestselling, award-winning author, decided she would rather write about villains than encounter them in her daily life. She was also shocked to discover that getting a book published was nearly as difficult as vanquishing scoundrels. Her books are set in Scumble River, a fictional small town in Illinois, and feature Skye Denison, a full-figured school psychologist-sleuth who is torn between a handsome police chief and an urbane coroner. Murder of a Bookstore Babe is the lucky 13th book in her Scumble River Mystery series.

Ding Dong, Deadline Calling!

/in /by

As I write this, I’m down to the wire on my deadline for Little Black Dress, my tale of two sisters, a daughter, and a magical dress that changes all their lives forever. It’s something different for me after writing series mysteries, a YA nonmystery series, and contemporary women’s fiction. Little Black Dress mixes the past and the present (okay, with a pinch of mystery!), and it alternates between two very different voices.

I just finished proofing 300 pages after staying up late and working through the weekends to get this baby done. It’s weird how deadlines never seem that intimidating until, oh, about six weeks beforehand. That’s when you realize that maybe you shouldn’t have scheduled a fundraiser you’re spearheading that close to D-Day, and innumerable real-life crises rear their ugly heads (never fails).

It’s when you tell yourself, “Hey, this is life. Put on your big girl pants and deal with it.” Only that doesn’t keep the clock from ticking or that danged deadline from looming like Fraggle Rock (wait, that’s a kid’s show, right? Not very scary, huh?).

When I realized I had, oh, five chapters left last weekend, I went into panic mode, staying up way past my usual bed-time, working like a maniac (and, no, I don’t drink coffee!). It helps when hubby has a late night hockey game and doesn’t return until after midnight so I can write until he gets home and finds me with my face on the keyboard, QWERTY squished into my forehead. (All right, it never happened, but it was a constant threat.)

Ed has gotten used to seeing me in my pajamas 24/7, often with my hair sticking out like a rat’s nest. I would mumble inanely, “I swear, I’ll shower after dinner,” and then I’d disappear into my writing room and not emerge until 11 p.m., still a mess. But I would have gotten another chapter done.

If all goes well, by the time you read this deadline-itis inspired babble, I’ll be hitting “send” and turning in Little Black Dress to my agents and my editor at HarperCollins.

At which point, I plan to sleep for days, watch mindless HGTV, read the books stacked on my bedside table, eat chocolate, and pray that they don’t come back and say, “Er, Susan, that thing you sent us? It’s a pile of poo.” (Has anyone ever had that happen, God forbid?) And soon enough, I’ll have to do revisions, turn in a proposal for the next book, and get back to writing again. No rest for the wicked, eh?
With two books due in 2011, I should really take a spin in the nearest phone booth (er, if I can find one) and emerge in my super-powered, superhero suit, consisting of plaid flannel jammie pants, the “rock star” T-shirt Maggie gave me, fuzzy socks, and rat’s nest hair. “Ah-ha-ha,” I’ll say in my throaty–um, squeaky–voice, “I am Deadline Girl! Look out!”

Or else I’ll just take a nap.

Little Black Dress has been bumped up in the schedule and will now be out in June from HarperCollins instead of next fall (or, actually, May 17, 2011 if we’re being particular). You can already pre-order it online, which is kind of funny as of this moment, since I just finished writing it. Toodles and TGIF!!! –Susan

Thursday Morning with Marilyn Brant

/in /by

I’m so happy that Marilyn Brant can join us today! She’s a great friend of mine, and she’s got a brand-new novel out called FRIDAY MORNINGS AT NINE, which revolves around three forty-something friends who regularly meet for coffee and talk about everything under the sun. I figured to go along with the theme, I’d do a little Q&A session with Marilyn for y’all to read as you sip your morning caffeine. So here goes!

Susan: Tell us about your most recent novel in 30 words or less.

Marilyn: FRIDAY MORNINGS AT NINE is a modern fairy tale about three suburban moms who each begin to question whether they’d married the right man or were living the right lives.

Susan: Okay, now more details, please!

Marilyn: Each Friday morning at the Indigo Moon Café, Jennifer, Bridget and Tamara meet to swap stories about marriage, kids and work. But one day, spurred by recent e-mails from her college ex, Jennifer poses questions they’ve never faced before. What if they all married the wrong man? What if they’re living the wrong life? And what would happen if, just once, they gave in to temptation?

Soon each woman is second-guessing the choices she’s made–and the ones she can unmake–as she becomes aware of new opportunities around every corner, from attentive colleagues and sexy neighbors to flirtatious past lovers. And as fantasies blur with real life, Jennifer, Bridget and Tamara begin to realize how little they know about each other, their marriages and themselves, and how much there is to gain or lose when you step outside the rules.

Susan: What was your favorite scene from the book?

Marilyn: One chapter I had a lot of fun writing in FRIDAY MORNINGS AT NINE was an adults-only Halloween costume party in the middle of the book. It made for a long, complicated chapter (I felt as though I practically had to choreograph it), but it’s a major turning point in the story for all three of the women. Some very serious things are happening in regards to each of their marriages, but those dramatic moments are juxtaposed against an absolutely absurd party setting, which made laugh whenever I tried to visualize the event.

Susan: What was most important to you in the writing of this story?

Marilyn: I’m always trying to be honest about the complexities of human emotion, particularly in regards to relationships. I would say with FRIDAY MORNINGS AT NINE, the biggest issue I wanted to explore was not so much the concept of “cheating” as a theme but, rather, the far less titillating subject of “choosing.” That a woman can really only be in a relationship fully — marital or otherwise — once she understands how and why she’s chosen to be there. That she has to look closely enough and listen deeply enough to know who she is and what she wants. And that in every romantic relationship or good friendship, she chooses over and over again (either consciously or unconsciously) whether she wants to stay. I believe that’s true of all of us, and I wanted my characters in this story to move from unconsciously living very unexamined lives to consciously, actively making a choice about where they were headed.

Susan: Where do you find inspiration for your work?

Marilyn: From conversations I overhear, things my friends tell me, funny stuff that happened in my family, incidents I’ve observed out in public, stories I’ve read in books or seen on TV and those endless “what if?” questions writers always ask themselves.

Susan: What’s your favorite thing about being a writer?

Marilyn: Getting to do something creative every single day! Truly, that’s been such a gift. Even when the plotting of a scene is giving me fits or the synopsis doesn’t seem to make sense at all…I love knowing that I have a place to play with these characters and storylines. My hope is that by writing about women’s dreams and experiences as honestly as possible, I might get closer to helping readers recognize truths about their own lives. It was this sense of “recognition” that my favorite novelists gave to me, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Susan: What’s your advice for writers looking to get their novels published?

Marilyn: Don’t follow trends just because you think it’ll be an easier sell. And write the books that fit your voice. If what you love writing happens to be a hot-selling genre, great. If your writing voice happens to be perfect for the genre you want to write in and love to read, that’s awesome, too. But–if not–write long and hard enough to find what DOES fit you and your style best. Because then, even if it takes longer to make that first sale than you expect, you’re writing the kinds of stories you most enjoy, and that passion has a way of working itself into the projects you’re creating.

Susan: What’s next for you?

Marilyn: I’m in the process of beginning blog tours, library visits, book-club chats and other public events featuring FRIDAY MORNINGS AT NINE, which is a Doubleday Book Club and Book-of-the-Month Club selection for October 2010. I’m also still doing some fun Austen-related promo for my debut novel, ACCORDING TO JANE. I’ve just turned in my third novel (the title is still up for debate!), which will be out next fall, and it’s a modern “A Room with a View”-like travel adventure. It has characters that play chess, Sudoku and Mah-jongg, eat lots Italian gelato and linguini, and spontaneously sing Andrew Lloyd Webber songs and other musical-theater selections. Finally, I’m starting the writing process all over again for my next women’s fiction project, which I’m really excited about. I’ll, hopefully, be able to share more info on that story soon!

Marilyn Brant has been a classroom teacher, a library staff member, a freelance writer and a national book reviewer. She lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband and son, surrounded by towers of books that often threaten to topple over and crush her. A proud member of the Jane Austen Society of North America, Marilyn’s debut novel featuring “Jane” won the Romance Writers of America’s prestigious Golden Heart® Award. When not working on her next book, she enjoys traveling, listening to music and finding new desserts to taste test. Readers can visit her website at MarilynBrant.com.

Bulletproof Ideas

/in /by


by Bethany Maines

When I started writing professionally it was with the understanding that I was, as my high school English teacher once wrote on a short story, “not very creative.” And ok, later I figured out that said teacher had gone to junior high with my mother and probably hated me (What did you do to her, Mom? What?!), but some things stick with you. So it surprised me when people kept asking me, “How did you come up with your idea?” Oh please, like it never occurred to you to invent a make-up company that saves the world one woman at a time and with extreme prejudice. But it turns out that it hadn’t occurred to most people to do that. Or to invent genetically-engineered glowing-salamander tube lighting. (I thought that one was great – not sure why it got rejected.)

But as I venture further into writing, the bedrock questions remain, “How do I find inspiration? And how do I find it NOW?” I wish I knew how to make inspiration happen on command, but I’m not sure it can. British fantasy satirist Terry Pratchett suggests that ideas sleet through the universe like a meteor shower looking for a receptive brain, and I tend to believe him. The ideas are out there. The trick is to figure out how to make the brain more receptive.

First, do not try to make an idea-catching hat. That would just be crazy. However, do not be afraid to wear funny hats. If you free yourself from the idea that you have to be appropriate all the time, then it means you’ve freed yourself up to be silly, daring, adventurous, and just a little bit crazy. And, in my experience, that’s where the good stuff is.

Second, research is your friend! Ideas lurk in the new and unexpected, so learning something new exponentially increases the chances of having an idea. Which is how I justify my addiction to going on vacation–it’s research!! Learning how to say “apricot” in French from a crêpe dealer? Research! (For the record it’s ap-reh-ko, thank you, and no, you will not be getting your crêpe until you say it correctly.) Following my idiot travel companion onto a tuk-tuk in Bangkok because some stranger on the street said the Temple of the Giant Catfish was THE place to go when clearly he and the tuk-tuk driver were in cahoots? That’s inspiration fuel at its finest! (The catfish were indeed giant, and the neighborhood as shady as expected, but there actually was a temple, and we didn’t get kidnapped and sold into slavery.)

Third, as a wise man from someplace called Ridgemont High once said, “Wherever you are is the place to be.” Yes, new and crazy are good, but sometimes your life is all the inspiration you need. Which is another way of saying, “write what you know.” But besides writing what you’re intimately familiar with, write like your life is important. I know sometimes we all feel like our lives are occasionally dull, horrible, and eye-stabbingly painful (make sure it’s someone else’s eye), but that’s because we’re the ones living through them. Someone else’s life always looks more interesting to us (which is why we read and write to begin with), but we should remember that the world is chock full of someone else’s. Look at your life from the outside and you may be inspired by what you find.

So when the idea meteors are just bouncing off my noggin, I try to use one of these techniques. I hope I’ve helped all of you out there on the intra-web to some fresh inspiration as well. And now, as another wise man said, I will go home and attempt to “Learn it. Know it. Live it.” Thank you Judge Reinhold, and thanks to the Stiletto Gang for letting me visit!

__________

Thank you for visiting, Bethany! You are too funny (and so is your book)! For more scoop on Bethany and her fabulous debut, BULLETPROOF MASCARA, visit her at BulletproofMascara.com.

Because I Feel Like It

/in /by

Rachel Brady

Last week I took a shine to doing things just because I felt like it. It started with painting my toenails glittery orange. Then there was an impromptu trip to the beach with my little boy. Soon I reversed course and started skipping certain things I didn’t feel like doing. I walked past the dishes in the sink and let the unfolded laundry wait for later. I deleted a few events from my calendar. Decided I’d rather do something else instead.

Gotta say, I liked where this was headed.

Some of you may wonder what the big deal is here. Aren’t we all free-thinking folks with the ability to choose a course for ourselves? Sure. But something about my internal wiring has left me forever reluctant to hop on board the train to Changed My Mind. Seems like any time an activity has ever hit my To Do list, it has been cemented there.

Normally, I wouldn’t have made that beach trip until all the other undesirable chores were finished first. Ditto for settling in at night to read a book or work on my manuscript. Those things feel too leisurely, as if surely some punishment must be completed first. All this stems from my responsibility gene, I’ve decided. The same one that has me attending social functions out of a sense of duty and obligation, even if I’d rather be somewhere else. I’m starting to change my mind about all kinds of things lately, and in most cases I don’t even feel apologetic about it anymore.

It began with a comment from my friend Carrie last February. After asking me to go running with her on the upcoming Saturday, she told me it was okay to just say, “Maybe. If I feel like it.” No yes or no required.

Strangely, this response would never have crossed my mind had she not put it out there. I’d have either said “yes,” and honored that commitment, or I’d have said “no,” and then felt obligated to offer up a really good explanation of why not. And I never would have been so rude as to remain non-committal like she was suggesting. But having her permission, I took her up on it. And I discovered that I liked leaving my calendar open to make last-minute decisions depending on whether or not I felt like doing something.

It started spilling over.

Carrie was the only person in my cast of friends to offer this carte blanche approach to planning, but I started using it with everyone else around me anyway. I said no to requests for volunteer work (don’t judge me!), turned down invitations to do local races with friends, and even (yes… Mom Guilt here) set boundaries with my family.

I learned a few things. My young son can dress himself and brush his own teeth. My daughters can put away laundry and pour their brother’s cereal in the morning. And somebody else around here has been feeding all the pets because I stopped doing it a long time ago and, as yet, none are dead.

What do I feel like doing instead? Writing.

For years, I waited until everyone in my family was asleep before I started to write. I made all their lunches, loaded the dishwasher, picked up toys, and did laundry–all after bedtime–and then turned on my laptop at nine or ten o’clock and wrote if I had anything left to give. I don’t feel like doing it that way anymore.

I want to write a book this year. A whole book, not a few disjointed chapters spread out wide over the course of months and years. So, twice a week I’ve been leaving and going to my local library for about three hours at a time to write. Alone.

Do I feel guilty? You bet.

Is it stopping me? Nope.

Somewhere in here, there must be a balance. I’m still looking for it, just like everyone else. The day may not be far off that I’ll decide my new M.O. is selfish and then revert to my old ways. I’m open to that possibility. But this year I’m serving others less and writing more.

Admittedly, I’m having a little rebellious streak right now. Still, I hope the Stiletto Faithful will also consider what you’d most like to do in life. Once in a while, I hope you’ll pursue those things too, because you feel like it. No apologies required.

Being Medal Worthy

/in /by

Did you watch the Winter Olympics?

I did. I enjoyed watching most of the events even if I didn’t like the way NBC broadcast them – here, there, everywhere.

Like reading a book, I prefer to start at the beginning and read each page – good, bad, or ugly. I never skip to the back. I even read Tom Clancy’s mechanical descriptions. If I’m going to read a book, I’m going to read it – all of it.

If I’m going to watch an Olympic event, I want to watch all of it. I want to see all the competitors, not just the ones who NBC decides have “medal” potential. How can I judge how good the winners are if I don’t see the losers? Hey, maybe today’s losers will be the winners next time, and I was denied an opportunity to see them when they were inexperienced, awkward, and just starting out. And what about their mothers? Don’t you think they wanted to see their kid on television?

I know there were more than 6 female figure skaters at the Olympics, but the “powers that be” decided I didn’t need to see them. I don’t even know what I missed.

What if “writing” was like competing in the Olympics? What if the major publishers were like the broadcast networks – they only promoted a few books – the ones they decided had “medal” potential? What if the newbie writers, like the young skaters, couldn’t get seen unless they did the writer’s equivalent of a triple axel, triple toe-loop? Or had a compelling story? A perp-walk? A comeback from a terrible injury? A “bad-boy (or bad-girl)” attitude?

Wait.

Writing is like the Olympics. Sigh.

Good starts are vital. Keep a tight form, pay attention to detail, follow the rules so you don’t get disqualified, keep up your speed, keep your cell phone turned on in case your agent/coach calls to tell you about your big break, and finish – always finish.

And it doesn’t hurt to get in front of the camera every chance you get.

Yep.

Writing is like the Olympics.

Sigh.

Evelyn David
(Off to sharpen her skates, uh … pencils.)

p.s. Why do the bobsled athletes wear capri pants?

p.p.s. Please excuse a little self-promotion. Evelyn David won a mini-writing contest this weekend!! The short-short story had to be under 200 words. But don’t be fooled by the length. Mac Sullivan doesn’t need a dictionary to solve the whodunnit. Check it out at the Working Stiffs blogspot.

Five Things I’m Thankful For

/in /by

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at The Stiletto Gang!

On Thanksgiving, do you stop to think about all the things you’re thankful for? I do. There are so many, but most can fit into these five categories.

The top five things I’m thankful for:

5. Health and Happiness (knock on wood; we have obstacles, but overall, we’re good!)

4. Writing for a Living (to earn *a meager* living doing what you love is fantastic)

3. The writing and book loving community (truly, they are an amazing group of people)

2. Good Friends and Family (because what would life be without them?)

and number 1 on my ‘Thankful’ list is…

1. My wonderful kids and husband (because they really do give my life meaning)

Have a wonderful day!!

~Misa